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Surgery getting close and I am scared!! Surgery getting close and I am scared!!

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Unread 04-06-2002, 08:50 AM
Surgery getting close and I am scared!!

Hi ladies, My surgery is getting close it is this coming Friday, I am scared out of my wits.I feel like running away,:run3: My DH has not been real nice to me either, he has done a complete 360 on me. When he first found out about my surgery he was so caring and done everything for me, now the closer it gets to time for me to go to the castle the worse he is getting, One minute he is sweet as he can he , the next he is like the:devil:
Any advice ladies?? My nerves are shot.
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Unread 04-06-2002, 09:03 AM
Surgery getting close and I am scared!!

I am not sure about any good advice....but heres a hug!! I can DH doesn't talk about my upcoming surgery much...which is what leads me here every day!! I am lucky to have my mom, who understands and is so supportable. I think my DH thinks I will be back to normal when I get home....funny--but he had a colonoscopy last June and wow--he needed babying for 2 days!! He has heard so many stories about hysterctomies that I am excusing him from his "non chalant" behavier due to him being nervous for me too--hopefully he will be a little more caring when I get home! I can understand your fears and do feel the surgery is the 16th! I will be thinking of you this week and please post when you get home and are feeling up to it!
Unread 04-06-2002, 10:29 AM
Surgery getting close and I am scared!!

Yes, I think the husbands are nervous and stressed, too, but don't want to show it. They may not want you to know how worried they are, so it seems they don't care. Remind them that they will be getting an improved, revised edition of their wife after the recovery period! I hope they will be able to pamper you royally when you get home, and they see you're going to be fine. s and best wishes!
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Unread 04-06-2002, 10:32 AM

from me to you......remember for you the wait is almost over. I will be a basket case the week before I know that for a fact, but just think next week at this time you will be all done. In two weeks you will be up and around at home

My hubby doesnt talk about it either I think he is secretly terrified and has no idea what to expect. We hug alot and I cry when alone as not to flip him out. Remember he loves you and will be there for you when its over.

And we are here for you now....lots of love, hugs and prayers. The wait is almost over.....God Bless~

Unread 04-06-2002, 10:42 AM
Surgery getting close and I am scared!!

I think they are just as scared as we are. My fiance (to be my DH next year) stayed up crying all last Saturday night while I snored!! (isn't it supposed to be the other way around???) He is now talking about golfing next weekend!! I think he's just lost his mind right about now!! He is very positive in the sense that he feels I will be better for having the surgery -- he has seen a great decline in my quality of life since all of my problems started -- and he is looking forward to things being sooo much better!! I hope so too !!! Best of luck to you!!

Unread 04-06-2002, 11:39 AM
ooops I made a Boo Boo,lol

Hi Ladies thanks for the responces but I made a mistake in my post,lol My Pre-opt is this coming Friday,lol my surgery is the 16th. I guess when I posted I was just so upset at my DH I wasn't thinking clearly. So sorry, but anywho. My DH must have had time to think about all that was said and he has been totally different than this morning, I think you all are right he is just scared and nervous for me. Plus I have no insurance and I have to put $500 down before they will do my surgery, thank the lord it isn't a Hyster just lap,laser and a D&C the surgery will cost me $1000.00 but I was informed I may qualify for a spend down card. I am gonna call Monday and talk to someone about getting it. Dont know if I will have to wait until after the surgery to bring all my hospital and Dr. bills in when I go, I really appreciate all the kind words from my sisters, I will most likely be having a hyster though, I have to much going on inside not to, but hey that is ok with me. I have the only 2 children I want and I have had a tubal so I cant have anymore anyway,lol Thanks and big 's to you all.I will let you know how my pre-opt goes as soon as I get home, but I will be back on here before surgery I am sure I will need more advice.
Misty †
Unread 04-06-2002, 12:49 PM
Surgery getting close and I am scared!!

