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Greetings from a new hystersister (long) Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

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  #1  
Unread 05-09-2002, 01:57 PM
Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

Hello Hystersisters

My name is Tamara, and I am scheduled for surgery 5/16/02 due to an ovarian cyst/tumor the size of a cantelope. I'd like to share my story of how I got here because I feel a great need to share after lurking here for 5 days, and in the hopes my story will help others feel that they are not alone, as the stories here have greatlly helped me! I found this site quite by accident after AOL search on everything to do with ovarian cysts/cancer and long hours of going through search pages and reading everything. What a blessing to stumble upon hystersisters. You all are corageous, brave and giving women, as there was no other site I found that gave hope, encouragement and love as this does! Thanks for being here!!!!!!

On April 1st, during exam and pap, doc felt something and commented that I had a mass. "Probably a fibroid, feels about 4 to 5 inches" Well uniformed me had no idea what a fibriod was and she sheculed an ultrasound and gave me a pamphlet on what fibroids are. I promptly went home and read all I could on fibriods. I figured that worse case scenerio, I would have one of those baby incisions and they could take the thing out. The thing I thought was strange at that point was that I had no symptons up to that point with the exception of my kangaroo pouch which I chalked up to scar tissue and three C-Sections, and had had at one size or another since my last childs birth 7 years ago. After ultrasound, received call from doc who was a bit perplexed. "Your ultrasound only showed a small fibriod in your uterus, nothing what I had felt" and sent me off to Internist. Internist examined me and also felt mass, sent me off for MIT Scan. At this point, I started to become concerned as I have always, (and believe me, never will again) taken my general good health for granted. I read all I could on the internet (still hadn't found this place yet) and my mind began to imagine the worst of all possible things happening to me. They didn't tell me until I was having Scan that they would be injecting imaging agent into my veins (had drank the barrium) at which point I was sure I was going to be the very rare instance that would have a severe reaction to the agent. I waited for the impending doom of the imaging agent with my eyes tightly squeezed shut when the Technician's voice boomed over the speaker..."You can breathe now" I pinched myself glad to still be there. The internist called me two days later with results. A 13 cenimeter cyst and referred me back to GYN. GYN examined me, showed me cyst on his ultrasound, and told me he was referring me to Oncologist, whom he would assist him in surgery. "ONCOLOGIST!!! You mean cancer? You mean cancer doctor?" I freaked, but I freaked inside. I am the strong one of my family, the glue, the one who holds it all together, the one everyone else leans on, and I couldn't even then let my fear show to my DH, DS or DD's or my mom, or my friends. I was still going to by happy go lucky Tamara, but I was flipping out inside.
I made an appt for 2 days later with onc. They told me to bring my scan films with me. As if I wasn't torturing myself enough, I decided to check out my scans with my untrained eye. Stayed up all night that night. Show up at oncologist appt with DH, to which I am informed that I was 3 hours late and doctor had left. "No, I said appt was at 1:00, I wrote it down". I pulled out the paper that I had written the time and and, sure enough I was 3 hours late. I had written 1:00 I had looked at the paper 10 times over the past 2 days and had saw 4:00, not 1:00. I lost it, and I mean lost it. I started to cry, and not just little cry. Big fat sobbing crying, saying "I'm sorry, I'm sooo sorry"I hadn't cried at all really up to this point. DH took me and made me drink a glass of wine. He told me I needed to stop this internalizing and stressing or I was going to give myself a heart attack before I could find out what I had!! I felt much better after cry and spent the next 5 days trying to keep my mind off of things while I waited to see onc. Finally, last Wednesday, I saw here. She is young, beautiful (think Meg Ryan in City of Angels) and promptly put me at ease. She spent 2 hours with me, examining me, going over my scan and explaining the surgery to me. She said that although she can't be 100% until my surgery, she doesn't see other indications of cancer, She said she thinks I have a dermoid, boderline or endo type cyst. She explained all and depending on what they find, what they will do.

After my appointment with her, I found this site. Because although I feel a little better, I have my moments...and being here helps with those moments. I am terrified of going under, but after reading from all of you how fast it seems, that helped. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. It has been hard to talk to others. Some of my friends have acted like I am contagious or something. Wierd.

