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  #11  
Unread 05-04-2002, 09:46 PM
I'm afraid

Rose, I will be at Riverview Medical Center in Red Bank. We live in Fair Haven so this is right down the street from us.

My daughter was born at Robert Woods. It is an excellent hospital and I am sure you will be in good hands.

I will surly let you know EVERYTHING I can, as soon as I can. What is your email?

You know I think it is the choice thing here that is getting to me. It is not a matter of life or death, THANK GOD, becasue if it was of course I wouldn't be second guessing myself. And the thing about it is, I thought I did make up my mind. Why am I doing this BS head stuff to myself. I thought I was resolved. I liked it when I felt resolved and comfortable. Why now am I doing this.

I remember the night before my wedding feeling something similar. I was, still am, crazy in love with my then future husband and wanting deeply to spend the rest of my life with him. But the night before my wedding I all of a sudden thought, "I'm not sure if I love him", "I can't marry him if have doubts", "What am I going to do?"

I have no idea why that just popped into my mind, but it is all true. Maybe that is what this is all about. Just plain jitters. It is truly amazing what your mind can do to you. It can make you crazy. That is how I'm feeling, crazy and dumb and like a moron cause I can't remember all the reassuring things my doc told me.

Anyway, thanks again Rose. LIZ

Sorry to blab so much like this.
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  #12  
Unread 05-04-2002, 09:51 PM
I'm afraid

Hi
You and I are have surgery on the same day. I too have fears and have worked really hard to deal with them. Try to look at things in a rational way, it helps to keep things in perspective.

First remember your are doing this as a positive step in your life, you made this decision to make your life better. It's a good thing to be doing, scary but good, think how much better things will be after you're all healed!

Trust your doctor, he's done this before, ask questions and do what he says. They don't tell us to do things for the fun of it, that's why we went to them in the first place, we have to let them help us.

No we won't turn into old ladies over night, my doctor, who happens to be a good friend told be that I would be the same beuatiful sexy woman I've always been. Beside that, who's beautiful or sexy when they hurt or are in pain or bleeding all the time.

I have to have my ovary removed, I already have one gone so I already know I'll be starting HRT. Yes, I went off the deep end over it at first, but Keith my doctor, sat and went over it all with me and explained that my body would not even know the difference between what the ovary was doing and what hormones he was replacing. If done right he said you never notice the switch, so neither does you're body, so none of those nasty symtoms of menopause. At least not for now, some day when I older, at the time when I would have naturally had it happen I'll be weaned off the HRT .

Don't cancel your surgery, you've made it this far, it would be like climbing a mountain and getting almost to the summit and sliding down again, you'd just have to climb again. You'll do fine, you're stronger than you think you are, find that strength and hold on. Think of the good things on the other side. I hope you'll e-mail at KSPrecht @aol.com when you get home from the hospital and let me know how it went. I'll be think about you. Kathy
  #13  
Unread 05-04-2002, 09:56 PM
I'm afraid

I had my daughter in Riverview and I got such great care there too! How ironic is that. Your having your hyst where I had my child and I am having my hyst where you had your child. (by the way both daughters) (I am freaked out now!)

My e-mail address is [email protected]

I freaked out before my wedding also. No sleep that night for me and it is reflected in my wedding pictures. I kept thinking can I spend the rest of my life with one person, am I good enough for him. We are still together 10 years later. So I guess women from Jersey think alike.
E-mail me whenever you want to. By the way, I live in Old Bridge.

Rose
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  #14  
Unread 05-04-2002, 09:58 PM
I'm afraid

Didi, your message made me cry. Sometimes certain words just hit you and yours hit me. Thank you, thank you. You are so right. God this is such a "all-in-your-head-thing". I am feeling like I don't have control of my thoughts. Thank you for your prayers. I believe in prayer. I really do. And I will be praying for all of us tonight (I know I won't be sleeping, that's for sure)

Anyway, thank you Didi. Your message was great. In fact I am going to print out all the replies to my troubled note, andI am going to keep reading them. I still don't have a grip just yet. I want to be in control of my thoughts and emotions and I am not there just yet. Thank for the prayers. LIZ
  #15  
Unread 05-04-2002, 10:13 PM
I'm afraid

