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Unread 01-19-2002, 06:44 AM
kids visiting after surgery


Welcome to HysterSisters - glad you found us. Your reaction to finding out about your surgery is normal. Just about all of us have felt the same way at one point or another pre op

I had exactly the same question as you - although my boys are 14 and 10. My DH and I discussed it - we knew that the 14yo would be ok with going the the castle, it was the 10 yo we were concerned about.

First, we asked them both - seperately - how they felt about going. Both wanted to go come see me. But what clinched it was when the 10yo admitted how scared he was about me having the surgery...he was adament about coming to see me as soon as possible after he got out of school day of surg - so he would know for himself I was ok. Since he felt so strongly about it, we prepared him for how I MIGHT look and what to expect. As it turned out I felt really good when they finally got there. I was glad to see them, they were relieved to see me.

My suggestion is talk to him, since he's a little younger, maybe not have him come the day of, but the next day or so. If he feels like he NEEDS to see you for reassurance, I would go with that. Just my humble opinion - and everyone IS different. Best wishes for a successful surgery and smooth recovery!
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Unread 01-19-2002, 01:39 PM
I have an 8 yr old daughter...

and after having 2 little brothers in the past 3 yrs she is just glad I am going to the hospital and not bringing another baby home!!!
I want my 3 yr old to come up and see me because he is the clingyist and I want him to know I didnt run away and am near by...I think my 8 yr old understands what is going on but she is very mature about our bodies, she read my "what to expect when you are expecting" before the first baby was born and knows all about every thing now.
I am sure how I would react to this sit. if she were a boy????
Unread 01-19-2002, 03:34 PM
My kids

I had my tah/bso due to suspected and confirmed (at surgery) to ovarian cancer. I told my kids 13,11,9 before surgery that I had to have surgery because my cells were growing crazy, and they were taking the crazy ones out. I told them that I was kind of sick and if I didn't have the surgery I would get sicker.

My 13 year old knows about cancer as he happened to be studying it in his science class. He was more aware of the danger of the disease so I discussed more in detail with him.

I didn't let my kids come the evening after surgery. They did come the next evening. My dd (9) was frightened by my oxygen tube, if I had known I was going to have one, I would have warned her. My 11 year old thought it was just like on ER tv and he thought it was all okay because I said it was.

They helped me feel better and I think seeing that I was sick but over the "cutting part" as my dd said it helped them.

Just my two cents. RobinS
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Unread 01-19-2002, 04:33 PM
kids visiting after surgery

I have two teens 13/15 years old. I decided to have them visit me on day 2 in the castle.... but told htem both I would talk to them on the phone on the evening of surgery.

WOW!! Thank God I did not have them visit. I was able to talk on the phone... but for a few minutes and that was hard! I was all ready for them and feeling so much better the next evening.. I was going nuts waiting for them to get there!

My advice... tell your kids they can come on day 2. Then IF you are feeling up to it that first night... you can change your mind and have them visit. If not, you do not have to worry them about changing your mind and telling them to stay home.



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