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Biggest Fear isn't "A" Biggest Fear isn't "A"

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Unread 04-28-2002, 07:02 AM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

My big day is tomorrow and I can hardly believe it's slipped up so fast! I knew about this in March so I've had about a month to prepare, but--

Anyway, I understand the fear about not waking up from surgery. I had that fear, too, but had good experiences from general "A" when I had my tubes tied and last year from a D&C. I'm one of the lucky ones (so far) that I don't get sick and last year, I woke up pretty fast, I thought.

My fear is that they might find cancer. There hasn't been one thing said about suspecting it or anything, but then there's the different pains. Like the one that feels like my right ovary is just absolutely being twisted, etc., etc. My Mom has had breast and uterine cancer. My Dad had cancer. I told the DR's. office to be sure to tell him I want absolutely everything to go to pathology, which I think is maybe even standard procedure from the way they talked, but I'm still kind of scared about that. I just wonder if anyone went in like me, not really thinking anything was there, but it really was.

I guess it's just the "day-before-the-BIG-SURGERY" jitters. I can't believe it, but I've STILL got to go down to school to do just a couple of more things so they'll be set for the next 5 weeks. I'm trying to figure out how I can go and my family won't know. They're getting mad at me Plus I've let the house go in order to get work in shape for me being gone, so I've got that to do today. My DH and 2 DDs have been so sweet, telling me not to worry about the house, etc., etc. They all took me out last night for a "last supper"--was a lot of love and laughing. I am so lucky that they are my family.

Didn't go to church because I was afraid I'd cry if I went. Have known all these weeks, have asked those I did tell to keep quiet about it since I hadn't told my Mom, and now that time is here. I've got to go and tell her today. Gosh, I hope she handles it o.k. I've waited so she wouldn't worry. Which is weird. The "taking care of" parts seems to turn around with parents, don't they?

Well, I'm rambling and babbling and my hands are beginning to shake, just thinking about all of this and what's going to happen tomorrow. I haven't had the guts to ask if DDs are going to wait w/my husband. They really need the money they make from their jobs and I couldn't possibly ask them to be there, and I think DH will be all right waiting. He's one in a million. I've told him, though, to be sure when the Dr. comes out to ask how everything looked in there.

If I get busy, maybe I'll feel better. Thanks for "listening". I know I'll be taking HysterSister breaks in my cleaning today. Helps keep me sane. You all are the best
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Unread 04-28-2002, 07:07 AM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

Hi Laura Jean,

I think we all have fears of the "C" word, even if there's nothing suspected.

I'm praying that you'll have an uneventful surgery tomorrow, and that the Lord will be with you through it all.

A great big for you.

Be at peace, all will be well.

Unread 04-28-2002, 07:15 AM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

Laura Jean

Good luck on youre surgery!
We will be for you!
Lots of 's and best wishes to a speedy recovery.
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Unread 04-28-2002, 07:25 AM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

Sending 's your way. Your going to be a !! I'll be waiting to hear from you in a few days. My ers are with you. Karlene
Unread 04-28-2002, 07:26 AM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

Laura Jean,

I had my hyst because the dr. thought my CIS had evolved into full blown cancer. I was very non-chalant about the surgery, never did I worry -- till the morning on the way to the hospital. I started to panick and cry hysterically. Don't know why, maybe my subconscious came through. Never told anyone I was frightened to death of dying. I let a bad pap test go unrechecked for 5 years and the dr. wasn't happy that something that could have been taken care of had grown so out of control.

Anyway, the morning of the hyst, things went so fast, I didn't have that much time to panic. Got to hospital at 7am and was wheeled into surgery at exactly 7:30am. Next thing I know, I woke up in recovery. Wish they had given me valium to take at home before I arrived cuz what good did it do taking it at 7am when I was unconscious at about 7:35?

Next time I panicked was at the 1 week mark when I had to go for checkup and results of pathology. I was even worse than the day of surgery! I was sure that I was dying, still I never told a sole. The dr. advised that while it did spread "high up" and even more than he was able to catch with conventional tests (PAP, colposcopy and LEEP), he did get it all -- clear margins -- and I would be just fine with no further action needed in the immediate future.

The moral -- your anxiety and fear of the unknown is worse, most of the time, than the actual ailment -- at least that's my perspective.

Relax and try not to worry till they give you something to worry about!

Good Luck and we're all on your side!


Unread 04-28-2002, 01:06 PM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

Laura Jean,

I didn't let myself think much about the cancer possibility, which is probably why I chose instead to obsess about the "A". Cancer really is a very small chance with fibroids. It's been awhile since I did the research, but if I remember right, it's less than 1 in a thousand. They did send my uterus and cervix to pathology, which I assume is routine, and found no cancer, which is almost always the case.

Good luck, and try to get some sleep tonight. I know it's going to be hard!

Unread 04-28-2002, 01:51 PM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

We have the same dateI'll be going to the castle tomorrow too. Take care and keep in touch!
Unread 04-28-2002, 01:59 PM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

Hugs to you, Laura Jean!! You'll do great and your family sounds like they'll be a lot of help for you. A loving family is a blessing from God.

I'm so glad I had this surgery and I'm sure you will be, too.
Every day I thank God I'm not bleeding anymore!!

Hugs and prayers to you that all will go well with your mom and for a successful, uneventful surgery and a restful, complete recovery,

from Sue
Unread 04-28-2002, 02:19 PM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

to you Laura Jean! I too worried about cancer, even though it didn't run in my family. I just had to pray and have faith. It will work out, and if you do have cancer, I'll be there to support you and listen to you. And I bet your family will too.

I will be thinking and praying for you tomorrow...everything will be just fine.

Unread 04-28-2002, 02:28 PM
Biggest Fear isn't "A"

Laura Jean,

I'll be praying for you, the docs, and your family.

I'm new to all of this so I'll be ready to hear how it all went for you when your are home and resting. Take care and post when you can,

Good luck,

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