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Family/Doctor conflict. Can't believe this! Family/Doctor conflict. Can't believe this!

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Unread 04-25-2002, 08:36 AM
Family/Doctor conflict. Can't believe this!

Divine Intervention indeed!

After the way I've been feeling I just kept saying, "I can't handle this. I'm so tired and I just don't need anything more on my agenda." I know there is some positive force at work..and right 10:30'm feeling like there are no worries with this srugery! Talk to me again when I have to do my pre-op prep!! LOL

Thank you all again so much!
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Unread 04-25-2002, 02:00 PM


Sometimes the DH is not enough. Sometimes a girl just needs her Dad!

Your Dad sounds a lot like mine. I told them they didn't need to take off work to be there with the DH but I was told to hush and not mention it again. Even when you know your loved it's great to see womone show you how much.
Unread 04-25-2002, 03:29 PM

I know you have a very stressful situation. I feel for you! It is hard to face this life-changing event with this kind of burden on your back. I will make sure I include you in my prayers and send cyber-'s to you! You sound like you need them!

My advice is to make SURE your medical files are transferred, copied, etc... to your "new" doctor. I had to change doctors in the middle of my diagnoses and my first doctor SAID she would transfer the files but never did. I had to go through all of the testing again before my gyn would schedule the lap. Luckily, my gyn is a great guy and did it all quickly!

Walk them over yourself if you have to, but make sure they get to your new dr!

Your sister is TOTALLY out of line! I would wait, however, until you have things under control before you talk to her. If you get her back up, your feelings will be lost on her. She won't be able to put herself in your shoes. I think, also, that alerting her to slander charges is probably a good way to get her attention. Also, make sure she is aware that she blabbed in front of your dr's wife. That kind of attention to the lie she made up might clam her up, too.

You know, she sounds like one of my Jr High students; a drama queen. IMHO I think, from now on, the outbursts your sister makes should be ignored before they become another public spectacle. That is what I do with my students...remove them from the spot light.

I hope my advice helps....I hope your switch works...keep us informed!
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Unread 04-25-2002, 10:20 PM
Family/Doctor conflict. Can't believe this!

Talk about timing!

I was in the "castle" for a little while tonight. I had had a bout of bleeding with what we call a headache (though much worse) that wouldn't stop. It was scary. Looks like more Provera till surgery day. ICK! My doc was the one on-call. We had a chance to talk and it looks like all is good going. The prayers must be working!!! I'm so humbled at the empathy I see in you all here. I started crying when I told my dad about it today!

And Liz...thanks for the reminder about the medical records. I am doing that first thing in the AM!!! I'd lose my head if it weren't connected lately!
Unread 04-28-2002, 02:30 AM
Family/Doctor conflict. Can't believe this!

The most important thing here is what YOU want. If YOU are comfortable with your original doctor, please tell him that. All of those other people that are making judgements have no right whatsoever to try to dictate and control what happens to you. YOUR DOCTOR knows your history and he knows what you need. It sounds like DH will support your choice, and that is just what it is,,, YOUR CHOICE....Personally I would never ever ever choose a surgeon or a surgery basing the choice on what someone outside the medical field thinks you should do for THEIR OWN PERSONAL ISSUES.
Just the fact that he talked to you and said that he feels he treats the whole family and doesn't want a rift speaks volumes as to what an ethical Dr. he is. If I were in this situation I would do two things. First I would ask myself "Do I want this man to be my Dr. Would I be changing Dr's if my sis hadnt started in on him. " Remember that this is YOUR CHOICE, not theirs. It sounds like your sis is still angry that he mentioned her weight issue, and is unable to see that it is an important thing to be concerned with during pregnancy.

Second, depending on what your answers are to those questions posed, if it were me, I would call the Dr and tell him that yes I want him to do my surgery or yes, i want him to transfer me to another surgeon, providing you will not have to jump back to the beginning.

Just keep remembering, this is your body, your surgery and YOUR LIFE.. You do not owe it to anyone to make selection of medical professionals that you will see based on what others think of him. What do YOU want?
Unread 04-28-2002, 03:53 AM
Family/Doctor conflict. Can't believe this!

