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Is it just me or DO MEN JUST DON"T GET IT? Is it just me or DO MEN JUST DON"T GET IT?

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Unread 03-17-2002, 10:08 AM

Hi there Lena

I can not relate to the "not understanding" thing. I have a bf, we live together. He may not understand all the aspects of this surgery "I may not either" for that matter. However, he was totally sympathetic to my needs. Even past my 6 weeks checkup he refused to let me lift heavy items or do to much. He read "on this site" bless his heart, about the fact it could take almost a year to fully recover. Which in his mind was for me to take it easy and not make myself warn out.

It is hard for men to not be able "to fix what is wrong" My bf would get upset when i could not sleep due to pain. Watching me get in and out of bed just pained him so much. I almost felt more sorry for him than worrying about myself

I think my BF's first reality was when i came out of recovery into my room. I looked like i was in a head on train wreck. He felt so sorry for me and was so attentive. Seeing you after your surgery could wake him up some. Men are very vissual creatures. Seeing is believing and understanding for them.

He very well may not know how to handle the whole thing. Women seem to be the glue in the house hold that keeps the family running smoothly and fuctioning. Men have a hard time understanding how to even do our jobs at home.

Lena I would not be surprised if your DH "like many others" shocked there wifes and rose to the occation when the time came. It very well could sink in when faced with it head on. Try to not stress to much about it. Ask him if he has any questions you might be able to help him with or have him make a personal list for your Dr. I am sure the Dr "with your permission" would be happy to talk with him. My ob/gyn was happy to talk to my bf. One more thing. Your postop instructions for care after you leave the castle. Make sure he reads them and understands them. This can help as well.

I wish you the best with your upcoming surgery and hope you have an uneventful smooth recovery

Take care

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Unread 03-17-2002, 10:10 AM
Is it just me or DO MEN JUST DON"T GET IT?

My DH has been so great too. And you are right they do not like to see us hurting cuz they cannot fix this..and it bothers them My DH told me the hardest thing he has done is watch me go into that operating room and he could not go with me and anything that happened to me was beyond his control. In a way it is good for them to see us go thru this cuz it gives them more appreciation for us..I no that I don't get taken for granted anymore for what I do. But then I am only 3 1/2 weeks post op so we'll see how it goes when I get to get back to my normal life.
Unread 03-18-2002, 05:10 PM
Is it just me or DO MEN JUST DON"T GET IT?

Mikki Jo, I can do you one better! We have friends that twin brothers married twin sisters, I swear! I'm not making this up!
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Unread 03-20-2002, 02:17 AM
web site

I wanted to thank you for sending the web site address for!!! I am into medical things like surgery, it is very graphic, but NOW I know what my body went thru and understand more of WHY I hurt so much. I just had my TVH on 3/5/02 with rectocele and cystocele. Even if you don't show your squimish DH or DBF. It is something I think you should look at when you are wondering why all the pain and discomfort. Thats JMHO. Again Thank you!


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