Doctor appt today -- not good news -- have to vent

Hi Ladies--

Well, I had my doctor appointment this morning and I received the news that I did not want to hear. My CA-125 is up again (to 106 - it has been steadily climbing) and the MD wants to start me on IV chemo again - Doxil. I am so upset -- this is precisely not want I wanted to hear. :cry: Since the CA-125 is going up, my MD says that my cancer is growing. I am so upset. I told the MD that I wanted to wait a week until starting the Doxil (until April 30) and he said that was okay. To be honest, I just don't feel strong enough to go through this again. Even though the MD says he has had good results with the Doxil, I don't want to have it. One of the side effects is blistering and hot hands and feet which is bad news since I am a medical transcriptionist and use my hands and feet all day. My husband is angry with me -- he says that as long as it takes care of the cancer that that is all I should be concerned about. In a sense, I don't think he understands. I'm the one who has to have the treatment. I feel so lonely, like no one understands except my wonderful Hystersisters. Can you give me some words of encouragement? I also feel so guilty that I have not been very encouraging to many of you lately -- I've just been feeling so depressed that it is hard to be upbeat these days. At least I have my dog to keep me company at home....

Thanks for letting me vent.

I love you all,

Cyndy

Cyndy,

So sorry to hear your news. I can imagine how you would feel with the side effects you list. I, too, do medical transcription from home, and it certainly affects your work. How long do you have to do this treatment for?

Big for you. Will be sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers.

Ok, Cyndy...now we know what we have to do. I don't know much about Doxil, but it will strangle this cancer once and for all!! I don't think anyone (including our loved ones) will understand what it's like to find the courage to keep on fighting. But there is an aged old saying....You do what you have to do. Cyndy, you can do this...you have a whole week to prepare yourself mentally...you CAN do this. One day at a time...please please come here and let us support you!

Please sweetie....take the Doxil as soon as possible. I have heard that putting ice packs and/or cold towels helps with the blisters. I read somewhere about a lady sitting with her feet in ice water and never got a blister.

Yes, it does take alot of courage to keep fighting. Yes, it is unfair. Yes, it wears you out. But...it's better than the alternative. So take a deep breath and know we are all here for you. We will help you be strong. We will help you fight. And we will be here to rejoice with you when you get the good report that Doxil worked.

We all love you, Cyndy. There is not a one of us that wouldn't take a treatment for you if we could. Since we can't, we will just have to pray harder.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

kaatie

take that Doxil and let it stomp out that cancer once and forever. One day at a time, one treatment at a time--the Badger fighting spirit will lick it!

(((Cyndy))))
I am so sorry to hear this, and as hard as this is you will find the strength to fight this. Something I have noticed about your posts Cyndy, is that at least from my recollection your treatments were never delayed due to colds or flu. So....you know that says that your general health must be very good. I was the same way. I was receiving 36 hours of chemo every 3 weeks, and as sick as I was with nausea, not once were my treatments delayed, and they said that was a very good sign that my general health was really good. I used to think...well if I have cancer how can my general health be good?! But it does help alot.

After my 3rd round, I told my onocologist I was outta there. I had enough, and I wasn't doing any more. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. He talked me into finishing and one of the things he said was even though I was very ill at night after a treatment, I would rebound back in the morning to go at it again the next day, and the day after and on and on...., and he said that my general health and immune system played a big part in that. And you know that gave me the strength to finish it. I knew the day would come when they would be over, and thats all I thought about, was getting to that day.
So...I am thinking where your health is good Cyndy, that is going to help you to get through these treatments, and its very encouraging that your Dr. said he has had good results with the Doxil.

Keep in mind that not everyone has the same side effects and you may not have problems with your hands and feet, but as Katie said, they have things that can help with that. I am praying so hard for you Cyndy, that you find the strength to go at this. Those tumors are so small and hopefully it won't take too many treatments to zap them away forever!!

All of us and your new little chemo buddy are gonna get ya through this. You come here and post every night if you want, and we will be here for you!! Thats a promise !
Lots of love (((Cyndy))))!!
M. xoxo

Oh Cyndy {{{ hug}}}the girls are right... ya gotta do this.

As you know I didnt have chemo but when I was going through my external treatments , it got to the point of the skin being so badly burnt on my whole genital area ,like 3rd degree burning, that I said to my radiologist ' not one more treatment '. He just about begged me to finish then I came here and said the same thing to all our wonderful angels here " I cant do this anymore " . They cheered me on and I finished the treatments . I came here and cried , nearly everyday

Sorry long way to say.... Cyndy ~ you can do this, it will be hard but you must . We will be here always, 24/7 . Add all of us to your aim list and I am sure one of us will be online , we will get you through this but we need your help. I wish with all my that I was there . We love ya Cyndy,

Cyndy~ Robyn has a good idea. My AIM name is kaatie614. Please...IM me anytime. I am on alot and I will help you all I can.

{{{{{{{{{{hugs and love}}}}}}}}}}}}

kaatie

s Cyndy

I am so sorry that the news was not what you wanted to hear. I wish I were by your side so that I could give you a hugh hug!!!! You certainly gave that oral chemo a fair try, Cyndy, and it just was not doing the job.

Give yourself a few days to feel down. You certainly deserve to feel how you feel. And then, please pick yourself up and head out for the doxil. You are just still too young and in your prime to give up this early in the game!!!!
You could have a hoard of hyster sisters showing up at your door to carry you off for the doxil. :

Like Margaret Thatcher says in "There's No Place Like Hope," sometimes we have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
You can do it Cyndy, and we are all here to love, hug, support and encourage you.

karenann

CYNDY,

YOU KNOW I AM SO SORRY FOR THE BAD NEWS.
IT'S NOT REALLY BAD, BAD THOUGH. IF IT WILL
GET RID OF THOSE DARN CELLS THAN YOU MUST DO THIS
HON, FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR HUSBAND AND THE PUP.
OH, PLEASE CAME HERE ANYTIME AND IF YOU NEED TO TALK
JUST E-MAIL ONE OF US.
I AM NOT FAMILAR WITH CHEMO BUT, I KNOW THAT IT
DOES GIVE GOOD RESULTS.
ALOT OF THE SISTERS HAVE HAD CHEMO AND THEY ARE
O.K. RIGHT??
PLEASE, START YOUR TREATMENTS, THE SOONER YOU START THE SOONER YOU WILL FINISH. WITH GREAT RESULTS!!!