Dear Joby,

I just wanted to add a and to say that I am glad that it is working out with your new/old doctor doing the surgery. In your first post it sounded as if the other doctor has offered to be there as secondary, which seems to give you two great doctors for the price of one!!

I'm sure that it will not be easy to avoid your sister, and maybe sometime in the future, when you have had time to recover and heal, you can seek some counseling to give you help in dealing with her. She must be a very troubled person, but right now, you have to put yourself first, and I am glad that your DH and DF are helping you to be able to do that.


Unread 04-28-2002, 06:34 AM
Family/Doctor conflict. Can't believe this!


Everyone here has said everything so well, what could I possibly add? Just my prayers and good thoughts for you.

Family can be a burden sometimes, but then there are the family members like your Dad and DH. They make life worth living sometimes, don't they?? As a parent, I've seen my own two daughters not be so close at times, but now (they're 23 & 19), they seem to be putting some "growing up" junk behind them and are becoming closer. What I mean to say is this--if it's possible to repair the relationship with your sister, it would be such a wonderful thing BUT if it's not possible, move on with no regrets. Family can be so tough--I wish you the best.

The one Dr. that was going to do the surgery until all this popped up, wow--what a man. From what you say, you had been happy with him, and it seems he is such a fine person. To damage a person's reputation is so horrible, but even when he heard about what your sister said, he still had YOUR (his patient's) best interests at heart. Your sister missed out on a fine physician.

Hang in there, Joby. Yes, events like this are draining. Catch your energy up and take one day at a time.
Unread 04-28-2002, 03:18 PM
Long Story Sorry!!!

I am reading this post and I just had to add to an experience that I had back in 1998. I had only lived in my area for a year which means I didn't know too many people. My DD who was 8 years old at the time developed pains on her hip and sides and after 2 days we took her to the ER and after two agonizing days, a result from the MRI showed that her right Ovary seemed bigger than the left. Our GP recommended a GYN for her, I remember he told me not to worry that this DR was a good friend of his and the best in our area. A couple of other women later would second that. When I took her to this GYN, he talked and treated her as if she was his own daughter. He gently explained that he would have to do a little operation on her. He did an U/S and saw a big tumor. He reassured her that he would make her better and gave her his card and wrote his home phone number on it and told her to call him anytime she needed to talk. Now, a woman from our church had offered to come with us and sit in the waiting room during her surgery for morale support. I thought that was nice. In the meantime, we were trying to close on a house and having all kinds of trouble from the builders, and the week after we moved in, her surgery was scheduled. On the morning of DD's surgery, DD had a high fever and the surgery was post-poned until the week later. I had to call this woman right away out of courtesy to let her know. Imagine my shock when she said, "Well, maybe this is a sign from God, and that you need to find another Dr. Personally, I don't like this Dr. there is something about him." Well, I tried not to show my irritation towards her and I didn't even ask why she felt the way she did. I discussed with my DH and he just didn't want to hear about doing that. I am glad I didn't listen to this woman. Before DD's surgery he sat down next to her and held her hand and said a prayer, and asked the Lord to help him with his hands during the surgery and that she will have a good recovery and that the tumor maybe Benign. We were touched that he would do that. By the way, results were Benign Tumor the size of a tangerine in the Fallopian Tube, and after three weeks of her surgery she was playing basketball. (remember she is 8 years old at the time).

A few months later, I had problems, and went back to GYN for myself and he performed a Lap/D&C. I ran into this woman from church again and out of curiosity, I asked why she didn't like this DR. She said, "Oh, I went to him once and I felt that he got a little bit flirty with me and I didn't feel comfortable" Well, you know what, this woman claims that about every man that she seems to run into. So I put it all together, and figured that she was delusional. BTW, if your wondering, no, she is not attractive. I am very honest person.

So, the moral of this story is, had I listened to her at first, I may have jeopardized my DD's health. Incidently, because of how GYN treated DD, her operation/recovery was a very positive experience. DD is also jealous(not in a bad way) that he is doing TAH on me.

To all LIW and Princess, please, if someone tells you something please check it out for yourself first before making any major decision.

Unread 04-29-2002, 11:05 AM
I am inspired!

Tilos and Joby,

I am so glad (and a little jealous) that you have such wonderful doctors! I truly think that you and your families are blessed.

Good luck and lots of s! You all are in my prayers!

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