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I feel like an IDIOT! (very long, sorry) I feel like an IDIOT! (very long, sorry)

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Unread 03-08-2002, 06:37 AM
I feel like an IDIOT! (very long, sorry)

You don't seem weird at all to me. And if you are, I guess I'm in that class myself. I find myself questioning my decision every day the past week or so. I have endo, ovarian cysts, fibroids and possibly adeno, but I don't have pain every day. Sooooooo... when I'm not hurting, I feel like I'm nuts to be doing this and I tell myself I can live with the pain before and during my periods. That is, until the pain comes back. Some times I feel like I don't really have a legitimate excuse for doing this. I mean, it's not like I have a life threatening illness. So I guess I'm on the flip side of you. You don't have the pain, but you have a very serious condition. It's a difficult choice no matter what, and one that I've been wrestling for over 2 years. No matter what any one tells you, it IS a big deal, a really big deal. Just ask all the LIW and Princesses around here!! This isn't my first major surgery so I know what to expect. It'll hurt and it'll be uncomfortable, but pain meds will help. It'll take a while to get back to "normal", but it'll happen. There will be bad days, but they won't last. I worry about not waking up. I worry about sex after hyst. I worry about bladder problems. But I know that after all this is over, I'll be ok and doing this is the best thing for my health and quality of life. I'm nervous and cranky and whiny (is that how you spell whiny?) and it's all normal according to every thing I've read on this site, which is wonderful!!! Sorry for going on and on.... I can't stop talking about it either!!! And hey.........we're scheduled for the same day, so I'll be thinking about you and I'll say a little prayer.......
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Unread 03-08-2002, 01:01 PM
I feel like an IDIOT! (very long, sorry)


You're not weird at all. The "borderline" thing your doctor talked about is probably carcinoma in situ. It's not cancer yet, but it can become cancer if you're not treated. I have pretty much the same diagnosis and it *is* weird to have a hysterectomy when you're not in pain.

This group will help you get through this challenge. I've been up and down emotionally since my first biopsy. From what I've seen that is really normal.

Just remember, if you have questions that seem weird - don't worry about it!! Someone else has probably had the same thoughts and it may help them as well.

My TAH is April 8th so I have a little more time to prepare. Hang in there and keep in touch!

Unread 03-09-2002, 10:26 AM
You are not alone

I think all of us whether pre or post at one time or another have had the same thoughts that youare having right now. It is very normal.

For me it was a bit different, I had always had very painful periods. Even in hisgh school i would miss a couple of days a month becsue of it. My doctor just said that that was normal and should improve after I had children. It did not, in fact it got worse.

I have tried amny things to help from pain pills to bcp and back to pain pills. I had my tubes tied, tried herbs, just about anything anyone would suggest. My periiods stayed heavy and painful.

I started looking forward to menopause as a time when this would be all over. Well, things just got worse, I started having abnormal paps , cervical and uterine biopsies. I finally got to the point that i would haver periods that would last for a month with maybe a week inbetween. And the pain ws getting worse.

My doctor agreed that it was time to do something about it. So we scheduled me for a LAVH/BSO. I opted to lose the ovaries also due to my age and the possiblity of problems in the future.

Once scheduled I also began to question my decison. Was I doing the right thing, was it really that bad, was it going to hurt more than the pain i was already in, and so on. I also worried about all the problems that can occur from surgery.

WELL, I had my surgery last week, and I now feel so much better. I had not really recoginized how much pain I really was in beforehand, and now my quality of life is so much improved even being only 10 days out of surgery. As you have herad from so many the waiting is the worse part; and it truly is.

As you can see, we all come her with our own stories, we are all shre the same worries and concerns. It is very normal to be having the feelings that you are having.

Sorry for such a long post.

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Unread 03-09-2002, 03:06 PM
I feel like an IDIOT! (very long, sorry)

Lots of great replys here, but I'll add my $.02 anyway!

First, I'm sure you know this, but you're NOT an idiot, and your concerns are similar to what we all go through. That thought alone helped me!

1 - I was not in "lots of pain" afterward. Only really had one brief time of being in what I'd call real pain, and they gave me morphine that fixed it fast. I would call most of what I've felt uncomfortable, rather than pain.

2 - I think we all fear not waking up - it's normal..it's also very very unusual to actually have happen.

3 - Same answer as #2

Talk to your doctor or, especially with #2, an anesthesiologist at your hospital about these fears.

4 - Depending on how old your kids are, you may need someone to help you care for them for awhile afterward.

5 - OOH - Gas. Dealing with it was one of the biggest fears I had. I don't know if it's 'cause all your organs are getting moved all around or what, but it takes awhile to be able to pass gas,b ut is important to get your systems moving (no pun intended). I think what's so hard is this is the first thing you have to do that puts a little stress on the surgical area, so it's scary - you're afraid to push too hard, or that it will hurt. It's really not that bad, and gets a bit easier every time!

And major surgery IS a big deal - when people tell you that, they either don't understand or are trying to make you less worried. Unfortunately, it can feel like they are discounting your fears.

Hang in there!
Unread 03-09-2002, 03:30 PM
I feel like an IDIOT! (very long, sorry)

Oops - My link to my story wasn't right - this should be correct!
Unread 03-09-2002, 03:36 PM
I feel like an IDIOT! (very long, sorry)

Sorry, everyone..one more attempt to get my story link right!

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