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  #1  
Unread 02-11-2002, 08:28 AM
question/support

Hi, I'm new on sight and have debated if what I have to ask would be foolish but I want to know before pre-op. My surgery is for 03/07/02 and the doctor isn't sure how it will be done. TVH is the way he wants to start but then told me he made to do LAVH. If he sees endo then he will go do TAH. I have been very anxious about a TVH or LAVH being done. I was sexually abused as a very young child and exposed to more than I should have been. I am in therapy and I am afraid that the anxiousness I have may be a memory trying to surface-I don't think I want to remember it-not now anyways. Would it be correct for me to ask the doctor to do a TAH instead of going from one to the other. The doctor knows a little of what I have been through-I just don't want to tell him how to do his job. Any suggestions?

I truly enjoy this web site and am glad I have found it. thank you.
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  #2  
Unread 02-11-2002, 09:11 AM
Fellow Mainer...brrrr

Dear Shy

As a fellow survivor of abuse, I can relate to your message. I'm hoping that you have a doctor who can understand your emotional state surrounding these issues and will work with you on them. No question is foolish, even though many of us think they are before they're asked. I, for one, feel so much better once I have answers. This sounds like a serious thing for you, and that's what matters---YOU. This is your body, your decision, and feeling good about what you're stepping into is very important.

I'm not sure on this (plus I'm not a doctor), but I think it's a decision between patient and doctor as to how these operations are done. Insurance may have a say also, not sure on that either. But you have time to ask these questions, and I encourage you to do that.

I had a TAH because the doctor and I had concerns as to what other problems were lurking inside other than in utero.

Big s to you, and I truly hope you get all your questions answered to feel ok with this. I agree, this site has been wonderful.

Rachel (aka Loopy)
TAH 1/17/02, relieved of fibroid uterus, ovarian cyst, and all the problems that went with it!
  #3  
Unread 02-11-2002, 01:20 PM
support

Gailee
The decision and need for surgery is a hard one even without all the other concerns you've expressed. Please do be frank and open with your doctor. I'd tell him/her the truth. I went in for a TVH and ended up with a TAH due to finding endometriosis that I didn't know I had. It's all worked out for the best as I am sure your situation will be. I think expressing your feelings, fears, and all is a good thing. I thank you for for courage to share. I think you are in a wondeful place for support. These ladies are awesome. I'm going to send lots of love, hugs, and prayers your way.
Rose
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  #4  
Unread 02-11-2002, 04:42 PM
question/support

Dear Shy One - Please discuss each and every one of your concerns with your dr. I am sure this may be difficult but your emotional well being is very important in your healing. You should definitely have some say in your surgery.

I have never been through something as traumatic as you. Have you happened to check out the Aching Hearts site? You may find someone there who can help you through this time.

My ers are with you.
  #5  
Unread 02-11-2002, 04:54 PM
question/support

Gailee - I agree...talk it over with your dr. You need to do what's best for you.

My gyn. discussed everything with me...then I made my own choices.
  #6  
Unread 02-11-2002, 05:09 PM
question/support

Please discuss with you Dr, you don't need any added baggage
with this surgury. God Bless you. I wish you peace. Let your
needs be known to your Dr.
  #7  
Unread 02-11-2002, 05:24 PM
question/support

(((((((Shy One)))))))))))

What I am going to tell you will not be easy for you to hear but I must prepare you for what lies in front of you.
I was sexually abused by two uncles and my dad between the ages of 8 and 13. I suppressed the actual details ever since it happened and I am 31 now. I never 'forgot' that it happened but I was spared the memories of details.
Well, the hyst brought all of it back full force. The whole idea of invasion and violation of that area was emotional and psychological torture. I wasn't prepared for this side affect at all. No one told me that past heart aches and horrors would be reawakened by this surgery. I was crushed and horribly depressed and had to seek therapy and meds to get me out of it again. I'm 9mnths post now and I feel wonderful in every respect. Please, don't think that I am trying to discourage you, I only want you to be forwarned. Its going to be difficult for you but you will survive this just like you survived the first time, only this time you will be in total control not the abuser.
I had a TAH and it had the same affect on me that you fear will happen with a vaginal hysterectomy. I really don't think it will make a difference psychologically speaking. The emotions and the memories will come just the same. You will be totally out of it when the surgery is performed so if you are able to go vaginally then you will have an easier physical recovery, yet it still requires healing and time. With the added abusive baggage that you are carrying in with you, then the emotional healing will take a bit longer.
My best advice is to continue seeing your therapist and monitor your possible depression after the surgery, likewise, tell your OB and your therapists all the fears and apprehensions you will be carrying into this surgery. The Hospital may have a counselor monitor you during recovery or maybe your own therapist would be able to stop in while you are in the hospital to check on you. I wish I had my therapist before the hyst. You are off to a good start. You already recognize the surgery as a huge trigger for the memories of abuse. Likewise you are seeing a therapist beforehand who will help enable you to get over this mountain.
My thoughts and heart go with you. Please, email me if you have other questions about this subject. I am very willing to share how I handled it and how I am handling it still.
Remember shy, you are already a survivor and nothing is going to change that ever. Your abusers can't touch you anymore. They've taken too much from you already, don't let them make this surgery harder for you.
I will hold you in my heart and prayers as you traverse this road.

Tender hugs and earnest prayers,
  #8  
Unread 02-11-2002, 05:36 PM
question/support

Go right ahead and ask your doctor. Mine *recommended* a TAH (but gave me my choice). Yours would probably be happy to do a TAH (easier for the doctor to see/work, quicker, less OR time, shorter time under anesthesia, more profitable...), but may have offered you the LAVH or TVH with the assumption that you would want to avoid a scar.

I don't have any history of abuse, but I still found the TAH to somehow preserve dignity just a bit, since there's no fussing around with one's "private parts". Your doctor might suggest that recovery could be easier with a TVH or LAVH, but I would think he/she would do a TAH if you really wanted one.

By the way, I don't think my TAH recovery was especially hard, so don't worry too much about that.
  #9  
Unread 02-11-2002, 05:38 PM
question/support

I am in tears at what you ladies have been through after reading your posts. God bless you and give you peace!
  #10  
Unread 02-12-2002, 03:25 AM
question/support

From the bottom of my heart I thank all of you for replying to my post. It means so much to me. I am pretty sure I will tell my gyn to do the TAH. I don't care if there is a scar. My inside is already that way. I am on antidepressants now and have been tackling my past for 3+ years. I find it hard to make friends with people and by having this sight as a venue is wonderful. At least I can share my concerns. DH hasn't really asked too many questions and I have 2 daughters who I don't say much to-don't want any of them to worry. With you as support, I can at least share my fears. I'll keep you posted as time draws near. God Bless all of you-your my angels!

Shyone.
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