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No big deal(yeah right!) No big deal(yeah right!)

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Unread 04-28-2002, 05:56 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

Lori, you just tell those people that you cannot wait to be done with all the problems you have been having. And you will be better than ever!

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Unread 04-28-2002, 06:34 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

pasdechat et al - Popular subject you started here, pas!! You ARE going through major surgery, and there is a long recovery period compared to many other surgeries, so don't let people tell you that it's no big deal - it is. I think that most people who downplay the seriousness of this surgery are either uninformed and/or ARE trying to make you feel better or not worry you more than they think you are already. And I also felt that it was didn't accomplish that, but it just felt like they didn't care about my concerns. I learned quickly who I could and couldn't talk to about it.

Laura Jean - I had several women tell me THEY wish they could do this, that they were jealous of me (and since my surgery was because of possible cancer, I was thinking, "yeah..right". I suspect that their comments were mostly a "boy, I wish I didn't have to have my period and all the connected problems anymore". They're certainly not thinking of the surgery and the recovery!!

ggkl1989 - Hang in there - the world isn't gonna end, but you have every right to be scared about this. I can tell you that for me, the waiting was indeed the hardest part. Don't worry about getting all the work done - it'll keep! You make sure you take care of YOU! And yes, our husbands just don't always know what to say, as understanding as they may be, so it's great to have people who've been there to talk to.

You'll do fine on the drive to and from the hospital - there are bound to be bathrooms along the way if you need them. Bring a pillow for the ride home to stick under your seatbelt, and just have your hubby take it easy over bumps as much as he can.

Lori - everyone who tells you how their hyst went is speaking from their own experiences, and they differ tremendously. No one can predict for sure how long it will take you to recover or how easy or difficult it will be. There are just too many unknown factors. I have had a very easy recovery from my hyst - some of it was because I was in good shape before, some because I didn't have a lot of other procedures done, and some was just plain old good luck that I didn't have any complications and that my body didn't have any weird reactions to the procedures or meds. But you WILL get over it, and I'm betting you WON'T feel the same - you'll feel BETTER!!!

Unread 04-29-2002, 12:50 AM
No big deal(yeah right!)

Just wanted to jump in here and say, I have lost a few friendships (including my now former 'best friend' of 20+ years) because of all the problems I had with my pre-op waiting time (I was on Lupron for a while there), and with the surgery itself. When I lost my mom in December of 2000, there were a few people then who pretty much dropped off the face of the earth where I was concerned, and it really hurt.

The fact of it is, these are the times when you find out what people are really made of. The people I thought would be concerned and be here for me, well, many of them have not, and have let me down in a big way. But then, other people have surprised me by offering to help, wanting to listen, calling to see how I am doing, just being really supportive. I can't say it's the same as having a CLOSE friend or family member do those things for you, but maybe these are the turning points in our lives when we need to jettison those undeserving, energy-sucking, time-wasting fair-weather 'friends' (was that description long enough? ).

I've had a lot of time on my hands during recovery and have mulled a lot of this over. I've even decided to cut ties with a few people who didn't do anything particularly wrong. I've just outgrown them at this point and need to move on to a better quality of life. That includes friends and associates who really appreciate me and are there for me when I need them, just like I am there for them.

Well that is my ramble-du-jour, hope you all have enjoyed it.

Take care sisters, not only is the surgery a big deal - WE are a big deal too!!

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Unread 04-29-2002, 04:36 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

Well, I'm sorry to say and I'm glad to say that I'm not alone in this. Reading everyone's responses has helped me change my attitude about this. I will no longer waste my energy worrying about people who just don't care(atleast I'll try). I don't need another thing to add stress to my life right now, so I will just come here for support and to the people in my life that are willing to give it.

Thanks everyone
Unread 04-29-2002, 04:54 PM

I think it's a major surgery. I've never had any surgery. I'm a wreck thinking about the cutting, the anthesia will I wake up. The thought of never being able to be pregnant again scares me, my son is 22. I have never wanted another child but after my surgery, I won't have a choice. Giving up something from my body scares me. The only thing that makes this choice livable is the thought of not bleeding again. Not carrying around a clean set of clothes, the towel on the seat, the plastic bags, washclothes. wearing sanitary pads all the time.I am starting to countdown. May 17th will be here before I know it. somedays I just sit and cry others I laugh and can't wait. my whole body trembles with fear, my hands shake awful, but I don't want to bleed anymore!
Unread 04-29-2002, 05:03 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

Or even if they DO care and just don't know how to show it, don't waste your energy worrying about it. Love them for what they are, and don't stress about what they aren't. Don't let it become about YOU :-)
Unread 04-29-2002, 05:07 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

I'm coming in on the tail-end of this thread but I just wanted to put in my two cents' worth. My TAH/BSO was three months ago and I am feeling fine now, but believe me, I experienced the same things you are. My own daughter, who is an adult, acted for the most part like I was making a big deal out of this surgery. I remember posting something about it pre-op. I don't think she would have even come to the hospital on the day of the surgery if I hadn't told her how important it was to me.

And that's another thing. She was there at the hospital with me when I went into surgery, but she left during the operation because she had made other plans! She was not there when I woke up. Luckily there were no complications, but no way, NO HOW would I leave the hospital until I knew that she was ok, if the tables were turned. I shed many tears over her casual attitude, but I have since decided that it's a waste of time and tears. She is what she is. I know she loves me, but she just doesn't "get it." Her feeling is that this surgery is done all the time, no big deal. Well, when it's happening to you, it IS a big deal! Being anesthetized, cut open, organs removed and staying in the hospital for 3-4 days is MAJOR!

And with all due respect to everyone who says that the waiting is the hard part, I don't agree. Waiting IS hard, but the recovery for this surgery is long and just about the hardest thing I ever went through. And I have been through c-section. I had no complications and a relatively easy recovery, but what our bodies go through certainly takes its toll, emotionally and physically.
Unread 04-29-2002, 05:16 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)

Sorry, my last post was a reply to pasdechat - Ramona's post wasn't there when I wrote it :-)

Ramona - it IS major surgery, and all of your fears and concerns are very normal. But it really won't seem so scary after it's over. Keep in mind that this is a very common sugery -and what that means is that the docs that do it do it all the time..lots of practice!!

I think most of us have the fear of not waking up from anesthesia, but again, they do this ALL the time, and complications are rare. It helped me to talk to one of the anesthesiologists at the hospital - you might try calling them and getting some reassurance. One possibility you may want to consider is a spinal, rather than general anesthesia. That's what I had for my hyst and it was great! Though I don't recall any of it and they did knock me out toward the end, I'm told. But many people have general anesthesia with no problems, as well!

Being brave (which you are) is going through with something that scares you despite the fact that you are afraid. Hang in there - the waiting was the hardest part of this for me!!

Unread 04-29-2002, 05:41 PM
No big deal(yeah right!)


First, I'm so sorry that your daughter wasn't there for you the way you needed her :-(. Sounds like your attitude about it is great, though - she loves you, but she just didn't get it!

Second, you are very right that the recovery is long, and some women have a very hard time through it - I certainly don't think any of us want to minimize the problems they have. As you say, even for those of us who have an easy recovery, it does take its toll.

I can't speak for others, but when I say that the waiting was the hardest part, I mean mentally - particularly in terms of the fear and worry that most of us feel post-op. The recovery process has been different - more a matter of dealing with discomfort, being patient and not overdoing things (as someone who is always zipping from one thing to another, it was hard to NOT overdo :-). Easier, for me. And you have every right to disagree - our experiences are NOT all the same.


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