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Moster Butterflies for May 7 check up Moster Butterflies for May 7 check up

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Unread 04-29-2002, 06:59 PM
Moster Butterflies for May 7 check up

Hello Sisters

I'm 7 months post op and doing well physically, but it been a rough ride emotionally. (I posted early on in my recovery in aching hearts and the Oz site and had such wonderful caring responses - to all those special people thank you)

Please don't get me wrong I'm so very thankful that my brush with cancer has been just that. But right now I'm about to see the Gyn for my first vault smear and I feel so stressed about it. You'd think that after 2 years of quarterly paps to monitor my Cin III andenocarinoma in situ (ACIS) while I struggled to come to terms with loosing my womb and any chance of children, yet another smear would be a breeze!

I keep telling myself that everything will be fine that the Dr got everything, the pathology after sugery indicated no cancer found in the uterus. But I still feel as if the top of my head will blow off with the tension and I'm so weepy. My Gyn tells me I'll have to have smears every year for the rest of my life - I have to trust it gets easier to cope with these unfound fears in time!

I know the waiting is the hardest part perhaps it's just as well I seem to have forgotten the stress and worry of the two years, before I had the surgery. No doubt at all I'm just creating mountains out of molehills. But I needed to vent and perhaps to hear that what I feel is "normal"

Thanks for listening to me whinge HUGS to all.

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Unread 04-29-2002, 09:14 PM
Moster Butterflies for May 7 check up


I don't think there's a one of us around here that haven't felt this fear leading up to a checkup. There's a term that our Katie calls it - "Cancer Head". Very fitting I'm thinking.

Whenever there's any type of cancer involved, it brings a whole new set of worries, regardless of what you went through prior to the surgery.

So, yeap, this fear is very normal and we'll all be praying for good news and a great results from your checkup. Please let us know how it goes when you hear.


Unread 04-30-2002, 04:07 AM
Moster Butterflies for May 7 check up

s Caraj

Yeap!! I too know that fear very well. My next big three month checkup is coming up in mid May. The scary thoughts creep in from time to time. I just refuse to let the fear rule me. But by the morning of the checkup my knees will be putty. Try to keep busy in the days leading up to...........
Hope it goes well.

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Unread 04-30-2002, 04:58 AM
Moster Butterflies for May 7 check up

Hi Caraj, oh yes you are definately suffering from cancer head.

We all go through it at some stage, usually before checkups but occassionaly at other times. Dont know what triggers it but it is sure hard to get rid of. But posting here about it is a great thing to do as you will realize that you are normal :eyes:

Having cancer can have a big impact on our lives and though you have been given the all clear ,there is always that niggling doubt , the what ifs ... oh I know them too well. I cry, my body tingles with anxiety . I dont have an answer or a solution . Just know that we are always here for you and we all know exactly what you are going through . You are in good company

Sending lots of hugs and love to you x x by the way, caraj, where in Australia do you live?
Unread 04-30-2002, 06:28 AM
Good Luck!!

My thoughts will be with you as you go for your check-up.

I am a "pre" mie so to speak, I am to schedule my surgery at my appointment this Thursday, and am not looking forward to all of the poking and prodding the Dr. will have to do either - and I havn't even had the surgery yet I am scared they will find "it" at a more serious state just before surgery and I'll lose more than just my cervix and uterus...(I've taken 7 months to make my decision to have hysterectomy due to displaysia and Adenocarcinoma-in-situ).

I'm trying to find comfort in knowing that I am doing all I can to avoid an even more uncomfortable procedure/treatment if I "let it go" for a while.

I don't think your fears are unfounded, we all have them and we are all here for you!

PS If you ever thought you were up to it and wanted to talk more about Adenocarcinoma in situ - I am still searching for all of the facts I can and any that you can share would be appreciated!!

Unread 04-30-2002, 07:41 AM
Checkup Stress

I understand that feeling and the stress that builds. Unless you've been through it, no one really does. On my last visit, I had something I finally had to tell the doctor that's been affecting how I look at the disease and mentioned this to the nurse. He came and asked what the important matter was and all I could do was yell, "What's the CA125?" at him. Sending a big and hoping the news is excellent. Please let us know the results. Ellen
Unread 04-30-2002, 09:11 AM
Moster Butterflies for May 7 check up


I have my "first" check up May 20, and all my tests on the 10th. I'm a nervous wreck 1/2 the time (the other 1/2 I completely ignore it). I'm just writing all my questions down and all my real and imagined aches and pains so I can be sure to get it all out!

I asked the office nurse to schedule me for a "double" because my list was getting quite long. She laughed and said EVERYONE gets a little nuts for their first couple of check ups. This helped me a lot because I thought the doctor would think all my worries were silly.

Lots of luck for your apt. on the 7th. Just a week.....

Unread 05-01-2002, 02:19 AM
Thanks for caring!!

Hello All

A zillion thanks for helping me with my nasty jumbo butterflies, you have no idea how crazy I feel and knowing I'm not alone makes me feel alittle less MAD. Had such a teary day today and here was me thinking all the tears had been shed. Dammd if I know where they come from!!!

I'll let you know how it goes I'm sure everything will be good news but there is always that little 'but' lurking.

Hugs to you all and once again thank you for your wonderful support.


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