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Unread 04-27-2002, 02:41 PM
What if

As I go through and read the post from the ladies. I often wonder in my situation if more should of been done. I think its the CANCER HEAD BUT I STILL WORRY. I had cervical cancer stage 1a. Its been one year I still am having good paps. I go every three months. I read that ladies had chemo or radiation. I did not. Will I ever know if I should of had all that. I trust my doctor to the fullest but I still wonder. I went to an ocologist when I found out. The cancer was so little he told me I definately needed a Hysterectomy but I could go back to my GYn. because he sub-specializes in that he said he would do it.


I think my minds is going crazy cause I have to go back for a retest on my mammogram and I am scared. May 6th is coming up to quick.

I have been living well and feeling well just lately I have not.

Thanks for listening.
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Unread 04-27-2002, 02:54 PM

Hello! I hear what you are saying. I often wonder the same things, sometimes I think I understand it, and other times I am totally confused. This is especially true when many of the oncologists and nurses have become calloused in their answers and their bedside manner. Sometimes when I talk to my oncologist about these very same issues that you are having, they almost leave me with a humiliated feeling for even asking. Yes, there are people much worse off than us, weaker than us, older than us, etc.... But, bottom line is, we also deserve to have our questions and fears at least answered and hopefully acknowledged. Let's face it, Dr. error is a big topic in the media right now, add that to the HMO dilema, and honey, you have every right to wonder!!!! The best suggestion (what I have done) is go to the head of every department you are seen in. Meaning , the head nurse, the head doctor etc... and complain your @#$ off until you feel like you are more comfortable with their answers. I was recently brought back in for another biopsy after my surgery and after my three month pap came back suspicious. Then, I was scheduled for another surgery and radiation. I just got pnuemonia the day after my pre-op and ended up in the hospital that whole next week. So, now, my treatments are put off for another MONTH because of my pneumonia - I won't clear anesthesia. No one seems to be concerned that the cancer that is still there will harm me, but you bet I am worried! So, if you are really bothered, get another opinion! By all means- ease your mind and soul, you deserve the peace. Thoughts, prayers and s
Unread 04-27-2002, 03:53 PM
What if

Hi there albie first of all no you are not over-reacting because what you are feeling is definately what we call 'cancer head ' and there is no way you have any control over that.

But ... you say that it is one year of good paps ... well thats a plus . You ask if more should have been done... there is no reason to give radiation for stage 1a , usually all abnormal /cancerous cells are removed with a hysterectomy. If the margins are not clear as in my case then radiation is considered. I had radiation 6 mths after my hysterectomy because cells were still evident on the vaginal wall at my 3 mth checkup and after doing an upper vaginectomy they found that there was cancer and as it was an aggressive type they suggested radiation and the rest you can read in my story .

We are here for you albie, to support you when you have these fears and worries. Dont forget that. Sending you lots of prayers and love , keeping you close to my
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Unread 04-27-2002, 06:37 PM
What if

I can really relate to what you are saying. I had a TVH 5 months ago for stage 1A cervical adenocarcinoma. I too have been told that I do not need any more treatment. I still wonder if there is more I should be doing.
My doctor has told me that my chances are less than 1% that the cancer will reoccur. I know that those odds are wonderful but my chances of getting this cancer in the first place was probably less than 1%.

Anyway, the ladies here tell me that time will cure this. I don't want to rush time, but I would love to feel secure in my health again.

How has your doctor followed you in the past year as far as checkups and tests?

Congratulations on getting to a year!!

Unread 04-27-2002, 07:03 PM

sweetie. I understand your fears. We all do. Once you have cancer I am not sure you ever feel 'safe' again. Every little lump now causes me stress. What used to be just a bruise is now something I worry about. I don't think there is a day that I have ever forgotten that I had cancer. It's always there and I always wonder.

The way cancer changed me is....I used to save every penny for retirement. Well...I dodged a bullet and I am spending my money on living now. Who knows if I will reach retirement. I want to have some fun now !

