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why does this surgery scare me why does this surgery scare me

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Unread 03-24-2002, 02:31 PM
why does this surgery scare me

i have had several major surgeries and came through great but i find i am absolutely terrified of having this one. it's no that i want children. mine are grown up and i am content with that but i am scared to death help!!!!
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Unread 03-24-2002, 02:39 PM
why does this surgery scare me


I think most of us are terrified of this surgery. It's major surgery, it's our most private parts being removed, it somehow threatens our femininity and our sense of being female, I think. Before surgery, I used to say "I wouldn't care if this was my gallbladder they were removing ... I'm not emotionally attached to my gallbladder. Take the darn thing." But it was different, because it was my uterus and that is where my daughter began her life. My uterus was part of my pleasure during sex ... what would that be like afterwards? I had an emotional attachement to my reproductive system! These were my fears, my anxieties.

At four months post op, I can tell you that sex is just fine ... and there's no pain now, so really it is better! I did feel sad for a few weeks after surgery, thinking that this really had closed a chapter in my life (even though we had no plans for more children). But the sadness is gone now because I feel better than I have in years.

I think your feelings and fears are completely normal. Keep reading and posting ... you'll find that you have a lot in common with other ladies here. Best of luck to you. We'll be with you, every step of the way.

Unread 03-24-2002, 02:44 PM
I feel the same way.......

I know just how you are feeling! My surgery is coming up on Wednesday and I am terrified.:cry: I also have had several other surgeries and had no problems. I don't know why this one is scaring me so much. I have 2 beautiful children and had a tubal almost 10 years ago so I don't want anymore. I just keep trying to tell myself that I know I will feel soooo much better once this is over with.
Just wanted you to know that you are not alone in how you are feeling. I will be thinking about you and hope all goes well with your surgery.
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Unread 03-24-2002, 02:47 PM
why does this surgery scare me

I wish I had the answer to your question..... I had never had surgery at all before so I had no idea what to expect. I think I just had alot of confidence in my doctor who is so wonderful, that I felt like I was in good hands and I knew I was making the right decision for me. Plus if it was the solution to alot of my medical problems, then a few weeks of not being able to do alot, was worth it to me. I went into it with a positive attitude and found out that it was not at all as bad as I expected. I would do it again tomorrow because now I feel wonderful and an awful period doesnt rule my life anymore.
Hope you will have great success with your surgery and that you will too feel much better in the near future!
Unread 03-24-2002, 04:47 PM
why does this surgery scare me

Hi Connie,
I feel the SAME way you do. Exactly. I've had my gallbladder out and countless other surgeries. Sign me up! Sure, when do you want me there? But THIS, now THIS is different. I am still waiting for my date in mid-late April and I'll tell you, everytime my phone rings I jump, thinking its the docs office. I don't have kids, had my tubes tied 2 years ago, so its not that......and its not like I can SEE my inside parts, say, in a way that a man can see his reproductive organs. I cannot put my finger on it either but I am NOT looking forward to this. It's major, it's permanent, it's forever but there are great reasons to do it. The pain is unreal and it has caused so many problems in my life, for 20 years now. I realize that going on HRT is going to be inconvenient at first, with the trial and error phase.........but it will be worth it.

I have a TERRIFIC hubby (who just so happens to be a nurse!) who I know will take great care of me. I am the type who gets very antsy when laying still for too long so he already told me the pillow police will be in full force!

Keep us posted, remember we are here!

Lisa in Connecticut
lady in waiting.................almost ready!
Unread 03-24-2002, 05:21 PM
why does this surgery scare me

Mine is tomorrow and I'm a wreck. I, too don't want any more children (I had my tubes tied 19 years ago), but this is different. Don't know why... I hope all the best for you.
Unread 03-24-2002, 08:10 PM

I just wanted to add that I'm feeling more and more anxious as my surgery day arrives. I agree with the other posters that, as women, we are emotionally invested with our reproductive organs, whether we were able to use them or not. We have been in tune (or out of tune) with our uterus since we were children...I was eleven when I started my period. Its been my companion, for better or worse, for 34 years. It has reminded me of its existence at least every 28 days since then. I'm not so sure I'd call it my friend, but it has always been mine. I was able to have one beautiful daughter, my masterpiece, and for that, I am supremely thankful. Maybe it has been my friend....and I will say goodbye in a few short days. My prayers with all my sisters heading towards their surgery. God Bless.

Unread 03-24-2002, 09:47 PM
Why does this surgery scare me?

I understand how you feel. I too am a nurse. I fully understand the mechanics behind the surgery. All the medical mumbo-jumbo. I have had other surgeries, ( myomectomy and tubal ligation 13 yrs ago, just to mention the biggies). I have done everything I can to hold onto this uterus for the past 14 years. I still don't have pain from the fibroids, but they do keep me anemic. I am beginning to wake up at night with anxiety about having something growing in me that could turn bad at anytime (hydronephrosis from pressing ureters, or a hemorragic emergency from flooding). But I think what truly scares me about the surgery is wondering what impact it will have on my life. What will I be like after the surgery? Will I become menopausal early, even with keeping the ovaries. Will I experience thinning of hair? Will I lose interest in sex? Will I gain a lot of weight? Will I age prematurely? Will I have emotional problems? All of these things are complaints of women I know who have had the surgery? So I wonder will it became me too. My girlfriend (who has not had the surgery), says each woman is different, and I may not experience what others did. I have decided to take care of my health by having the surgery, pray, and utilize whatever help is out there, for what ever problem may pop up after the surgery.
Unread 03-25-2002, 03:31 AM
why does this surgery scare me

I don't have any magic words that will help, because I felt the same way. I too had my tubes tied several years before surgery, but this is so final. I can offer a big hyster though to ease your pain. We are all here for you, please come visit us in chat, we just love company.

Best wishes
Unread 03-25-2002, 05:34 AM
why does this surgery scare me

I am a nurse too and knew the medical part of the surgery. I think the worst part was the unknown. Will I recover, will I feel different, will I look different etc.
I can only say I took time to get ready, did my homework, talked with my Dr. got in great physical shape, ate well, and planned everything down to the anesthesia.
I am now 13 days post op and feel great! In fact I never felt bad, just tired. I zipped thru the castle, I was discharged early and have recovered easily.
Please turn to your internal wisdom, use your feminine powers and know that you are making the right decisions for the right reasons. Then visualize the entire process going perfectly from beginning to end...... you will amaze yourself!

Best wishes

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