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No big deal(yeah right!) No big deal(yeah right!)

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Unread 04-28-2002, 10:20 AM
No big deal(yeah right!)

I agree with Courtlyn,
Now is not the time to beat our heads against a wall trying to get "blood from a turnip" (they simply do not have it to give)..........when you have the urge to do this act of madness (trying to get what we need from those who dont have it to give)......... just walk up to a wall and talk.... its the same response.. and less frustrating, because at lease there we dont have REAL expectations the wall will respond with compassion.

take care of yourself....
xo DonnaFay
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Unread 04-28-2002, 10:40 AM
it IS a big deal

yes it is a big deal in fact it's a HUGE HUGE deal! But, I am one week post-op and feeling better and better every single day. I had my uterus removed, my left ovary as my right one was removed a year ago, and part of my cervix removed (part of it only because I was losing blood). The first two days in the hospital for me were rough and I had 2 blood transfusions, BUT with every day that comes and goes, I honestly can say I am Soooooooooooooo glad I had this done. I no longer have to suffer from the severe pain I went thru for years, I only wish I had had this surgery done years ago as my doctor suggested. I know how scared you all are, I've been there. But please know that you will be absolutely 100% fine. And a swollen belly I don't think is much of a worry unless you are very concerned about your appearance I guess. But all in all I am very glad I had this done. Yep I have swelly belly, but it is going down everyday as well also. And I already feel better, better then I have in nearly 18 years! Please read alot about this surgery and discuss your concerns with your doctor. She is the one who helped me the most (my doc that is). My bowel, bladder, and uterus were "as one" when she got inside and my surgery took twice as long as what she thought it was going to take. But now I feel like I have a new outlook on life and look forward to a painfree world!
Sorry for my ramblings this is my first posting since my surgery Oh also I cried a few times a day for the first 4 days or so and then I got my estrogen patch which by the way is also making me feel really good!
Unread 04-28-2002, 12:51 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

I am so glad someone started this topic. I just told a few people at work and every single one that had had the surgery told me how much better they felt and they thought I would, too. That was great.

Then there's the one person I thought I was closest to at work. Things have been troubled between us this year because of another person that had been assigned to work with me (and wanted to tell ME what to do) and how she treated me--my friend became distant. It really hurt because she doesn't know the whole story--"I" haven't told it all yet.

Anyway, this friend came up to me Friday, my last day at work, said she had to be leaving work a little early, wished me well, said I'd be in her prayers, then she said "I'm jealous--you'll be like a whole new woman". She KNOWS what I've gone through to need this surgery, she knows I've really lingered over this decision to have MAJOR SURGERY...and she's JEALOUS???? Give me a break. No way does she understand, but the bad part is that she THINKS she does. Strange how these experiences help us find our true friends.

It's been my DH who reminds me that this is MAJOR surgery everytime he gets worried that I'm trying to do too much in getting things ready at work, etc. I am one lucky woman to be married to that man.

Thanks for letting me vent. It's been a long time coming. I have been so hurt over the friendship, but at least I know the way it is REALLY
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Unread 04-28-2002, 02:21 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

My hubby and I had quite the a few months before my surgery because he didn't think it would be a big deal. I set him straight. You know, your best bet is to ignore the people who downplay the seriousness of this surgery. It's enough that you and your family know what it is...anyone else who doesn't support you, don't bother. It's not worth wasting your energy.

Laura Jean, I get that all the time. The "Boy, you're so lucky not to have your periods anymore." Or my favourite: "I wish I could do that and not worry about having my periods every month." I AM lucky not to have my periods anymore ...I still giggle when I pass the feminine protection isle in the store...but I have suffered a lot to get to where I am now. My recovery may have been uneventful, but it wasn't easy. Those kinds of comments, I have come to realize, come from total lack of knowledge and (yes, even a sincere) wish to be totally free from "Aunt Flo's" monthly visit. Don't take your friend's "jealousy" personally. She probably doesn't understand what you will go through...she's probably, in her own way, trying to make you feel better.

