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Feeling Unsure :confused: Feeling Unsure :confused:

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Unread 02-16-2002, 05:05 PM
Feeling Unsure :confused:

I'm scheduled for a LAVH LSO on Feb. 28th. I have fibroids, endometriosis, ovarian cyst on right ovary, dysplasia, and every time I feel like this surgery is the right thing to do, and I feel confident about my decision, a friend or relative will question me and tell me they think I shouldn't have the surgery. Then I start second-guessing myself. Now I feel very frustrated because this is such a big issue in my life right now and I just want to go into it feeling good about my decision and KNOWING that I'm doing the right thing. I guess I was just wondering if anyone else has had or is having this same dilemma. Thanks for listening. :confuse:

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Unread 02-16-2002, 05:41 PM
Feeling Unsure :confused:

Dear Dawn2Dawn,
I can truly understand how you are feeling. I am scheduled on 7 March, and basically begged my doctor to do a hysterectomy to improve my quality of life. (I have extremely heavy periods/clotting) and when he agreed it was kind of shocking. I know I need to do this, but it is very overwhelming. I don't think I've slept much these last few weeks wondering if I'm making the right decision. I've read on other messages that the waiting is the hardest part. All I know that this is so very difficult, more than I could have ever imagined. I guess all I can say to you is that you have to make the decision for yourself, weigh the positive and negatives and look to what you want for the outcome (future) i.e., will this improve your life? Can I ask how old you are? I'm 38. TerrySue
Unread 02-16-2002, 05:51 PM
Feeling Unsure :confused:

I'm 36, your story sounds alot like mine. It's true, that when you find this site you realize you're not alone, there seems to be so many women going through the same thing. Thanks for your post and I hope you do well with your surgery too!

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Unread 02-16-2002, 05:51 PM
Feeling Unsure :confused:

For some weird reason, friends, colleagues, family members, and strangers feel it's their job to make us second guess our very personal and medically sound decisions! As though we weren't crazy enough about it, and haven't spent countless hours thinking about it and discussing it with our doctors.

I don't think any woman has ever said..."gee, think I'll have an unnecessary hysterectomy today...I haven't had an unneeded major surgery in way too long...." DUH!!!

A good way to get around this problem is to stop talking to people about it. If you sense unsolicited advice coming your way...change the subject or even get up and leave the room. They'll get the message. This is YOUR decision, between you and your doctor and possibly your husband or SO. I know it's hard, but even though they may mean well, it's none of their business. You don't have to listen!!!

You hang in there, think it through, and make the right choice for YOU. THEY don't have to live with your pain, bleeding and other symptoms. THEY get to go home. You have to live with it!!!

s to you!!!!!!

Unread 02-16-2002, 06:11 PM
Feeling Unsure :confused:


I just left from talking to you in chat, and I have to tell you how glad I am that you are here.

No one here will tell you what decision is best for you, but you can be sure everyone here will support you and share their experience and insight with you.

We have been there; we do understand. This surgery is nothing to sneeze at; it's major surgery. Like Karen says, I don't think anyone wakes up one morning and just decides, arbitrarily and for no apparent reason, that she's going to march right down to the hospital and have one of those hysterectomies everyone's talkin' about!

Further, I agree with Karen: avoid this discussion with anyone who doesn't know any better. These people may be thinking they are showing concern and love for you - and they may be well-meaning, but what you need now is support. You and your DR will decide what is best for your health.

Bundles of s, sweetie - we are here for you any time.
Unread 02-16-2002, 07:18 PM
Feeling Unsure :confused:

After I responded to your post I got to thinking, my situation almost seems the reverse -- everyone is kind of encouraging me to go thru with this. It's strange because I feel like everyone around me is like "no big deal, get it done, it will take care of all those problems" but it is a huge decision and major surgery!!!! I guess we just have to be at peace with our decision and look back to what made us get to this point. Good luck and I'll be thinking of you. TerrySue
Unread 02-17-2002, 05:30 AM
Feeling Unsure :confused:

I am on the opposite side of this. My family has been encouraging it for a couple of years and never understood why I was taking the smaller baby steps instead of just jumping on the hysterectomy bandwagon. In my heart, I needed to know that I had done everything to prevent from getting to this point. Now, with my surgery scheduled on March 4, I know it is the right, best and only decision for me. My family is supportive (although I don't think my husband is remotely prepared for my recovery period) and I am comfortable that things will go smoothly. I am 32 years old and have five children (15, 13, 4 and twins that are 3) and I want to be a functioning member of my family once again. Best of luck to you. Know that no one can tell you when the time is right but you and your body. Thank them for their opinions and tell them you know they are just trying to be helpful but that now that your decision is made you would appreciate hearing only positive comments and if they can't do that for you, ask them to please refrain from discussing it at all.
Unread 02-17-2002, 06:29 AM
Feeling Unsure :confused:

Hi Dawn,

I know what you are going through with second guessing yourself!! I don't have a surgery date yet but my appt to the dr is on fri. the 22nd to confirm what I will have done and schedule. I have been having heavy bleeding for about 6 yrs now I am 35 and just recently remarried and I have decided that I want to have wonderful life with my new husband (I have a 10 yr old daughter and 8yr old step-daughter and I want to have fun with them instead of always worrying about starting my period every 2 weeks and it lasting for a while. Listen to yourself and what you feel is right for you!! We second-guess all of this but do we really want to go through this forever!!!

Best wishes to you and keep in touch!! E-mail me if you need that extra support!!
Unread 02-17-2002, 10:00 AM
Feeling Unsure :confused:

I too have been asked if I really need this done. In fact, my mom has talked to an aunt whose dd had this done and she apparently was VERY sick afterward. Just what I needed to hear. My boss told me to get another opinion. I guess they don't want me to be gone for that long. I have been bombarded with work (get what they can now) syndrome. I have asked GOD go help me with my decision and I truly believe that I have made the right one. I do not want any more children, and I surly don't want to be miserable any more either. I am confident that I have made the right decision, although I am scared, but reading these posts, I know that I will be okay.
Unread 02-17-2002, 02:42 PM
Keep your own sanity

It was hardest to break the news first to my mom, the doctor-wannabe of all time (whose ideas are not as informed as my own) but, when I finally did, I laid out the rules ... I indicated that I'm looking at the whole picture, and am making hard decisions after alot of research. Then we were able to share information gleaned from research, and she's been a fantastic support.
Good luck.

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