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8 days and no spport 8 days and no spport

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Unread 03-10-2002, 07:36 AM
8 days and no spport

I have 8 days left until I enter the hospital for a laps hist with removal of my right cancer ovary. The left ovary and the cervex will remain in tact unless the left ovary shows some problems. I have been in constant # 8 pain since September. They did a lapsc operation in Dec and removed endom on right ovary an adhesion as well as cleaning up the fibroids in my uterus. It was after Christmas that they told me my right ovary came back questionable. My doctor suggested removal. It was also after I told my husband this that he suggested we divorce. He told me I was not their for him in September when he was having trouble at work.
So as I enter the count down to surgery, I am alone and scared. I am wondering if i will have the same sexual feelings and arousals as before? Will I be a horomonal mess? Will I snap at the kids? Will another man finds me exciting( as my husband told me that I would not be a woman after this surgery)?

Thank you to all that respond as I am feeling very low at this point in time.The kids are great even my 22yr old step daughter and 16 yr old son , and my 8yr old who is very nuturing and caring. The 22yr old and 16 yr.old are taking me to the hospital.
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Unread 03-10-2002, 07:42 AM
8 days and no spport

I am so very sorry you don't have any support from your husband. I am actually shocked that anyone could say something like that. I hope he changes his feelings about you and the surgery. In the meanwhile, you do have your children who seem very willing to help you. Maybe you can lean on them until you are up and about again? Big and, again, I am sorry your DH isn't being supportive!

TAH/BSO 3/13
Unread 03-10-2002, 07:49 AM
8 days and no spport

hi.. Jennifer..

I am sorry you are feeling down right now!! I will be ing for you and your situation.. Hopefully your husband will realize what he is putting you through and will change his ways!!

Please e-mail me if you need to talk!!
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Unread 03-10-2002, 08:03 AM
You can do it!!!

Hi Jennifer,

I go in tomorrow for my TAH/BSO/Gall Bladder removal. I am a divorced mom with 11 yr.old twins and an 8 yr. old. I'm pretty nervous about surgery, but happy that it will finally be done!
I was given a month to prepare and I'm so thankful that I was able to find this site at that time. It's been so helpful and supportive.

I've read a lot of DH being there and taking care of things while their wives are recovering - sometimes it makes me sad that I don't have that, but I do have ME and I can feel/do/act however I want. I want to feel positive and be strong and heal perfectly!

I live on a small island and my family is in So. Cal - my Mom will be here for two weeks, then I'm on my own again.

Remember you can only take one day at a time - be positive and know that you can do it! Take charge of your life - and don't let 'him' bring you down!!

You will always be a woman and from the majority of the threads I've read, sex will be the same (maybe better). If you husband thinks you won't be a 'woman' anymore - I recommend you find one who will! I know it's tough with so much going on - just take care of yourself right now and worry about other things later

Many hugs and keep writing!!!
Unread 03-10-2002, 08:05 AM
8 days and no spport

Hi, Jennifersk -

Sounds like you're having a rough time - I send my hugs, too! I really suggest you read as much as you can on this web site. You'll find a lot of support here. It sounds like you have wonderful children who will be there for you - I know that when my mother had a hysterectomy (I was a teenager), my brother and I helped her through it. I remember reading to her and getting things for her after she got home from the hospital. If you have other relatives, co-workers, neighbors, friends, chuch members, or any other people close to you, talk to them - maybe they can help give you the support you need right now.

Don't buy into what you are being told - of COURSE you'll be a woman after this surgery - being a woman is WAY more than our reproductive organs - it is our entire being - our personality and abilities and sense of self!!

And being scared is normal - most of us were scared before the surgery. Hang in there - we're rooting for you!!!
Unread 03-10-2002, 11:43 AM
8 days and no spport

Jennifer,sweetie.. your current DH sounds a lot like my ex..sorry to say there are a few of them out there..

current DH has been around 20 years, a miracle if you ask me,especially since I was not a peach to live with for about the past 6 or 7 years,with all this reproductive organ mess..

I snap LESS..in fact,everyone is amazed,I have not yelled at all since I have been home..happy to say my almost nonexistent sex drive is in roaring overtime,don't quite know how hubby will manage it..he says he guesses he'll have to suffer thru it

You do have your kids,and they can be great,and very compassionate..(side note to JillB,I have 11 year old twins as well)
Let them take care of as much as they can!! Mine said it was a kind of funny feeling to be helping me out,but they figured it was about par for all the years I had helped them out.. I was surprised at how careful my usually blundering 20 year old son was around me,plus,he was a really strong arm to lean on,literally,it was a nice realization..

As for not being a woman,well,I could say a few words here,which would be censored out..you're a woman no matter what,even if you were bald,breastless,legless and armless,your soul is a womans,and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise..

maybe your DH is just being a panicked poopyhead,and he'll come to his senses..you're in everyones thoughts,hun..
Unread 03-10-2002, 01:46 PM
8 days and no spport

Hi . I just had to reply to you. This site has given me so much support that I wasn't getting from my husband. I have read many many questions,stories etc. and it has helped me more than anything. I won't have any help when I get home for the first few days and then my children , aged 11 and 8 will be on Spring break for a week. Any way , I just wanted you to know that up until this past week , my husband has also been a "poopyhead"
( I like that name) . I would have to ask him to give me a hug because he acted like I had some kind of plague , BUT with only a week to go , he is starting to come around. He's even admitted that he would be scared. He even straightened the kitchen a little today ( shock !!). I haven't felt like doing the pre hospital cleaning and I figure if I don't that's ok, It'll be here when I feel like it.
Maybe he is just scared also and he'll come around in time.I don't know why some men have to say such mean things. If things don't work out for you two , there is someone out there for you!!! I have heard that so many men tell their wives that no one would want them , etc. but that just isn't true.
I will say a prayer for you to get the needed support you deserve.
Keep in touch with this site . I read all the good reports and try to dodge any negitive ones just to keep a positive outlook.
Best Wishes to you
Unread 03-10-2002, 04:11 PM
8 days and no spport

Dear Jennifer,
You don't need a husband to get through this. Try to put aside all your anger and disapointment in your husbands behavior for now.
When you get home after your hospital stay, cuddle up on the couch with the eight year old and watch tv, read and snooze. The couch is your throne for the next few weeks! Set up your kingdom! Set up a TV tray close by with all your necessary stuff, pain meds, a candle, water, hand lotion, nail file, a stack of magazines, ect. Send the bigger kids to the store for supplies, easy food stuff and forget about all housework!
Good luck and keep us posted.

LAVH/BSO for endo: Feb 14
Unread 03-10-2002, 05:30 PM
8 days and no spport

Dear Jennifer,

Welcome to Hystersisters - I'm glad that you found us and hope that we can answer any questions or concerns that you might have about your surgery.

I'm so sorry that your husband asked you for a divorce at this time in your life, and wish that things could be different for you right now.

Please believe that being a woman is not dependant upon having a uterus, cervix, or ovaries. You are much more than a bunch of body parts. You have a personality, a spirit, a soul that makes you a woman, and that cannot be taken away by any kind of surgery or any remarks.

Your children sound wonderful, and will be there for you, even if your husband is not. He is the one who will lose out in all of this, not you.

Please let us all know how you are.



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