Hi, I am 3 months post TAH and just thought that I would share my experience with my DH. Pre-op, he really didn't know what to do with me. I was calm and organized one minute and a nasty complaining wreck the next. I sat him down about 3 days proir and explained to him what I thought I was going to need from him in the coming weeks. We did much better after this conversation. We were both sailing into unchartered waterss, but my hystersisters helped me to navigate through. Most of what I figured that I would need, came from the advice from all my hyster sisters here on this web site. Turns out the whole experience has brought me and my DH closer together. He was right there beside me, and I felt very comfortable telling him what I needed. I had the love & support of my parents and sister too. Despite all the help from my DH, it was by girlfriends, sister and Mom who anticipated my needs and got me through. Here's the things that I found to be most valuable.
1. Slip on slippers! Don't laugh! You can't bend over for quite a while. Also ended up sending my sister to the store to buy two "nicer" warm up outfits with elastic waists. The jeans just would not go over the swelly belly.
2. I took a laxative the night before and pushed losts of water the days before. I did not want any trouble in that area. My doctor told me to do this. She said that her job would be easier without a full bowel to work around. Also took a stool softener each evening for about 4 days post surgery. Believe me, you don't feel like pushing. Took extra vit c for healing.
3. Everytime some friend or neighbor heard about my upcoming hyster, they said the ususal, "If there's anything I can do..." And to each I replied, "Make a casserole for my freezer?" One thing that I did not feel like doing was standing to cook. Fast food only goes so far and I don't need the fat and calories. I had some of the most wonderful meals that just had to be thrown in the micro or oven to heat. And the soups! I think that there is still one more container in the freezer! I had everythring from matza ball soup to pasta fasule. It gave my friends something to do, and made me feel so cared for.
4. Got a manicure and pedicure 2 days prior. If you can't afford it, at least cut your toe nails real short. I couldn't bend that far for a while.
5. Cleaned the heck out of my house! This got rid of my nervous energy and I did not have to lay around watching the dust and wishing I could clean post op. I neglected to wash my bedspread, and it's amazing how you notice how dirty something is when you lie down on it 3 times a day!
6. Walk, walk, walk. Even when it hurts. Not far, but it kept everything moving.
7.Put a stack of thankyou notes, stamps and the address book on your night stand.
8. Coughing and sneezing hurt. I used a little pillow to press on my swelly belly and never made a move without my bottle of water, it helped to stop the urge to cough.
8. Pray, I asked for courage for me, wisdom for my doctors, patience for my DH and I still thank my God that they didn't find any cancer.
9. I am so glad to have had the surgery. No pain, no bleeding, no sore breasts, now I'm working on the hot flash remedy, heading back to the post op for this.
Good luck!
Unread 04-06-2002, 01:44 PM
Surgery getting close and I am scared!!

I can relate to being afraid, I was the biggest baby before my surgery. I have no significant other so I relied on my parents and even though I tried to stay calm I cried all the way to the hospital. The wait is the worse, I never got sick from my surgery and I never had to take alot of pain killers. The first day goes by pretty quick and then you just get up (with help of course) and start moving, your body and mind kind of just kicks in and says lets get to the recovery part. Good Luck and you'll be in the prayers of many.
Unread 04-06-2002, 01:50 PM
Surgery getting close and I am scared!!

I don't think anyone was more scared than I was! In fact I tensed up on the table for the O2 mask!

It gets really frustrating I'm sure when your hubby isn't around or supportive. I know that I couldn't have done the surgery without mine. I cried and cried each day, I only had 7 days notice, and he just held me and told me that he loved me. Awwwwwwwwwww how sweet huh? Well, he was supportive the morning of, drove me there and stayed with me till they wheeled me into the OR. He was there when I came out of surgery in my room, waiting for me. I was so scared that I told him he could get married if something happened to me. He's young, 37 and can have more babies, etc. I must have looked like a crazy woman to him! But then again, I did this before each kiddo and every surgery since.

Chapstick, pull on pj pants and my pillow from home were the things I used the most in the castle.

Unread 04-06-2002, 02:01 PM
Hang in there!

Hi, Misty--

I haven't had my surgery yet either so I can't help you there. But I hope I can reassure you about DH's reactions. There was another thread about one ladies DH's differing responses--one time he'd be one way, another time, he'd be different.

I really believe men just handle things differently from women. That makes it doubly hard for us to understand them--we just aren't like them! I'll bet your hubby is concerned and worried and just really wants the best for you plus many more years with you. When they begin to think life isn't going to turn out that way, sometimes they have strange ways (to women) of showing it--really quiet, denial. I'm sure he'd give anything to have you healthy again!

I just had to respond to this thread for another reason--I've been hanging around this site for quite a while now. Have done TONS of reading, and I must say some of the responses here are some of the nicest I think I've read.

Aren't we fortunate to have Hystersisters?

I wish you patient waiting and a good recovery, Misty!

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