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6 days and freaking out 6 days and freaking out

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Unread 04-11-2002, 06:35 AM
6 days and freaking out

Okay ladies so now I'm 4 days and not freaking out. The roller coaster. I have such a sense of calm today. I said this yesterday too. This has to be done. I have no options. I spent the last two years trying everything besides this. This is it. I'm only 40 years old with lots of living left to do. I want that to be great living, not the pain, the puddles, the missed days of my life due to the problems this uterus and fibroid are causing.

So, it's got to be done. Yes it's scary, but the way I've been living is misery. From the post - op reports I've read here recovery is not a total picnic but is road to better days........I'm choosing to focus on that. I'm not the only person whose ever had this, just look at post - op board. Many, many woman have gone through this survived and gone on to be happy, healthy productive women. Me too, I'm next!!!! My doc is very experienced and will take excellent care of me. So, I'm in good hands and on the road to feeling better.

I have a choice here, I choose to do what has to be done and be positive about it.
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Unread 04-11-2002, 06:48 AM
Re: 6 days and freaking out

Me too, I'm next!!!! My doc is very experienced and will take excellent care of me. So, I'm in good hands and on the road to feeling better.

I have a choice here, I choose to do what has to be done and be positive about it. ]

hi lisa
that's it in a nutshell. i also was freaking out like i mentioned and like most of seem to be and its so good to know we arent alone. my dr had suggested i get these guided imagery tapes and at the last week i picked them up. part of the process is general relaxation and affirmations, and some of it is actually facing surgery. one very important point was the one u just mentioned. look around at the very competent staff that do this for a living. they do this day in and day out and trained professionals , skilled in what they do and if there ARE complications they know just what to do.... those few words really helped me calm down as i went into the surgery. i put my faith in their skill and in a higher power and before i knew it the sedative kicked in.....
i hope things go well for you. i have a way of facing things by looking at all sides and tho it gives me more anxiety at times it helps me digest it all. anyhow i came through with flying colors like the many women before us and after us do and will. i think i was most afraid of dying on the table, until i really realized HOW routine this is and how remote a possibility that is and these professionals keep us in good hands.
hang in

tvh 4/8 for larger than golf ball fibroid one of many, severe bleeding, anemia , polyp and ADENO like i suspected.
Unread 04-11-2002, 07:03 AM
6 days and freaking out

Well, here is the other thing too. If something happens while I'm on the table those good folks will do everything within their power to take care of me. Those are the key words though "within their power". If it is not within their power it is in the hands of God. Either way I'm in good hands.

Again, I've chosen to look at it this way as the other "what if, oh my gosh" stuff was only making me sick to my stomach, go sleepless, grit my teeth until my jaw and head heart. None of which was changing a thing. Since I've adopted this attitude though I'm sleeping and functioning and will continue to all the way to the castle gate. I can no longer make my self sick over something I cannot change.

I'm putting it in the hands of those who can change it for me and relying on the one who holds my hand every day I walk through this journey.

I look forward to my discharge from the castle, the road to recovery, and being able to encourage my sisters "you'll be fine", the waiting is the hardest part.
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Unread 04-11-2002, 07:12 AM
freaking out also

I understand what you are going thru, I feel like I have nervous energy. I'm cleanding and scrubing the house. I dare not sit to long because then its back to the what if game. but just knowing I'm not the only one makes it a little better.

hugs to all
Unread 04-11-2002, 07:26 AM
6 days and freaking out

I know, LKPoole,

I've been thinking I should do a will or at least a letter to my DH, DS, & DD, in case something happens. Pretty morbid, huh?

Unread 04-11-2002, 07:36 AM
6 days and freaking out

Well no I don't think it is morbid and I'm not saying I think I'm going to die at the castle. I'm saying that I know I won't cause I trust the people who will be taking care of me. I'm saying I have faith that all will turn out.

I am also saying that whatever happens in there is out of my hands and no amount of making myself sick will change what happens at the castle. So I choose not to play the what if game anymore. I'm now playing the when I get home, and when my recovery is complete.....and imagining all the cool stuff I'll be able to do that my condition has prevented.

As for the will thing, I've done it but I did it before this. You just never know is the thing with me. I could walk out to the car this afternoon, get in and have a wreck on the way home. (By the way chances of something going wrong in surgery are very much less than the wreck scenario in other words the wreck is more likely to happen that complications causing death in this surgery). I want my family cared for financial, to know my wishes in the event of my death and to know how very much they are loved. Again, this is just me and my opinion. So I've done that stuff but not because I think for one minute I'm not coming back home after this surgery.

Hang in there, meditate on the faith you have in the folks caring for you and the one who takes care of you every day.

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