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I miss my dad....... I miss my dad.......

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  #1  
Unread 04-09-2002, 10:32 PM
I miss my dad.......

This site has been so wonderful for me... The gals helped me through all my pre worries, and my post woe's.... At 2 1/2 weeks post I lost my father to pancreatic cancer. And even when I had to fly to his bedside so very far away, the sisters posted support and prayers. Today at almost 5 weeks was a good day... But I have had several moments where I have thought "I should call dad and tell him....." and have to remember he is gone. It has been so hard to grieve for him, when I myself am trying to heal. I am only 36 and now am truly an orphan. I lost my mom to breast cancer 15 years ago.... Sometimes it is so hard I don't want to get out of bed. I am torn between recovery and morning. I try to be strong for my DS's and DH, and my sister. But I suffer at night when I feel lonely and alone. And when I ache I don't have daddy to call anymore....I know this may sound selfish, but darn it 61 is to early to die.....I'm so at a loss sometimes, I don't know where to put my emotions. I'm trying to be strong for myself, but in the wee hours of the night/morning, I break down and just have this wave of sadness. I cry, it hurts, physically and emotionally..... I miss him. Thank you for listening, I just needed to vent. And this is the place I feel most comfortable right now....
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  #2  
Unread 04-10-2002, 06:26 AM
I miss my dad.......

(((((Sue)))))

My heart goes out to you at this very difficult time.

As you know, my father is now terminal and not a day goes by that I don't wonder HOW I am ever going to survive losing him when his time comes. He's the one who is ALWAYS there for me, no matter what. He always has encouraging words for me when I need them. I don't think that wanting our fathers to be there makes me or you selfish. Rather, it's a sign of a good and loving father-daughter relationship.

May I suggest that this isn't the time for you to worry about being strong for your family? You are only 5 wks. post and during much of that time you were traveling long distances and coping with not only your own emotions but those of your family during a very sad time. Maybe on those days when you don't feel like getting up it's not just sadness and grief, maybe your body is asking for a bit of extra rest.

Especially if you are not sleeping well, you might want to check in with your doctor, if only to see if you can take something to make sleeping at night a bit easier. I know that I am at my weakest when I'm awake in the middle of the night, feeling completely alone and lonely. Perhaps if you can rest at night you will find a bit more strength to face these hardest of days.

Your heart and body are both aching right now so please, please be gentle with both. Do what you need to do for you, ask your family for their help, and post here any time.

You are in my thoughts and prayers all the time. We all care so very much about you. We will be with you every step of the way as you heal both your heart and body.

(((Hugs))) and lots of love,
Helen
  #3  
Unread 04-10-2002, 07:45 AM
Thank You Helen

Thank you Helen... You are in my thoughts as well... I finally got email again, so I sent you my new email address. You always have such kind and comforting words. I hope I can repay the favor for you when that time comes.
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  #4  
Unread 04-10-2002, 07:19 PM
I miss my dad.......

Oh Susie, I am so sad for your loss. I started coming to hystersisters right when your dad was passing and followed your trials all the way to Alaska and back. You have been through so much and I am sure your family does not expect you to tough it out. You go ahead and cry (I am). I had my surgery on 3/18 and kept my ovaries and I get the weepies all the time. I don't even have to think a sad thought and I'm bawling. With all you have on your plate right now between the surg and your dad you go ahead and cry. You might feel better to let a little bit out too. I am sending you tons of big healing s. You and all your family are in my prayers. Take care honey. It will get better as time goes on. Dosido
  #5  
Unread 04-12-2002, 10:36 PM
{{{Susie}}}

Oh sweetie, I know that ache, too. I have my dad's picture on the wall next to my closet and I say hi to him every morning. I have also gone for the phone and dialed and then remembered. I like to think we just cut out the middle man, the telephone company.

I am comforted when I think that he is happy and safe where he is now. It's a long time between hugs, but I know one day I will get that hug I want. In the meantime, I have my own special guardian angel watching over me.

There is no right way to grieve, Susie. Just do what helps you. And know that we are all here for you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

kaatie
  #6  
Unread 04-13-2002, 01:04 AM
I miss my dad.......

Sending a big to you all. I miss my dad too............... he has been gone about 8 yrs now and I still think of him quite often but I know he is watching over me. xxx

susie... i used to cry most when I was in bed at night as well. You must allow yourself to grieve in whichever way is comfortable. It isnt good to hold it in. much love always xx
  #7  
Unread 04-15-2002, 07:50 AM
I miss my dad.......

I lost my dad several years ago to testicular cancer. I still see an item or book in a store and think, 'dad would love that.' I can't say it gets easier, because it doesn't. But I can think about all the good things I remember about him.

