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Just plain confused and lost Just plain confused and lost

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Unread 02-03-2002, 07:31 PM
Just plain confused and lost

I had originally posted this on pre op hyster, but on the advice of some of the beautifull women there, they said I might get more help on this board so here it is.

This is my first time here, and the best place so far to find information so thank you so very much for this web site.

I got pregnant about 7 yrs ago and during the first exams I had an abnormal pap smear. Come to find out it was carsinoma and they couldnt do anything about it until i deliverd. After I delivered my son I had a coneocopy where they took a cone shape piece from my cervix. After that everything was okay except I didnt get my every 6 mnth pap. I started bleeding about 3 mnths ago and had stopped for about 4 days the whole time. Deep down I knew what it was but couldn't face it. Finally after being nagged by my husband I went to see my regular dr and he sent me straight to a gyn oncologist. On the 24th of Jan I had some very very painful tests done. He found lessions on my cervix again and he had to do a biopsy on them. My husband went with me and was a great comfort during the pain. I am now waiting for the results that could change my life drasticly.

We have 3 children so I had my tubes tied after the 3rd because we didn't want anymore children. During the first procedure I was givin the option of a hysterectomy but chose not to because I was still young then. I am 32 now.

But now the real problems come in. There is a very good chance that the carsinoma has come back or is worse, and I am facing a hysterectomy, and I am scared to death. I go in on Feb 7th to find out my faite.

I need help on hospital stays and when I can go back to work....I have an office job. And when me and my husband can finally have sex. If anyone can give me just a idea(I know its diff for everyone) I would appriciate it. I am just so lost and so scared and so confused about this whole thing that I am having nightmares and running myself down. I have read some of the stories but they mostly pertaine to tumors and such in the uterus. So if anyone has had to have a hysterectomy because of cervical cancer please help me from going insane.

Thank you and sorry this is so long. I have much more to say, but I'm afraid I have already takin up to much space and time as it is.

Lost in Texas :cry:
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Unread 02-03-2002, 07:55 PM
Just plain confused and lost

Hi, Texas!

And welcome to the cancer forum. You will find lots of supportive ladies who have been through similar situations here.

You're in a tough spot right now because you are waiting for results to come back. That's never any fun. I had an abnormal PAP 15 years ago followed by a cone biopsy (where they remove a wedge of your cervix and remove the interior cells). All went well for me for a few years, then I started having abnormal PAPs again. I had 2 freezings done in 3 years. Then, just about a year ago, I had it return again. After the biopsy, my doc did a LEEP (similar to a cone but with a laser), and the results led me to a hysterectomy. Mine was carcinoma-in-situ (some call this stage 0 cancer). I had a TAH, kept my ovaries, and needed no further treatment. I go back every 3 months for follow-ups.

Recovery is typically 6-8 weeks for the majority of women (3-4 days in the hospital). Most are instructed not to have intercourse for 6 weeks, but some will wait longer if instructed by their docs or if they are just not comfortable yet.

It's very normal for you to be scared, Texas. Try to take one day at a time until your results come back. Once you have that information, it will be easier to focus your energies in the right direction. In the meantime, feel free to look around the site and post whenever you like. We all know what the waiting game is like, and sometimes it helps to have company. Other sisters will be along soon to welcome you and share their stories.

Here's another for you.
Unread 02-03-2002, 08:10 PM
Just plain confused and lost

Thank you Jeanine, thank you so much. I just know(or maybe its hysterical fear?) that the carsinoma has come back or is worse. This waiting is driving me crazy. My poor husband has been so supportive but he has been freakin out and is very scared. The advice I give him is "don't worry until the dr's appointment" HA wish I could take my own advice. I really think I should have had the hyster 6 yrs ago when they first did the cone. It was suggested very heavyly but I felt that if I did....I would be less a woman(ignorant thinking now).

I just want the bleeding to stop...I hate permenate periods
I don't have pain except for all those bios he did on the 24th of Jan. If they do do a hyster then they think they can leave my ovaries so I won't have to take hormones.

I don't know. I don't know anyone personally that has had one, so I don't know what to excect. Leaving work for that long is also scary. Money wise and boredom wise.

I have read things here that have both comforted me and scared me to death. I hadnt even thought of the possibilty of chemo.

Thank you for your answers though.....it does help so much
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Unread 02-03-2002, 08:17 PM
Just plain confused and lost


10 years ago my paps came back abnormal. I had a Cone Biopsy and that took care of it until 1999 when my pap came back bad again. I had a colposcopy and another Cone. The pap done 3 months after the Cone again came back showing high grade dyplasia and my dr suggested a hyst.

