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Beginning of the END! Beginning of the END!

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  #1  
Unread 02-21-2002, 07:05 PM
Beginning of the END!

I have been patiently (ok not so patiently) waiting for my castle date to arrive. Now, with less than two weeks left to go I have hit yet another milestone on this intriguing journey. The start of my last period!!!

Ok, so yes, I feel joy at the thought of never, ever ruining another pair of underwear. Never getting to the bathroom too late, never buying "supplies" again. I know, all normal thoughts.

So please, tell me where the feeling of loss is coming from?? Why am I also a little upset at the same thought that brings me joy the second before? Is it doing something for the "last" time at 32? That thought sends me to thoughts about life and death and then you know that the good old insomnia follows shortly behind that. These must be those pesky jitters that everyone talked about when I was months away from my surgery and thinking, "that will never be me!" Ha!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who were so kind and generous to share their feelings prior to their castle visit. Hearing those stories helps me to understand that I am not abnormal or "losing my mind". I am, in fact, as normal as can be and have my mind as much about me as ever (not that this says much!)

So, anyone ever feel "down" when that last period struck instead of complete elation?
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  #2  
Unread 02-21-2002, 08:53 PM
Beginning of the END!

I am going through the same thing...I haven't had any real period problems, but it has been heavy for two years due to an IUD I am wearing. (I'm having the hyst because of cervical dysplasia which has spread to the glands and such.) Although it's certainly not like I love my period so much, it IS something that I've been doing every month (except for pregnancy!) for twenty years (I'm 32 as well.) Plus I know I was really eager to get my period for the first time, back when dinosaurs walked the earth, and the way it is presented, you know, the "miracle of womanhood" stuff; it's kind of like some kind of girlie badge of honor or something. Also, it is a very visible indicator that the system is working according to plan, and then the way it is so tied in with fertility. I'm probably not making any sense, but I've been thinking about this issue since finding myself in this situation, and even if I can't express it, I do understand what you're saying. Hang in there!
  #3  
Unread 02-21-2002, 10:18 PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one!!!

Ladies, you make so much sense to me!!! I feel the same way. I haven't had a period since Thanksgiving because I am on CBCP's and I almost want to allow myself to have one(by taking the green pills) before my hysterectomy. But I have to follow doctor's orders and keep taking the pills continuously. i couldn't figure out why I am feeling this way either. I hated having my period before I had kids and after each pregnancy, I looked forward to getting it back. But now they're too painful for me to really want to have one. I felt crazy because I will actually feel a loss. I'm so glad I'm not the only one out there

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  #4  
Unread 02-22-2002, 07:07 AM
Beginning of the END!

Ladies,
What you are going through is very, very common. Most of us have looked forward to our surgeries, yet feeling the same emotions that you are as the date approaches. I, myself, (age 45), knew that I was all done having children. I also knew that the upcoming surgery was going to be the best thing that could happen to me. However, even as I scooted myself from the gurney to the actual operating table, I was feeling doubts about my decision. This is because it is soooooo final - there's no turning back. If you have to, make a list of all the pros and cons of having surgery. If you are having surgery, make sure that the pros outweigh the cons. As long as they do, then go through with the surgery. But don't be surprised later, like me, to be doubting your decision. We as women were, unfortunately, raised to believe that we were put here to serve others & have babies.
Since this is a worldwide stereotype, it's hard to realize and deal with the prospect of "no longer being able to have babies". Like you're no longer a woman. This is NOT TRUE.
My surgery is over now, however, I still get weepy-eyed when seeing a baby. But I am dealing with my decision and know that deep-down, it was the right one for me. Don't let yourself feel alienated. We all understand the feelings & emotions that you are going through. And, unfortunately, only thewomen that have already been through this seem to be the only ones that truly understand it all. Hang in there. Make sure that this is the right decision for you (as long as you are able to decide - not have cancer, etc.). Then go forward with your decision. To tell you the truth, I think the waiting and constantly thinking about the surgery were the worst part of it all. The emotions that you go through prior and after surgery are worse than the actual surgery! Take care & keep posting so that all us other women can help you through your time of need.
Dawn
  #5  
Unread 02-22-2002, 07:51 AM
End for a new beginning :)

Hello there Ldjon5


Dawn is right. This situation creates so many new emotions and brings back a lot of old ones to. I was so happy when i got my surgery date. After all the years of pain, bleeding to death, anemia, clotting, and more than one period a month I was over joyed to think this will no longer be effecting my life.

