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Unread 03-17-2002, 08:20 AM
Need a Hugg


I am about to go out of my mind. My DH took me out for a nice romantic dinner last night, arranging child care and everything. He is trying to keep me occupied to help with the nerves. Problem is I can hardly carry on a conversation. My mind keeps wandering to all the things I want to get done before my stay at the castle.

I can't sleep at night. I keep having dreams about death, my own and others. I am having my PMS right now so that doesn't help. I started tearing up last night after we got home and my little girl
(2 yoa) started rubbing my face and telling me it's okay. That really set off the water works.

I'm exhausted from not getting enough sleep. I am having almost constant pain from the prolapse and rectocele. I can't go to the bathroom (#1 or 2) without it hurting but I am having second thoughts about the surgery (3-26-02). Am I doing the right thing? I can't take it back once it's done. What if I don't wake up?

I was feeling kind of okay until my Mom gave me a newspaper article to read. A local girl (mid-20's) had a hysterectomy, went home, then returned to the hospital and died, all within a week. She had developed a staph infection. I don't know why Mom felt that she should show this to me but the terror of surgery has now officially set in.

Any suggestions for nerves? I've tried hasn't helped but it sure has depleted the checkbook!!

Thanks for listening
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Unread 03-17-2002, 09:10 AM
Need a Hugg

Dear Linda,

Here are lots of 's for you. I'm so sorry that the article scared you - I'm sure that your mom didn't mean to scare you, but was just worried herself about what might happen.

I'm not a medical professional, and this is just a guess, but wouldn't there have been some sign of infection? Maybe your mom wanted you to read the article so that you would recognize signs of infection and call the doctor if you had any sign of infection afterwards.

One thing that you can do right away ( or at least tomorrow morning) is to call your doctor and tell him that you need something for the anxiety. You need to be as rested as possible before going into the castle.

Please also talk to him about the article and tell him that you are very concerned, especially if it is the same hospital that you will be going to. He should be able to put your mind at ease concerning what happened.

Your DH sounds like a very supportive husband, and your little girl is just precious!!

As to whether you should have the surgery - that will have to be your own decision, but believe me, prolapses do not get better or go away on their own!! I finally had my hyst for the same reasons - uterine and rectal and bladder prolapses. I do not regret it, and wish that I had done it sooner.

One thing, if you don't already have one, buy a donut pillow. You will need that to sit on for your ride home from the castle and for a few weeks aafterwards. It will relieve the pressure on the rectocele repair.

Please call your doctor and ask for something to help you relax and sleep and let me know how you are doing. I will be keeping you in my prayers.


Unread 03-17-2002, 10:21 AM
Need a Hugg

Dear Linda,

I second what Karen has just said. I, too, had the entire works prolapsing and it only gets worse with time. But believe me, after the surgery and recovery period, you will feel so much better! I'm now 6 wks. post-op and feel so much better than I did pre-op! You are doing the right thing - we all have gone thru second guessing.

I found that sticking to my normal routine, focusing on other things (like my children), helped reduce my anxiety a lot. I drank a lot of Sleepy Time tea the week before my surgery to help relax me. But being nervous is prefectly normal.

I found that being pro-active in my care also help me feel more in control of what would happen. I'm a "control freak" in a lot of respects, so that's they way I overcame a lot of those feelings you described.

I wish you all the best, hang in there! It will be over before you know it. Then you can enjoy the new you!

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Unread 03-17-2002, 11:04 AM
Need a Hugg

Linda, First off
Now, Most of us are scared. ANd a lot of us have those death dreams. I've had 3 since I found out I would need surgery 3 weeks ago. I'm not sleeping the best either. Worry, feeling rushed(but too tired to get much done[I'm anemic along with becoming hypothyroid]),scared of complications , scared I'll die and leave my husband to pick up the pieces.
When I go for pre-op next week, I plan on asking my doctor for something to relax me for at least the last few days before surgery. Mines scheduled for Apr 2.
I agree with what the others have told you. This is scary and it will take time for recuperation. Anytime you go to a medical establishment you risk a staph infection. Be sure to look for a fever and festering or undue pressure in the area. My husband got one when he had the pin taken out of his finger after he had it put back together. He called as soon as he suspected something was wrong and they got on it right a way. He was fine. BUT most people I know who have had surgery, have never gotten a staph infection. In fact my husband is the only one I know personally.
I'll be thinking of you....well not on Apr 2 but I will on Apr 3rd
Unread 03-17-2002, 11:10 AM
Need a Hugg

Ok I had second thoughts right up till I was on the or table. Than I just said heck with it jsut knock me out now and the next thing I woke up in recovery. Telling you now that the rest of that day into the next morning isn't a pice of cake. but you can take it just keep pushing that little pain button.. Me I kept loosing it I would pump it than fall asleep and when Iwoke I just couldn't find it. OH and do not let them try to talk you into eating jello that first day.. Mine came back up. Did not eat any more of that stuff while I was in the castle. The day after surgery you will feel a little out of it but that is when you get out of bed and walk and drink water. You will do fine.. janet
total hister
march 12th.
Unread 03-17-2002, 12:08 PM
Need a Hugg


Here's your and here's another , and well, here's one more

I think we ALL go through that "what if" period before our surgery and you know what? It is perfectly've never experienced any of this and it IS scary.

I can only offer you my experiences. I was SO scared, I had anxiety attacks, I had written letters to DH and mom in case I didn't make it through the surgery, I had the bad nightmares...the whole pre anxiety phase.

I can tell you, for me, the waiting was the WORSE part of the hyst!!!! I came out of it in my room and said "this is it? this is what I was SOOOO freaked out about?" LOL

I agree with Karen, please call your Dr and let him/her know about how this is affecting you. Ask how many of the cases he/she had done and if there were any signs/symptoms of infection...these are all questions the Dr will be more than happy to answer for you to ease your mind.

Why not stop into the Chat Room. There are WONDEFUL ladies like yourself that can offer you 'real time' hugs anytime you need them.

Please keep us posted on how you're doing, and again, please stop by to Chat.

Love and Great BIG 's
Unread 03-17-2002, 01:18 PM
Need a Hugg

More hugs and support for you from me!!

Being scared is normal - it really is! And so is the fear of not waking up from anesthesia. For me, just realizing that helped some. Keep your mind on the postive, but realise it's ok to be scared.

At my pre-op, I talked to an anesthesiologist at the hospital. He really helped my nerves by telling me that complications from anesthesia (whether general or spinal) are VERY low. I What happened to that woman in the article is also very uncommon.

You know, there's risk in everything we do in life. I think that because we have all heard those rare horror stories, and because this is NOT part of our normal routine, we blow our fears out of proportion to what the risks really are. Call the hospital and see if you can speak to an anesthesiologist, or talk to your dr.

Sounds like you have a wonderful husband, and maybe you could gently ask Mom not to give you any more negative stories, but to maybe look for some good ones! And read all the good ones on this site - that'll balance things.

Everyone's had great advice - just hang in there, and you'll be ok!
Unread 03-17-2002, 01:27 PM
Need a Hugg

risk of infection is so scary... I talked to my doc about it and he is giving me antibotics just before, during and shortly after surgery.... ask your doc about about it....
best wishes
Unread 03-18-2002, 03:02 AM
Thanks for the hugs

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say thank you for all the encouragement and advice. I think I will give the doc a call and see if I can get something to at least help me sleep.

Thank you all again for the love and support. I really did appreciate it. You ladies are true 's

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