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Unread 03-20-2002, 12:17 PM

I need to know if I am over reacting. My husband discussed my health and obviously my hormones with a business client. I have repeated ly asked him not to discuss this with anyone. If I want them to know I will tell them. When I went to the client office to make a delivery the client that my husband talked introduced me as hormonally imbalanced woman to everyone in the office. I am mad at my husband for betraying my trust when we have had this discussion before about him needing to keep his mouth shut. Now i can not stop crying because I feel I can not trust and can never talk to him again and I feel humnilated and embaressed. ps I have been on the gels for about 3 wks. I wonder if I am getting too much estrogen because of the crying and some breast tenderness and not enough progesterone. or is it the other way around or am I justedifed in being very upset.
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Unread 03-20-2002, 12:50 PM

Hi, I'm sorry you feel your trust is being betrayed. I know how that feels. My BF has talked with his mother and his best friend about my hormonal issues. At first I was hurt but then I started turning it around and making a joke about it, and it turns out both his mom and friend have been very supportive to me since then. I know it might be hard, but can you try to make it seem like you find it humorous? What helped me the most was a comic strip that was in the paper recently, in "Baby Blues". Don't know if you're familiar with the strip but the mom is pregnant with her third child. She was upset one day, I forget if it said about what, and her husband made some comment to her about it being "just hormones". She said no, and then the next frame shows him lying on his back on the floor, seeing stars, and she is saying "THAT's hormones!!!" I showed that to my BF and from then on it's been great. Hey, I wonder if you could find the strip on line?
It's hard for guys to know when we're reacting because of hormones and when it's a legitimate issue. At least your DH is trying to accept the whole hormone thing. I don't think you are overreacting, you are entitled to feel that way. Try to understand how it is for him when you are going through all these experiences that are completely foreign to him. No matter how hard he tries he can't really relate. My advice, for whatever it's worth, is to try to let it pass this time and see if humor might help, because that might open the door to having a more productive conversation about how you feel later on.
Good luck and s,
- Linda
Unread 03-20-2002, 04:27 PM

It's very hard for them to understand all this as they have no first-hand experience with it, same as any woman whose never had a hormonally challenged day in her life would just think that we were overreacting. Still..........I understand you being furious and upset over this, I would be too! Try explaining in a calm quiet moment that there is an adjustment period with these hormones and it could take up to 3 months.........and in that time you will need a lot of understanding, hugs and tell him go easy on the jokes and betraying your trust! Tell him how hard this is and that not everyone feels this way but most women have some kind of struggle until they adjust and the ones that don't admit it are either not very sensitive to hormone changes or are not being honest about their feelings. Why many women aren't honest about this is for the VERY reason that you are upset......because other people find it amusing and do not fully understand the impact of this upon an individual. If that doesn't work then perhaps get your doctor to explain to him what all this is about, that's as long as your doctor is not one who thinks they can throw you a pill and you'll be fine overnight
Take care and anytime you need to vent come here........because we understand
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Unread 03-21-2002, 07:00 AM

Sorry that your hubby has you all upset. You might be more emotional because of the estrogen, and should talk with your doctor about it.
One thing I would like to point out. At least your husband is interested in you enough to discuss your hormonal issues with you. Is it possible that he needs to talk to someone about what is going on with you? Perhaps if that is the case there is some friend that is not a work associate that he could confide in and that you would not feel betrayed.
I would like to recommend a book for your husband that might help him to understand what you are going through and also give him some support for where he fits in to all of it. It is called "No it's Not Hot in Here, a Husbands guide to understanding Menopause" by **** Roth.
I hope this helps some

Becky in OHIO

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