It went pretty well for me. I was in the hospital 3 nights. The only pain I ever had was at the incision and that was well managed with pain meds. I took pain meds for about a week at home. I was post-menopausal, so there was no big decision about taking the ovaries. I had no hormonal issues after the surgery.

I've read more than one place that if you have to have a GYN cancer, cervical is the best one to have. My path report came back showing CIN3 and Carcinoma-in-Situ.

I found this site a couple of weeks before my surgery. I asked questions and read the pre-op and post-op boards. By the time I went in for my surgery I was feeling much better about the whole thing. I knew what to expect and had no surprises.

Take care and Good Luck!
Unread 02-03-2002, 09:15 PM
Just plain confused and lost

Hi Texas,
I'm sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to your fear. In 1999 I was pregnant with my first child and was diagnosed with stage 1 adenocarcinoma of the cervix. I had only had one slightly abnormal pap 2 years prior so this took me completely by surprise. My story is a long and sad one because our beautiful daughter was born still and two weeks after her birth I had to have my heart broken again because I had to have the hysterectomy. No more children. The surgery wasn't too bad, I had some bladder problems for awhile but I healed well and so far have been cancer free. I do have some swelling in my left leg because of lymph node removal. I try to take it easy and not over due anything on my feet. The emotional healing has been much harder than the physical. I tell you this because it helps me to help others in crisis. I am a very compassionate person now and I too live in Texas (Ft. Worth area). If you need any help in any way or need a good doctor, let me know. I would love to talk or listen and support you all the way.

God Bless You. You are in my prayers.

There is a wonderful bright side to my story. We have adopted a beautiful baby girl. She and Faith keep me going!

Unread 02-03-2002, 09:46 PM
Just plain confused and lost

Hello Darsa and major to you.

I was lucky that I had already had 2 healthy children and the one I was pregnant with was born healthy. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss and to have to go thru the hyster. But on the other side congrates on your daughter and may you have many other successes on adopting more if that is your wish.

I was so scared.....still am I guess, but being here and having so many caring people to help me thru this and to share their stories with me when I know it has to be hard for them to, has helped me in so many ways that I cant even begin to mention.

On the issue of drs, we recently had a gyn oncologist move to our small part of Texas(abliene). He comes very highly recommened by my family physcian who I trust completly. During my first visit in which he did the bios he was supper. So in that part I am lucky.

I thank you and am glad things worked well for you and can only hope that mine will to.

Christine-waiting for test results
Unread 02-03-2002, 10:14 PM
Just plain confused and lost

Hi Christine, welcome to the CANCER CONCERNS forum. I have already answered the post in pre op.

What you are feeling right now is perfectly normal. The waiting can drive you insane and while you are waiting your mind constantly plays scenarios over and over. Will it be cancer ? Is it spreading like wild fire through my body. We all go through it But like others have said, usually a hysterectomy is all that is needed to treat precancer/cancer of the cervix.

As for the boredom after your hysterectomy , well just keep telling yourself that this is the chance to heal properly and pamper yourself. The time for me seemed to fly by. Once I was able I would visit the hystersister chat room and that was fun as well as supportive. You can catch up on reading and it is always good to be able to just 'be' We dont get much time to do that in our busy lives these days.

Please dont ever hesitate to come here whenever you need support or if you want to cry or if you need a big We are always here for you. And please dont think that you are taking up space by posting a long post. It is ok , that is what hystersisters is all about . Sending you lots of love as you wait for results . Much love always xx
Unread 02-04-2002, 12:35 AM
Just plain confused and lost

Hello Texas....I too have went through the abnormal pap thing...Found out in May 2001. June 2001 they did a coloscopy and biopsy. I was told it was High grade and I was borderline invasive cancer. So in July they did a LEEP. And 4 months later I went back for my repeat pap. Abnormal again, this time mild. My doctor gave me some options, another LEEP or another coloscopy/biopsy or a vag hyst. I went for the hyst. I also had had my tubes tied 7 yrs prior, but I was still freaked out. I am now 13 days post op and feel great. I never had the heavy flow thing or pain while O.T.R so I couldn't really relate. But all in all I posted my fears here and the sisters were awsome to say the least. I come to this site many times a day..it is an addiction! A good one...I know today I feel good, tomorrow I may feel bad so I make sure to keep up with the post, I have got so many helpful hints here...And one of which I'm sure you have already heard...the waiting is the hardest part! Post all your fears, questions or whatever here...The sisters are great. Try to do other things to keep your mind off it alittle bit, I know it's hard. But the waiting will have you bouncing off the walls! Remember there are many ladies here who have that shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Please keep in touch with all of us and let us know how your doing.

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