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Unread 05-07-2002, 07:56 AM
Losing it

You know, it has just dawned on me this morning that there is a reason that they call us "PATIENTS".

I am STILL waiting for a date for my TAH and now it seems that there is a surgeons' strike looming. If it happens (they've stopped even talking about talking about negotiations) only urgent procedures will be done (life and death situations). I've been classified as semi-urgent so I guess 'quality of life' situations don't count.

This has been the longest year of my life and I am so TIRED. I'm TIRED of pain, I'm TIRED of hemmoragh-like bleeding, I'm TIRED of celibacy, I'm TIRED of being TIRED.

I try to stay positive and to keep focused on a future free of all of this but, despite outward appearances, the truth is I feel like I am about to burst into tears much of the time. (This is completely unlike me.)

This site has helped so much. Thank you all from the depths of my heart. I guess this last 'glitch' has just really thrown me for a loop.

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Unread 05-07-2002, 08:08 AM
Hi Cecee

I am so sorry you have to wait...and wait...and wait...

My 8th grade teacher always said to us "patience is a virture". I still hear him saying that to this day. I guess you will be very virtuous (and relieved!) when you finally get this over with.

I have never heard of a surgeon's strike but obviously things are different in Canada. I do hope they get it worked out soon for you and many others.

Please don't hesitate to ask your doctor for something to help you get through this time. Many women have needed a little extra (medical) support to see them through. Nothing wrong with that.

You mentioned being tired. Are you anemica? If so please be sure you are getting the iron supplements you need. Check with the doc on that. I was anemic and know how that can wear you out on all levels.

I've been to Victoria and know how beautiful an area it is. I hope you can get out to Butchart Gardens or somewhere wonderful to enjoy Spring and lift your spirits.

Unread 05-08-2002, 09:31 AM
Losing it

Thank you for your kind words of support, Shelley.

Today feels better. I took your advice and went to my favorite spot and looked out at the ocean and the mountains and the brilliant sunshine and "gave my head a shake".

The old adage about the glass being half full or half empty came to mind and I just sat silently with a smile growing on my face when I thought of all the incredible blessings in my life, the beauty of my surroundings and all the scary things I'd been tested for and DON'T have to deal with.

I will keep in mind the idea of asking for medicinal help if those feelings return and I'm unable to cope with them - I agree that, short-term, meds can be a much-needed tool for getting through tough times.

I rarely get mired in that 'poor me' kind of thinking and your comments really helped me get a grip - particularly when you mentioned all the other women here who are also affected by the strike.

I'm not sure how sisters become hostesses - whether they're chosen somehow or just offer to share their wisdom but you are definitely someone with the skills and sensitivity to do the job!

Many thanks,
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Unread 05-08-2002, 09:54 AM
Losing it

Dear Cecee...

So sorry that you are going through all this, I can feel for you! Here is a BIG for you
One thing we here in Canada can be thankful for is our healthcare system... care is there for everyone...it is one of the best in the world! It may not be perfect but consider what all these girls in the USA have to put up with...insurance, HMO's, having to qualify,being told which DR you can see, how long you can stay in the "castle", ETC... their system is not a good one!
Unread 05-08-2002, 06:04 PM
Losing it

Hi Kathy!

Thank you. You're so right that our healthcare system lets us not have to deal with so many of the stresses our American sisters face.

I read a thread where they discussed, in U.S. dollars, what the costs of procedures were - there is no way I could have afforded the diagnostic stuff I've had done so far, let alone the hyst.

And then I read about insurance situations where they refused to cover hysts that were clearly indicated and MADE women take BCPs before they would even consider funding surgery. How incredibly frustrating and disempowering that must be to be forced into putting meds into your body that you don't want, in order to qualify for a procedure that you do.

On a lighter note - we may feel lucky but, I hear you have snow in May!!!! That's sure one way in which we Canadians don't have it as good as our southern sisters, "EH"!?!

Unread 05-08-2002, 07:33 PM
Losing it

Hi Cecee

Hope you are feeling better...and if the "cloud" returns do ask for some meds to help! Feeling like sh!t all the time, bleeding and being in pain affects us in soo many ways...physically and mentally! It takes its toll! Been there, done that!
Yes, we have snow in May, but should not really complain...this poor old prairie needs the moisture in any form! Along with the drought we have the added "bonus" of the grasshoppers...they are hatching, even in the snow! This year is considered "severe" for them again, last year they ate EVERYTHING..right down to the dirt!
Anyway, dear "sister" I hope you are doing okay, here is an to watch over you
Unread 05-08-2002, 08:27 PM
Losing it

Thanks Kathy!

I remember back in Ontario when we watched in horror as a swarm of tent caterpillars decimated my ex-boyfriend's fields. Absolutely powerless to do anything to stop them. As a farmer, that upcoming hatch has to be bad news for you.

I will be thinking of you and sending only good thoughts on the 27th.

right back at ya!

Unread 05-08-2002, 10:25 PM
Hi Cecee

Thank you for your kind words.
I am so glad you had a great day. I could just see the vista you were describing. It brought back some good memories of Victoria. Do you ever take "high tea" at the Queen Victoria Hotel (I think I got it right)? or is that too touristy?
It is so fun to do for us yanks!
I hope you have lot's of good days while you are waiting. It is never to early to start becoming a Pampered !
Unread 05-09-2002, 03:31 AM
Losing it

Oh, Cecee, just think of what you said..."You went to the OCEAN and you saw the mountains and the brilliant sunshine" How I envy you!

We get to go to Myrtle Beach once a year for vacation. I've really come to love the ocean. One vacation, arrangements went a little wacky and we had a few days at the ocean in Florida and then went to the mountains for a fews days in Tennessee. We absolutely thought we were in seventh heaven.

Sending you for all you are going through and what remains ahead of you. Keep those beautiful features of nature close by and hopefully enjoying their wonder and creation will help.
Unread 05-09-2002, 06:41 AM
Losing it

Dear Shelley,

Do you mean "The Empress"? I used to work in the china and crystal shop right across from the Tea Lobby in that grand old place until our lease ran out (shop was there for 15 yrs - me, only 3).

The locals tend to save their tea outings for when they have visitors from elsewhere - it's become pretty pricey (but I agree worth doing). I'm so glad that you have such fond memories of Victoria.

Dear Jeannie,

Thanks for the hug and your words of support. You're so right about how lucky we are here to be surrounded by such majesty.
I have another little spot on my way to work where I sometimes stop and look out at the Inner Harbour and go through the list of all the good things in my life - I know now that I have to get back into the habit of doing that everyday.

Thanks to you both. I AM doing better now and will add my hystersisters to that list of really good things in my life!


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