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Pre-op jitters Pre-op jitters

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Unread 01-21-2002, 02:08 AM
Stay positive


Hi again. Hey, keep your sense of humour, stay positive and don't listen to Mum. Don't remind her again that you are going for surgery.

I know what Mums can be like. Mine is similar and I cut her out of my life 10 years ago. I still love her, but have not spoken to her in all that time. I had to do it for my sanity.

Keep coming in here. The ladies here will always listen and keep you on track.

All the best wishes for your upcoming surgery.

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Unread 01-21-2002, 02:48 AM
I'll share my mom regarding hysterectomy!

My mother had a total hysterectomy and her appendix removed in the early '70's. She had bloating, and can't recall any major problems, in fact she said her life felt extremely liberating after the surgery. Her whole life improved, and her sex life was not ruined. (I like the term "liberating" since women's lib was popular at the time).

She too wasted a lot of time in bed with unbearable periods of a lot of pain and extremely heavy bleeding/clotting. I share a common experience. Who wants to live with that their whole life? So the hysterectomy was a fortunate solution for her.

I am having my surgery on 1/28 and my mom's advice and great support has helped convince me to go ahead with the surgery.

Another important thing to remember is that as our parents age, they need more of our attention. My mother has to deal with taking care of my father who is ill. Sometimes she does say things that seem out of her character due to her stress (and perhaps age).

It's fortunate for me that on this subject matter she IS supportive! But, I have found she isn't that supportive with the fact I have to deal with infertility issues and not being able to have children. Go figure? So, I guess it just depends, taking the good with the bad. Many blessings, life's a box of chocolates!
Unread 01-22-2002, 08:14 AM
Pre-op Jitters

I was worried about our sex life, too. I had a TAH, kept ovaries in December. I asked my doctor the day before surgery and he said 50% of sex is in your head. (So don't let your fears ruin that part.) My husband and I have resumed our intimacy, even though I am very bad and was supposed to wait another 5 days. The first time wasn't planned, we just sort of were messing around and got too far to stop. It was great! (Even though I was apprehensive about the first time after surgery.) But wait till the Doctor gives you the okay, the next day I felt guilty and had to talk to the nurse to make sure I hadn't done any damage.

The l-o-n-g 6 weeks just made us want each other more, and it was so intense when it finally happened. Thursday and Friday we are staying in Palm Springs, NO KIDS. It will be a post hyst celebration. (At least I know I won't be on my period!!!!!)

The hyst will be worth it in the end, I found that my fears outweighed the actuality of both surgeries I had last year.

Don't think too much, and you are in my thoughts.

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Unread 01-22-2002, 08:54 AM
Pre-op jitters

Hi, Badger,

Your hysterectomy won't be your mother's hysterectomy. Unless you're still legally a minor, you're the one who will be signing the consent form for surgery.

You're also the one who makes the other choices in your life. You can choose to enhance your recovery with positive influences, eg healing music, pleasant fragrances, and nurturing people. Or you can choose to make your recovery a negative experience, with negative people, the grating noise of disapproval, and the stench of unhappiness.

It doesn't sound like your mother is coming to take care you, do the housework, and take care of the family. I have to agree with Ann Landers on this one. Ann says that no one can take advantage of you unless you allow them to. As adults, we all make choices. If your mother packed her bags, she's probably capable of unpacking them, too. You get to choose whether she comes in your door, or stays out.

Sometimes learning to say NO is the toughest part of life. You get to choose.

I hope your recovery from surgery will be a healing, restful time in your life.

Best wishes,
Unread 01-22-2002, 10:38 PM
Thank you

I appreciate your being there and listening to me so much. My DH told me today that if she doesn't make some aggressive moves to find a place of her own then he would find her a place whether she liked it or not. You are so right about her not coming to help me. She's so mad I'm having the hyst done she didn't even call me today. It was so great! I've to pick her up TH
hursday from My brother's house. He lives almost 2 hours away, and I am dreading the trip. She's supposed to spend the weekend with her sister, then I go pick her up Sunday evening. I know this sounds selfish, but this will so disrupt our household. None of us smoke and she's a smokestack. I've told her that she's going to have to go outside because both my son and I suffer from severe allergies. Plus I have 4 birds that it will be bad for. The list could just go on and on. Just pray for me that she finds an apartment that will suit her soon, or I may end up moving and leaving her my house. She'll just get up one day to a completely empty house. Wouldn't that be a hoot?
Anyway, we'll get through it one way or another. I'll just be looking a little for awhile. God bless everyone on this website. Y'all have been a true gift to me.

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