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My son is terrified My son is terrified

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Unread 02-25-2002, 08:01 PM
My son is terrified

I am having my TAH on Wed 2/27 & my 9yr old son doesn't want to go to school that day. He wants to be in the waiting room with my DH & mom in case any thing happens. I have told him all will be fine. He is hysterical. I don't know what to do. Please advise.
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Unread 02-25-2002, 08:07 PM
Concerned Son

Is there a reason why you don't want him to be there? If not why not let him be there with your DH. My 20 year old was with my family and he was glad. I had some trouble breathing after surgery (I have asthma) so he was glad because even though it wasn't serious he felt like he was there for me. God Bless. Maybe if you let him see that it is ok maybe that will help.
Unread 02-25-2002, 08:31 PM
My son is terrified

I guess there is no reason other than he'll miss school.
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Unread 02-26-2002, 03:08 AM
My son is terrified

Hi Tracy,
It's a great idea to let him wait with your DH if he wants to. I have a 9 yr DD & a 10yr DS. Both are very anxious in their own way. I was telling my kids that when I come home from the hospital that they would have to help out & maybe make my breakfast. Well my DD thought that would be fine, my DS told me he can barely make his own (hates to put butter or jelly on toast) & that our house will be a total mess! LOL He's usually anxious about most anything & how it will affect him. My DD is more worried that I will fall or something when everyone goes to school & work. I assured her I would have the phone with me & everything would be all right. Sometimes they just need to feel a part of what's going on. Although they are young they have fears that they sometimes can't put into words. You are their whole life & I'm sure it's as scarey for them as it is for us. I'm sure they sense that we are nervous & they get nervous too.
I'm sure he'll be ok, & a missed day of school won't hurt. Have his teacher give him work for the day & while he's waiting him & dad can work on it. It will pass the time for both!
Unread 02-26-2002, 04:00 AM
My son is terrified


Mine are a little bit older...16 and 12. I'm having hubby call them at school to let them know I'm okay. I have only had a week to prepare myself and them for the far so good!

I will be thinking about you my sis...

Unread 02-26-2002, 04:54 AM
My son is terrified

If he seems extremely upset he probably isn't going to get much done at school anyway so I would consider letting him come to the hospital with your DH. If your surgery is early enough maybe he could be at the hospital and then go back to school??? I have two older 15 and 13 and three younger 4 and twins that are 3 so I am missing out on most of this. My 4 year old is concerned but staying with Grandma seems to take care of that! Best of luck to you with your son and your surgery!!!
Unread 02-26-2002, 05:37 AM
My son is terrified

Could your mom watch him at your home, instead of coming to the hospital? It doesn't sound like he will be in shape for school that day, but he is a little young to be in a hospital waiting room. Although it is unlikely that something will happen to you, if something did it is not the place for him. Also, the preop portion (where you are waiting for the surgery) may be too nerve wracking for a distraught 9 year old.
Unread 02-26-2002, 05:47 AM
My son is terrified

I had a LAVH/BSO on Feb 13th. My 10 yr. old son sounded just like yours. I was lucky enough to know that a few of his friends mothers had a hyster. , so I was able to tell him look so and so's mom had this done and she is just fine. That seemed to help the situation when he could put a face with someone who has had this done.
Unread 02-26-2002, 09:56 AM
My son is terrified

Hi Tracy, I agree that it might not be best to have your 9 year old waiting right there all day. Even assuming your surgery goes fine, it could be delayed (mine was scheduled to be the second one in the morning, still very early, and still it was delayed an hour and a half because the person before me had complications) and this might make him more nervous, plus at that age it's hard for them to be patient for that long. I have an 8 year old and a 12 year old. My 12 year old has a cell phone at school and we had an agreement that I'd call him as soon as I woke up in my room and he could call me back when he got a break and talk to me. This placated him. My 8 year old is one of those easygoing kids who always assumes everything's OK and he was fine with just hearing the news from his brother after school. I like the suggestion of maybe your son waiting with a family member at home if that is possible? Or can you make arrangements to get a message to him at school that you're OK when it's over?
Good luck with your surgery!


- Linda
Unread 02-26-2002, 12:50 PM
My son is terrified

I don't have children, so may not be the best person to give advice but my husband was absolutely terrified about my surgery. He was so frightened that I wouldn't wake up.

What really seemed to help him was getting him involved in DOING something. I had him help get the house ready for my recovery. He got the guest room ready (I slept in there for awhile because our bed is very tall, and also I didn't want him bumping into me!), went shopping with me for comfy clothes to wear, he moved everything I might need to waist-level (clothing, toiletries, cups, juice, etc.) so I wouldn't have to bend or reach, bought food and juices that would be easy for me, etc.

This helped him stay focused on AFTER the surgery, which helped him realize there would BE an after, and I would be coming home to him.

Perhaps if you got your son involved in helping get things ready, it could help him as well. Just a thought!

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