He was 71. On his 70th birthday, he went hanggliding at Kitty Hawk. The August before he died, he went golfing with my 4 brothers and outshot them all. He invented the 'Sledge-o-matic' before Gallagher even thought about it. He raised 4 kids, struck fear into us all, and took in an orphaned squirrel, and made us laugh a lot.

At one family gathering, he was sitting in the back, quietly watching everyone. He stood up quietly and left the room, I thought, to use the bathroom. A while later I looked over and he was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets, a neutral expression on his face... and a HUGE foam rubber cowboy hat on his head, just waiting for us to turn and notice him. Then he stood there and said 'what'?
  #8  
Unread 04-16-2002, 01:59 PM
OH DO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

I LOST MY DAD 2 YEARS AFTER I LOST MY MOM, BOTH OF THEIR PASSING WAS VERY SUDDEN,

SHE WAS 63 AND HE WAS 67, SHE JUST WENT TO SLEEP AND PASSED, NO WARNING NOT SICK, MY DAD DIED PLAYING TENNIS.

I TO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY FEELING LIKE AN ORPHAN, I TO WAS IN MY 30'S. AND WE LIVE ONLY A FEW BLOCKS AWAY FROM WHERE THEY LIVED, SO WE SEEN THEM DAILY,

I HAVE SUFFERED ALSO THE PASSING OF MY VERY YOUNG HUSBAND,[34] IN A CAR CRASH, MY PARENTS PULLED ME AND MY KIDS THROUGH THAT VERY BAD TIME,

I MISS THEM SO BAD, BUT I HAVE TO BE SO STRONG FO MY KIDS, SHOW THEM OK, WELL BE FINE, WHEN REALLY MY INSIDES ARE TWISTED, AND I CAN'T CRY TO THEM BECOUSE I FEEL THEY REALLY LOST THEIR DAD SO EARLY, HE MISSED EVERYTHING IN THEIR LIVES.

THE PAIN YOU FEEL IS SO REAL, IT IS A GREAT LOSS I TO WANT TO GO TO THE PHONE, AND EVEN WHEN I DRIVE NEAR THE OLD HOUSE, SOMETIMES I THINK OH I'LL STOP IN, AND THEN I REMEMBER AND I GET SO UPSET WITH MYSELF, HOW DO I FORGET?

BUT THEN I READ ALL YOU SISTERS WHO DO THE SAME THING, AND THEN I KNOW IT MUST BE NORMAL TO DO THIS,

IT'S UNREAL HOW WE CAN ALWAYS FIND SISTERS WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH THE SAME THINGS, AND HERE WE ARE FOR EACHOTHER, POURING OUR HEARTS OUT, VENTING, CRYING,

AND I FIND IT TO BE SO WONDERFUL, I COULD NEVER OPEN UP AND LET IT ALL OUT TO ANYONE ELSE.I DO KNOW THIS WE HAVE THE BEST ANGELS AROUND US, AND I REALLY FEEL SAFE KNOWING THAT.

s TO ALL
  #9  
Unread 04-18-2002, 05:46 PM
(((((Susie))))))

My heart goes out to you, dear sister!!!! I lost my Daddy nearly 4 years ago, and most days it feels like it just happened. I, like Kaatie, often reach for the phone to ask him a question or ask a favor, then remember he's not there.

About 2 years ago, I found a wonderful site called

http://www.groww.org

that helped me so much in my grieving process. Groww stands for grief recovery online, and the people in the chat rooms are angels here on earth. There are many, many chat rooms with different themes, suicide, parents, children, etc. They have message boards and places where you can "write" a letter to heaven. You will meet men and women of all ages, all grieving the loss of a loved one, yet so willing to send hugs and love to anyone who enters there.

I agree with what everyone else has said about taking care of yourself physically being so early in your recovery; but please consider at least dropping into the main chat room on the Groww site. You don't have to say a word, just pull up a chair and listen, or you can talk, rant, cry, remember, share and you will get nothing but love, compassion and hugs!!! I highly recommend it!!!

May God's warm embrace comfort you during this difficult time.

E-mail me any time, I'll go to the chat room with you if you'd like!!!

Love and hugs, Dear Susie
  #10  
Unread 04-18-2002, 05:58 PM
I miss my dad.......

(((((((((((((((((((((((SUSIE))))))))))))))))))))))))) My heart aches for your pain. I am so very sorry for your loss. When my son was murdered, I did fine during the day while everyone was awake, it was those long hours in the night that caught me. I still drop in those chat rooms on occasion.
PLEASE take care of yourself. This would be a hard time with either the surgery or the loss you are grieving, but with a double whammy, please don't forget to allow yourself to heal. It is ok to lean on others.
You are in my prayers.
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