I to had a final period that lasted 11 days and ended the day of my hyster (Mother nature has a sense of humor) As warped as it may be. LOL. I mostly had reasoned my rollercoaster of emotions to being on yet another awful period. After talking/reading about all the ladies here i learned i was having very natural reactions.

One minute i was happy YAY!! it will be over soon!!. Then the next crying and so sad about the entire thing. I found emotions i never knew were there.

After the sugery i was much the same for a couple weeks. Very grumpy at times even. I am 9 weeks postop today. I still find myself looking for my monthly period and in disbelief that it really is over. I feel great now and healing has been good. My new found life is no longer dictated by my blood flow or pain


Take care and be well
  #6  
Unread 02-22-2002, 08:08 AM
Beginning of the END!

Shell,
I know what you mean about Mother Nature playing a last joke on you. I got another period the day before my surgery !!
I had planned on drinking some champagne when I got my last one - but that plan didn't work out too well ! Couldn't drink because of surgery the next day ! I'm saving it for after my recovery is a little further along.
Take care,
Dawn
  #7  
Unread 02-22-2002, 09:05 AM
Thank goodness!

Hello ladies! I'm glad we can all relate! Lastnight in bed all of a sudden I just bursted out in tears! I couldn't explain it other than being scared/nervous/excited...? which one? I do have a lot of stressors in my life, but also before my surgery (which is coming up fast) I'm taking a trip (relaxation)! Hey, maybe PMS! I'm 26 years old, have diabetes and also have my tubes tied so I can't have anymore children, but I feel a loss of somekind. I still to this day if I see a cute little baby will tease my boyfriend and say "aw, let's try for one" deep down I"m serious, but it isn't reality. could then adopt, but between my boyfriend and I we have four children total so our nest is full and loving with all of us together. I know everyone is different, but it is nice to know your not the only one! All of you are thought of everyday!
Since a lot of us are having surgery around the sametime we should keep in touch through :email: ! Here is my e-mail address [email protected] Would love to talk to you all!

  #8  
Unread 02-22-2002, 11:49 AM
Celebrating the send off of last period!

Oh Boy Dawn. I know where your coming from. I wished i could have tipped the bubbley to. But it would have made me bleed even worse LOL My send off coctail was in my IV that completely knocked me out LOL!!!! Cheers ladies. This is the End for a new beginning

HUGS!!!!
  #9  
Unread 02-23-2002, 07:27 AM
THANK YOU!

Thank you everyone for your replies. I posted and then spent the next 24 hours down on the couch with the cramps and pain of this wonderful "one last time!"

I am glad to hear others felt a little touch of sadness at the beginning of the last period. I know many felt elation and that made me wonder if I were "off" somehow! Its so nice to know that if I am "off" others are out there with me!
  #10  
Unread 02-23-2002, 08:08 AM
Beginning of the END!

So, it's not just me! Whew...good to know.

I guess it's just that I am attached to my uterus. *no pun intended!*

I'm sure I will be very emotional at the pre-op appt. along with all that day and the morning of surgery.

I agree that the time building up to the appointment is the worst time. I think your mind is trying to rationalize it, but, as we are women, we are emotializing it instead. Does that make sense?

I busted out in tears at the ATM the other night, it gave me money, I don't know why I was crying! I think I was in shock, that was the day that I had my 3rd appt. with the u/s and they told me that I needed a TAH.

Sara
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