Hang in there.
Unread 04-28-2002, 03:30 PM
re: No big deal(yeah right)

I think my biggest problem is looking at my own surgery to come that way. Trying to make it less of a big deal.

I have a wonderful doctor who specializes in endo and he does the surgery through laparoscopy. So the pre-op sheet of information I got from his office lists his "minor" surgeries: laparoscopy, TLH, HSG, etc. I thought to myself (and even posted a question yesterday) "minor?" His surgical nurse said that since it isn't a large incision that they consider it "minor" surgery, only a few laprascopic "punches" and all incisions internal. They don't even consider it vaginally assisted. They take the uterus/cervix out of the vagina, but make all cuts and incisions through the laparoscopy, so it is considered a laparoscopy with only one night in the hospital, home the next day.

It bothers me. One minute I'm feeling like the world's about to end, the next minute I don't want to get out of bed (getting a bit depressed) the next minute I feel like I should just "buck up" and get it over with, even the doctor feels it's "minor."

I know that is not true. And my dh knows it isn't true. I'm the last hold out who doesn't know what to believe. I'm so glad someone brought this subject up. I felt very alone with these feelings. My surgery is two weeks from Wednesday. The worst part is we have to drive 2-1/2 hours away from home to get to the hospital where I'm having it done. (I found a specialist, out of plan for my hmo, but it's worth it, he's a wonderful surgeon/doctor.) I'm worried about driving up to the hospital the night before (after doing the bowel prep) and I'm worried about the drive home the next day!
Minor!?! I'm scared, depressed and trying to get a months worth of work done in two weeks.
Thank goodness I found this site. I have someone understanding to vent to in addition to my dh, who at times is tongue tied at what to say to me.
Unread 04-28-2002, 03:43 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

Of course this is MAJOR surgery. Yes it is horribly scary. It is almost 4 weeks since I had my TAH on 4-8. I was so scared, I was even thinking of writing a will for my Daughter, ( I am a single Mom) I couldn't sleep, eat, work, think. I was so consumed with fear I just made myself sick. The day of my surgery I thought that I was doomed, I was so afraid. All the support I was getting still didn't take that FEAR away, that is normal. I was in a lot of pain when I woke up from surgery, the next day was painful but, I got out of bed with the nurses and walked the halls, it was painful but, I knew it was what was best for me to heal. I went home on day 3 and had my Mom and Daughter take awesome care of me. By week 2 I was feeling better and now I feel INCREDIBLE! I am so glad I had this done ( I had super heavy bleeding that is why they took out uterus and cervix, left in ovaries). You will be just fine, think about how wonderful you will feel when it's all over. We are all praying for you and then you can write your story for someone else when you are better to help them through this. I know it's hard to think about but, you will be just wonderful when done!!!
Unread 04-28-2002, 04:38 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

Hysters are a big deal!! It is also Major surgery. I don't know why people take it so lightly. I know several people said to me that "they have been doing this surgery for many years. It's routine." That I guess was supposed to ease my mind but it didn't.

I will say that the waiting was the worst part of having this surgery. Allow yourself plenty of time to recover and take it very easy. Don't do stuff just because you think you are feeling better. REST REST REST!!!
Unread 04-28-2002, 04:44 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

Thank you everyone for your responses and for making me feel like I'm not alone. That's why I love this site......everyone is so supportive and no matter what is going on with me, I know I'm not alone...although it feels like it sometimes.

I love you guys!!!
Unread 04-28-2002, 05:21 PM
I second that!

I agree! Just reading all of these wonderful responses has made me feel 100% better. I am just so tired of everyone expecting me to behave the way they think I should. This is my body and my life and this was a huge decision that came after much suffering. I told my Dr about this site and he wrote it down so he could tell other women! How great is that! Thanks again for the wonderful words and encouragement!!

TaraLee TAH 4/30/02 for endo, fibroids and possible adeno
Unread 04-28-2002, 05:31 PM
huge deal

it is a huge deal and I'm right there with you. However I seem to be getting the opposite response. " You'll never feel the same" "you have no idea how long it takes to get over this."
I hope I never feel this bad again and I don't care how long it takes if I just feel better. Good luck on Tuesday your in my prayers.

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