Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)


HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.

HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support
Reply

Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

Thread Tools
  #1  
Unread 12-21-2014, 04:33 AM
Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

My surgery is next week. I have a million things to do to prepare for my recovery as you all well know. I have to think of everything, anticipate every need from every angle because I really don't think I can rely on anyone in my life quite frankly.
In the midst of all this, it is my boyfriend's birthday and Christmas is almost here. Yesterday I took the time out to run around and shop for everything to prepare a meal for him, bake a cake and wrap his gifts. He showed up late. No call. Just late. My dinner was ruined and I was mad. When he finally did show, I kept saying in my head, “Don't be mad- its his birthday”. When he walked in the door I wished him a Happy Birthday to which he corrected me saying that today is in fact his birthday. Trigger. I HATE when people correct me. AND of course I know that today is your actual birthday. THEN after not one word about being late he tells me how he was on the phone with his friend. Now, I am really mad. We eat in silence. I really can't believe he was so inconsiderate as he was already late by the time he left his house to get to mine and no phone call and no apologies.
I am canceling cooking Christmas Eve dinner for him as I do not have the time today to run around again and shop for food AND then spend the entire day Christmas Eve cooking a turkey for someone who obviously has no respect for me or my time. I would rather spend my time today preparing for my recovery.
I am extremely emotional, scared and tired not to mention in pain. I can't believe how patronizing people are about my emotional state and the preparations I am making in order to care for myself as independently as possible during and after this horrendous procedure. I just need some support and can't seem to get a sympathetic, empathetic ear.
Just can't stop crying.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Unread 12-21-2014, 09:40 AM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

I'll call him very un-grateful for you. Sounds like a good decision to cancel the next big meal prep and spend that time taking care of the things that you need to get done for yourself before surgery time.

If it helps at all, I am much less incapacitated than I thought I would be. I hate being helpless and want to plan and take care of everything for myself. I am only three days out from an open abdominal hysterectomy -- 11" abdominal cut -- and I feel like I can take care of myself just fine around the house.
  #3  
Unread 12-21-2014, 09:41 AM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

Hugs, sorry your boyfriend is being a poop. Don't feel like you have to do it all! That's a lot of pressure. My surgery is the day after Christmas so I will be cooking a feast I can't eat, bowel prep... But my hubby knows I'm not cooking much so he and my mom will cook too. It just sucks when you feel like you have no support. I'd suggest sitting down and telling him your worries and fears. Guys can be oblivious if we don't spell out our expectations for them.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #4  
Unread 12-21-2014, 09:56 AM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

Hi there,
I am 2 days post op from LAVH and altho I am sore I am by no means incapacitated. I am feeling great tbh no more pain, bleeding and feeling like I am dying a little each day. Your "boyfriend" sounds like a selfish inconsiderate knob!!
I too was petrified and scared senseless I can honestly say my imagination was far worse than anything that has actually happened. I recommend walking a lot and drinking tonnes of water!! Wind eze and stool softeners are a must!!! As the most painful thing is the wind.
Get your boyfriend told, talk to him don't bottle all this up!! Some men need clear explanations to everything. Thinking of you and sending a big calming hug xx
  #5  
Unread 12-21-2014, 09:56 AM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

thinking of you sista. Lynngg is right I had arranged for help but I was able to get around and take care of myself ( make soup etc) right after getting home). Don't worry about the boyfriend you go out and get stuff to make your life easy. Stock up on easy food so you don't have to go out and take care of you only. Good luck friend
  #6  
Unread 12-21-2014, 04:53 PM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

*hugs*

Eight months out for me for my hysterectomy!

I know all the emotions that come with beforehand and I'm sorry your boyfriend was being very rude and inconsiderate!

Just take care of you during this time, don't bother cooking any meals and get ready for the big day ahead of you!!

*hugs*

Lisa
  #7  
Unread 12-23-2014, 03:42 AM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

I had my pre op with my surgeon yesterday. I am even more scared now but will post on another thread about some of the prep, surgical procedure info and after care etc on another thread later.

