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Unread 04-22-2002, 11:32 AM
so upset

Talking about hubby was so upset that I was in pain, he hated that, couldn't stand to have sex with me as it hurt me. With him being in the Navy, he has to be home for sex to happen, y'know. It's hard to plan a romantic eve with bleeding. Yuck, I'm so glad that the 3 weeks of bleeding a month is over with!

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Unread 04-22-2002, 11:50 AM
Sorry to hear about your distress ...

Denise ... this surgery thing is stressful for everyone involved. However, everyone deals with it in different ways ... and as we know ... men in general aren't too good with emotions. Whatever it is each of us has that requires a hysterectomy affects no one more than ourselves, but it is scary and inconvenient at times for those around us also.

Just this morning my 17 year old daughter confessed her fear for me for the first time and we had a good cry together. I've been dealing with this for nearly 6 months and had no idea she was so upset.

My point is ... there are times someone might say something inappropriate or hurtful ... but we're all human and make mistakes. And we certainly all say things at times that we wish we could take back ... and since we can't, the best we can do is apologize and hopefully receive forgiveness and try hard not to repeat our mistakes. I think the advice prior posts contain are on the nose. I know my husband didn't really understand what I was going through until I gave him some stuff to read (which I never though he would ... but he did!) and it helped a lot. He's been a super sweetie through this now that he has a clue about what's actually going on. There've been times I haven't been able to have sex, times I've been extremely emotional, times I've been unreasonable ... but at least he knew WHY ... which made all the difference in the world.

Now, if you've been married for 16 years (CONGRATULATIONS!) then there's definitely a strong bond and commitment between you guys to work with. We're all going through a rough patch right now ... but in time we'll heal ... physically, emotionally and mentally! That's what I keep telling myself to get me through!

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