Oh Kathy,
Thank you so very much. You have no idea how your words have made me feel. I feel so gratful to you for that message. I read it four times. I don't want to cancel. I don't want to have to start the climb all over again. I am very proud I have made it this far and I do know it will make my life normal. You are so right about my doctors. And I do trust them very much. But I am sittting here tonight and I can't remember one reassuring thing they told me. My mind is blank. If I could call them right now I would. You are so right about everything you said. Thank you Kathy. I am going to go read your message again, right now. I will let you know how I make out asap. Thanks for your email address. Thanks for your message. LIZ
  #16  
Unread 05-04-2002, 10:23 PM
I'm afraid

Soulful, I will email you. Thank you for your address. Your mesage was very encouraging to me. I am so happy to hear, for your sake (and a little for mine) about how well your are feeling. Thank you so much for your wonderful words. It makes me feel better that my impulse to call off this surgery that I have been waiting for and planning for is not so weird or unusual. You are very sweet. Thank you for you help and kindness. God Bless. LIZ
  #17  
Unread 05-04-2002, 10:30 PM
I'm afraid

.TkaLiz

I glad I can help, I want you to know that I have been where you are. I canceled a suregery fron sheer fear. I'll tell you not a good thing to do. I was lucky, Keith re-schedule it for 4 days later, on his day off so as I couldn't run again. I've seen a theapist this time around. It's taken me a while to get to this point, I know how tough it is. I hope you have someone who you love and trust to go with you Tuesday. My hubby and my therapist, who happens to be my neighbor and friend are going to be with me.

To be honest with you, I can't wait to have a pain free sex life again, and also, no more periods, ever! That's not a bad trade off for a couple a days of discomfort!

Have you had surgery before, my fear comes from too much knowledge, I've had 13 before this one, and have been conditioned to expect to feel crummy. But in all reality, its no where near as bad as my mind makes it out to be. The docs do a great job of taking care and it sounds like you have trust in yours.
Well, I'm off for tonight, we're really in this together girl, so e-mail me, I'm here if you need me. Kathy
  #18  
Unread 05-04-2002, 10:42 PM
I'm afraid

Rose,

My husband and I have been married for 11 yrs. Almost the same as you again. That is so funny about the hospitals and daughters. How old is your daughter? Ours is 10. We also have a beautiful little 2 yr. old daughter. We feel very blessed and fortunate.

I will indeed email you as soon as I can. I am feeling better (I think) I think I might try going to sleep even. I am starting to feel calmed down. Actually, I am starting to feel exhausted.

What a wonderful thing this message board is? It's like a gift. I feel grateful to it.

Thanks for your help and support tonight Rose. Take care. LIZ
  #19  
Unread 05-05-2002, 03:50 AM
Hey there Liz!

Another Jersey girl here. (I actually work for Robert Wood Johnson... well actually for UMDNJ which is connected to it) Oddly though, I'm having my surgery at Community Medical Center in Toms River because that is where my doc is.

NOW, Liz, about menopause..remember we are all different! I'm 45 and went through natural menopause by the time I was 41. I tried HRT and didn't respond well (probably because I have Lupus). HOWEVER, after a brief spell of really bad hot flashes, life was never better. ALL of me worked better than it had for years (with the added bonus that my lupus settled down and went into remission). My mom went through the change at 42 and didn't even know it had happened; she thought she was pregnant! Since things went amok with my system I've started menstruating again at odd times (thus they discovered my cancer) and I've been miserable. I can hardly wait to get all those hormone producing things out o me and get back to that nice even me I was for the last 4 years.

Meanwhile, my thirty year old friends still think I'm their age. They always get a kick when I remind them that I'm ten or more years older. The years without hormones didn't hurt me a bit. I have fewer wrinkles than most of my younger friends, my bones are still solid, I walk two miles a day, and I've actually been losing weight because I felt better without all the dang hormonal ups and downs and am probably more active. Sooooooo don't figure on the worst. It may be the best thing that ever happened to you!

Love ya!

Hat
---------------

TAH/BSO coming up TUESDAY eeeek! Endometrial Cancer....we think
  #20  
Unread 05-05-2002, 04:07 AM
Hi Liz

My Mom had a TAH-BSO when she was 37. She is now 53 and can eaily run circles around other people her age as well as younger! She is a vibrant, energetic woman who people mistake as being quite a bit younger. Take heart. You will not feel OLD!
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