made my decision

I have decided that I have to have the hysterectomy for my own peace of mind - even if DH is holding out for some other answer I have to do what is in my gut.

I have an appointment on Thursday with one last oncologist reccommended by the Gyne that I will be changing to. I used to go to a male Gyne and went to this new female Dr. on the referral from a family friend who does surclages (sp) for her patients and she was SO empowering, caring and honest - gentle bed side manner too, that I have decided to switch to her. I thought it best to have an appointment with the oncologist she recommended as the one who performed my cone - although highly regarded - was not as gentle and caring as I would like. We'll see how the new Dr. is. I feel violated everytime I go in for the necessary biopsy/check-ups that the gentler the better!

Will keep everyone up to date, and thanks so much for everything. I can actually think about things and not burst into uncontrollable tears anymore having read and shared so many stores!! I have found such strength here!

Thank you sisters!

I quote my late Aunt Joy (who passed away due to breast cancer) when I close with:

"Love and Sunshine" to all!

OXOX

Hi Susan, I am so glad that you have made your decision and that you are comfortable and at peace with it. It is great that you are so comfortable with your Dr as well, that is half the battle.

Now you can concentrate on getting your body as healthy as possible in preparation for surgery.

Best of luck for Thursday and dont forget to let us know how it all goes, we worry about you.

Keeping you in my daily prayers love always x x x

{{{Susan}}

I'm happy to hear you've come to decision that you are comfortable with. All we can do is make the best choice that we can. Don't be surprised if you second guess yourself a few times between now and the time of surgery. I think that's a normal way to cope with things.

I hope your doctor's appts go well this week. Please keep us updated as you are able.

I was so relieved to see you post this a.m.! You were the last person I thought of before going to sleep last night, and what a big decision you had to make. I really feel for you! I am glad you are seeing a few different doctors, as they can all give you different insight into your decision. As for worrying about your DH and by the way- is that husband, right?- I hope you can both he can pull it together for you right now. I will be praying for both of you. Men and even a lot of women don't "get" it, that's why I am so glad we found hystersisiters! Take care and , don't forget you can e-mail me anytime!

meant to check the post, but pressed submit. Sorry for the type o's. I meant and prayers to you!!!!!

I thank you for thinking of me and supporting my decision. It is a wonderful thing to know that YOU sisters understand.

As for DH, I know I am internalizing a lot - and might be a little more sensitive to things right now (gee, I wonder why) so am trying to cut him some slack and I think that my insecurities go into overdirve and I get my guard up. But will try to lighten up as time goes on. No one can tell the future - I have to keep track of the present right now.

As for second guessing my decision, already doing that at least once a day, but I was with some wonderful and supportive friends last night and was able to talk about it, when asked, and not cry my eyes out like last week. I think that means something.

I shall keep you informed - I hope I like this Thursday's Dr.

OXXO

I am glad that you made this decision and are at peace with it. This is all very scary. Soon you'll be able to put it past you and get on with everything else.

-Denise

Hi Susan!

Glad to hear that you're doing better. This is such as stessful time in your life and that stress does such crazy things to out thinking. :eyes: Hang in there. Things will work themselves out in time. Let us know how your doctor visit goes!