I used to buy the store brand coffee and put cinnamon in it to make it taste better. I would stock up when they had buy one get one free. Now I buy Starbucks at $10.00 a pound. I want to enjoy my coffee every morning because every morning is a gift now.

And everytime I have a Dr. appointment I start to get uptight a few days before. I go every 3 months and I have gotten good reports but I still sit in that waiting room wondering...what if, what if.......

So no, sweet Albie. You are not over reacting. You are being very normal for someone who HAD cancer. {had, had, had...it's gone... past tense...it's behind us} <~~my mantra now!

We are here for you. Recently alot of us have been getting this 'cancer head' stuff. You are not alone. Thank the Lord we have these message boards to help each other through these rough moments.


Unread 04-27-2002, 10:12 PM
What if

Hi Albie!

I don't want to sound redundant by repeating what has already been said, but I agree in that I don't think you're over reacting. Our family, friends, spouses, co-workers, doctors and nurses can try as hard as they might to understand how you might feel, but no matter what stage you are diagnosed at, being told that you have cancer turns your life inside out! I was so glad when a friend of mine told me about this site because I was finally able to talk to women who TRULY understand. I was diagnosed at stage 1b (cervical adenocarcinoma) and I went through radiation and my chances, I'm told, are excellent to never have a recurrence, but that doesn't stop me from worrying every time I go in for a pap and for the 2-4 weeks after the exam to get the results! My doctors have been wonderful, but I know there are times they must think that I'm just being paranoid! Well guess what? That's just too bad! I had it, they didn't and part of their job is to listen to my questions even if they've heard it a million times before. It may be 'routine' to them, but I don't think that I'll EVER be used to the fact that there was cancer inside of me.

To help ease your mind though, when they did your hyst, they looked at your cancer VERY closely to determine whether or not more treatment was needed. My doctor recommended radiation after the path had shown that it was on the way to the lymph nodes. Had it not been for that, I would have only have had the hyst. My cancer was stage 1b and I almost didn't need the radiation, so I hope that helps to ease your mind even just a little bit. You've been clear for a year! That's great!!! Just hang in there and let us know how it goes. Vent any time you like, that's why we're here.
Unread 04-28-2002, 07:10 AM
Great big Thankx

I want to thank all of you for your thoughts. I need to trust my Doc which I do but I still have those thoughts. I thinks its alot mind over matter going through my body. I feel a pain its Cancer . I do it all the time. If I went to the doctor everytime I felt that way I would never leave his office I keep reminding myself my Hysterectomy came back cancer free thats a good sign and it has been a year. I am so worried all the time I am not living. I am going to change that today I have been up all night and your right Kaatie I am living for me and my family. Its :time2 life for which I have not done since I found out I had .....HAD cancer.

Unread 04-29-2002, 07:07 AM
What if

I just wanted to basically restate what has already been said -- the need for radiation and/or chemo is based on each individual situation and I think the final say is usually based on the pathology result on the tissue that is taken during the surgery! I had Stage 1B2 cervical cancer and went into surgery thinking that would be it. The path result showed that there were vessels or capillaries or something tied up in the lesion that could possibly be a way for the cancer cells to move. Even though there was NO evidence that that had happened, they recommended the radiation and chemo just to be sure. Of course, I didn't want to go through any of that, but I have 3 young children and lots of years ahead of me (I pray), so I felt like I had to do whatever it took to get the best possible outcome.

Like you, though, I continue to wonder if it's really all gone -- even with all the treatments I have had. I have just finished everything and haven't had my first follow up pap and checkup, and I know that will be stressful when it comes along. I doubt if I will ever fully trust my body again.

Finally, I agree with the other posts that if you aren't getting answers to your questions and reassuance that the best possible treatment path was taken, you should seek another opinion. You deserve to have answers and to have as much peace about this as you possibly can!


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