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My Fear is Killing Me My Fear is Killing Me

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Unread 02-25-2002, 03:38 PM
My Fear is Killing Me

I am going to see my gyn Wednesday to set the date, but I'm practically unable to function because of the fear that has set in. I do pretty good, find alot of encouraging words on this site, then I read one that sends me into major panic!! Even though I am in terrible pain today, I fear being hospitalized more. (pretty dumb huh). I have been crying all day and feel like I'm losing it. I've started seeing a relaxation therapist to help me get myself under control, but don't see her again till next week. I'm single, (no kids) so there is no significant other, but I do have my parents, but don't really feel like I can talk to them. My mom had a hysterectomy and she said it was the best thing that happened to her, I'm just a very high anxiety, stressed, worrier and so she doesn't understand why I have the panic attacks (as if I do), so I feel kind of alone. I think I'm okay one minute then the next I am in a full fledge bawling spell thinking how I just can't do this. I've accepted the fact I can't have kids, I'm just afraid of the unknown I guess. I feel like everyone at work thinks I'm being stupid, they're all like "just go, get it done" etc... I need some helpful advice.
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Unread 02-25-2002, 03:47 PM
My Fear is Killing Me


I'm sorry you are going through all of this right now...

What are you in pain from?

I wish I could help you by giving you a in person!

Unread 02-25-2002, 04:19 PM
My Fear is Killing Me

Hi Gracie,

I know how you feel. I was having panic attacks before surgery also I didnt know what was wrong with me. I talked to my doctor and I was put on zoloft and it has helped me alot. I was so worried about the surgery and the fear of the unknown. But I am here to tell you that I feel wonderful. I am finally pain free after all these years. I also have no children. SO far as your mom said it is the best thing I did for myself.

Feel free to email me :email:[email protected]

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Unread 02-25-2002, 05:50 PM
My Fear is Killing Me

Hi Gracie...
I know how you feel about fearing the 'unknown'. I find that I myself can handle just about anything as long as I KNOW whats going on! It's the not knowing, the unknown that gets me bad too. Please know that I DO empathize insofar as the feelings you have now. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt from Hystersisters!

Seriously now, I wish I had the *magic words* to take away all fears for all of us. I really, really do! However since I can't seem to get those words, all I can say is this...Yeah, I know that some posts can be 'scary' to some. Remember though, these are the words and experiences of other ladies just like you and I, and as such, we all represent the whole 'spectrum' if you understand what Im saying by that. In any given group, there are going to be x% who have no problems, x% who have slight complications, x% who have different problems, etc and so on. In the way that our reasons for surgery are different, our healing and recovery is different as well. We are all very unique!
That usless babble said, I wish you the very best of luck in surgery and recovery. Please do continue reading posts, weed out what you choose, and use what you can.
I wish I had more to offer, but all I can say is I have been where you are, and I can understand!
Good luck to you
Unread 02-25-2002, 07:58 PM
My Fear is Killing Me

Gracie, s!

I've been scared too. My surgery date is 3/13 -- 16 days and counting! I set the date last week Tuesday, felt absolutely joyful and excited for 3 days, and then started coming down and panicking.

What I'm doing is cruising this website extensively. I learn something new almost every day -- from hairdryers to nail polish to leg massager thingies to automatic BP takers to pain meds after surgery. The more I learn, the better I feel.

I also look at this like I am the manager, hiring a well-trained consultant (my gyn surgeon) to do a job I have chosen. I'm taking control of a lot of aspects of this -- asking questions, making lists of what to buy, what to bring to the hospital, what to ask the hospital staff.

And -- this is a little embarrassing -- one way I'm taking control is by shaving my own self down there. Never did it before; the doc could've done it after I went under anesthetic, but I figured, hey, why not make this an opportunity to find out what it's like?

I go between panic and excitement. Sometimes the reality hits me hard; other times I look forward to post-recovery and having my life back. I use homeopathics like Rescue Remedy, walk & stretch & do yoga, and journal a lot. It all helps a little.

Good luck!
Unread 02-25-2002, 08:03 PM
My Fear is Killing Me

Gracie, I know you feel! I had a partial hyst. in June 2001. And the night before my blood pressure was extremely high. When I got there in the morning, they were taking my vitals and they were joking that my blood pressure was breaking their machine! I felt so much anxiety I was literally sick to my stomach. And now I am scheduled to have another surgery for March 13th. To remove the O's. Long story...Anyway, ask your doctor for some Xanax, it is for anxiety. And should be taken only when needed. I works wonders! There is also Paxil for strees, and anxiety. That does not work as fast as the Xanax. It works over time, and the full effect does not happen until about 4 weeks. But the Xanax works in about 30 min.! You are not alone....I hope you feel better soon...Love. Jos
Unread 02-25-2002, 08:34 PM
My Fear is Killing Me

Kgrace, I think that every single person feels fear when facing surgery. they just have different levels. I know I was afraid and for me it was going/ being under anesthesia and the fear that I wasn't doing the right thing. I agree with a sister that replied that the info I got I felt better about( unless it was one of those scary posts!!!). I went and looked at the floor I would be on in the hospital researched this site extensively( the most help) and asked tons of questions. Would you be able to have someone spend the night with you at the hospital?? A caring soul? I did cuz I had had a previous surgery and the nights were the hardest for me( I struggle with anxiety too) and having someone there made all the difference. Let your doctor know how nervous you are. I asked for something to relax me the night before and for something the morning of surg and it helped. You are not "wierd" or alone in your fears, Stylib
Unread 02-25-2002, 10:09 PM
My Fear is Killing Me

We're all afraid of general anesthesia -- of not waking up again, right?

So -- how often does that actually happen, statistically? Anyone know? Anyone know whether & how it has changed in the past 15 years or so, with better drugs & attitudes toward getting people moving ASAP after anesthesia?

Don't wanna freak anyone out, just wondering. Sometimes statistics can be soothing.

Unread 02-26-2002, 06:49 AM
My Fear is Killing Me

The nerves prior to surgery were the worst. I kept working til the day prior to surgery and kept concentrating on the positives for after surgery, no more periods, no more pain, well the list goes on and on! The anesthesia drugs have come a long way in the last few years and I had a fear of being in la la land for a long time as I do not tolerate any meds. I think I came out of the anesthesia in pretty good shape as I went home 36 hours after my surgery. I do think that the mortality rate due to anesthesia is relatively small, any surgery is a risk but then driving your car down the road is a risk too! Please consult your doc for possible meds to help calm you a bit. Keep in touch, your fears are not unusual, we have all had them!

Unread 02-26-2002, 11:06 AM
My Fear is Killing Me

wanna feel better - you could be me - see todays post "ljblank dead or alive or just plain nuts" - these postings are keeping me sane (LOL) but really I do think I am ok,and you are too - do a search (please , b/c I have to leave to get to my MD appt's before they close for the day) search for relaxation or meditation tapes - I wrote alot of good ideas that have worked - listened, (actually just had playing inthe background) all day yesterday to meditation tapes - just kept flipping them in and out when I was in my office - I actually never - and still don't worry about dying or not waking up - only about eing alone in the hospital, and my sister and best friend have promised to be there with me, and to sleep over - hope this helps (sound sane to me, but then again it's me) LOL - wishing I could ROFL, but nothing evr makes me laugh that much, and I don't want to practice now (no laughing without pillows firmly in place - start practicing now ) = one less thing to worry about

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