I finally heard from my boyfriend after 2 days of nothing. I am pretty sure he forgot that yesterday afternoon was my pre op. Anyway, I was all anxious by the time he called as the previous call was from my brother telling me that now he was probably not able to commit to being at the hospital for me. So I tell boyfriend that the surgeon informs me that I need to have someone stay with me for the first 12-24 hours after I get home. Doc also said that I would be physically unable to take a shower for 3 days because I would be so unsteady and drugged.
Boyfriend says "I think I could get the dog set for one night, but would have to leave to walk and feed her a few times" . Then a mumbled statement about staying the weekend (I didn't ask for that) but then expressed concern for his dog at being alone for considerable lengths of time and that she wouldn't understand that and would be confused.
Um, what?
Then he throws in a statement about how he doesn't cook. (Again, didn't ask you for that)
So there ya have it. Boyfriend is more concerned about his dog being alone rather than me being alone after major surgery.
I feel like such a loser.
  #8  
Unread 12-23-2014, 05:22 AM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

Hi ~
Hang in there and don't put yourself down as some men just don't get it, they are not wired like us so there for don't think, act or work as we do. I am 8 days post op and I can get through the day with little things. So think of yourself and prepare for the upcoming surgery and your needs as the added stress is not helping. Hugs to you as I know it's hard and you will get through this as I and all the others here do with taking it a day at a time.

Hugs!!
  #9  
Unread 12-26-2014, 04:36 PM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

I had my pre op testing today. 3 hours at the hospital. Talking to my boyfriend tonight, telling him all about it....middle of my story he says his dog was limping around all day yesterday and he thinks she has arthritis.
um, what?
I don't want to play second fiddle to a dog.
My surgery is one week from today and I still have no idea who will be around after I am released from the hospital to help me.
  #10  
Unread 12-26-2014, 06:51 PM
Upcoming hysterectomy (Jan 2nd): Very emotional and need to vent

  Quote:
Originally Posted by 2painful View Post
I had my pre op testing today. 3 hours at the hospital. Talking to my boyfriend tonight, telling him all about it....middle of my story he says his dog was limping around all day yesterday and he thinks she has arthritis.
um, what?
I don't want to play second fiddle to a dog.
My surgery is one week from today and I still have no idea who will be around after I am released from the hospital to help me.
I don't mean to be insensitive but it sounds like it is time to say goodbye to both your uterus and your boyfriend. You really don't need to be dealing with this, you need to focus on your physical and mental health. Other than arranging for a ride home from the hospital you will be fine on your own. He doesn't sound very caring or helpful and you can do better. I have been there myself. Get rid of him! You will be ok after surgery. Had mine on nov 10th and all went well. Just needed a lot of rest. Good luck!
Reply

booklet
Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions
Register




Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
4 Replies, Last Reply 12-17-2014, Started By PurpleAce95
3 Replies, Last Reply 12-13-2014, Started By CMSellers
11 Replies, Last Reply 12-08-2014, Started By sushiowl
9 Replies, Last Reply 10-21-2014, Started By eagle16
7 Replies, Last Reply 07-24-2014, Started By sylvesterkat
17 Replies, Last Reply 07-03-2014, Started By cbar
11 Replies, Last Reply 06-27-2014, Started By Pegetha
24 Replies, Last Reply 06-21-2014, Started By MEW1975
3 Replies, Last Reply 04-01-2013, Started By bluebell41
14 Replies, Last Reply 01-23-2012, Started By gmac4_11
16 Replies, Last Reply 10-02-2008, Started By OregonSun
7 Replies, Last Reply 05-02-2005, Started By bulldog
12 Replies, Last Reply 11-26-2001, Started By HorseNut
10 Replies, Last Reply 07-13-2001, Started By mousie216
2 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
22 Replies, Aching Hearts
9 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
4 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
11 Replies, Pelvic Floor and Bladder Issues
6 Replies, Cancer Concerns - GYN



Advertisement

Hysterectomy News

April 19,2021

CURRENT NEWS

HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive

TODAY'S EVENTS

Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays


Request Information


I am a HysterSister

HYSTERECTOMY STORIES

Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours

FOLLOW US


Your Hysterectomy Date


CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  


$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement


Advertisement