Peace, love and happy hystorectomies to you all!

Tamara
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  #2  
Unread 05-09-2002, 02:55 PM
Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

Tamara,

's to you. You poor thing, it is so frustrating waiting and worrying. Please try to keep positive thoughts, I know it is hard. You will be on the road to recovery before you know it. Please stop by chat and visit us, we would love to see you there. We are here for you!!! Friends do mean well, but I don't think they know how to help and it is hard for some people to understand. Best wishes
  #3  
Unread 05-09-2002, 03:34 PM
Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

Hi Tamara,

I read your story and could really relate...unlike many of the sisters who have had gyn problems and symptoms for a long time, I didn't. Like you I look over the last few months wondering how I ended up here.

If you don't mind I'll share my experiences...in December I was diagnosed with skin cancer (melanoma which was easily removed). The surgeon sent me to an oncologist who felt that the cancer was small and had all been removed but ordered a CAT scan and PET scan. I had never had any of these kinds of tests and founded them disconcerting. Anyway the PET scan showed abnormalities in the region of my uterus where I knew I had fibroids. (Years earlier my DR had told me in a very off-handed way "You know you have fibroids". No more was said or recommended.) The oncologist was alarmed by these spots of abnormalities and sent me to a gynoncologist. The 16 day wait for that appointment was filled with many searches on the internet for info and lots of anxiety.

When DH and I finally met the gynonocologist we liked him and his approach immediately. He ordered some blood test and reviewed the ultrasound films (my regular DR had ordered the pelvic ultrasound on an emergency basis before this appointment). He said that he had little concern about cancer but thought that the fibroids which were 18 week size should be removed. He also thought I had a cyst on my right ovary. He could not explain the spots on the PET scan and seemed very uninterested in them.

I had a TAH/BSO in April. Before I left the hospital the pathology report showed no cancer. Yeah! When I see the oncologist in July I am going to ask him about those spots...evidently they were just the fibroids being fibroids. (Oh yeah I also had a dermoid cyst on my right ovary the size of a peach.)

Anyway, good luck and I agree that this site is a great place to share.

Steph
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  #4  
Unread 05-09-2002, 07:50 PM
Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

Thanks for the replies ladies, I think knowing that there are other people out there that can relate and care make all the difference! Steph, I am so glad your path showed no cancer. I appreciate you sharing you story with me. What some of the sisters here have faced have been unimaginable and their courage facing it, amazing.

Tamara
  #5  
Unread 05-10-2002, 07:33 AM
Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

<<>DH took me and made me drink a glass of wine. He told me I needed to stop this internalizing and stressing or I was going to give myself a heart attack before I could find out what I had!!>>>

Good for him! You can't internalize everything. Sometimes you have to let go and let others take care of everything else. And I'll let you know when I take my own advice. LOL
  #6  
Unread 05-10-2002, 07:48 AM
Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

Heeeey Jo!

ditto!

I've always been the one people come to when they need someone to lean on, or a rock to rest on. A couple of my friends freaked (but not too bad) when I blubbered like an idiot telling them my pre-diagnosis.....then again when I had to go out & find a new gyn. Even my gen phys was shocked when I asked for something for my nerves & then proceeded to cry hysterically about it all.



It's okay to show your weaknesses & to ask for help now & again - throwing lemons helps, does it? I'm more into stomping the grapes into wine...........

KUDOS to HysterSisters!!!!

  #7  
Unread 05-10-2002, 07:56 AM
stomping

You'd think as much as I like a fine wine, I'd be stomping the grapes and not throwing the lemons. LOL
  #8  
Unread 05-10-2002, 08:06 AM
Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

Ahhh..... but sometimes the pleasure is left to the consumption instead of the creation......................

I think there's an innuendo in there to procreation (y'know...recreational ).........if you know what I mean.

& all this without the aid of my happy pills!!!!

hoo-boy!!

  #9  
Unread 05-10-2002, 08:24 AM
Greetings from a new hystersister (long)

My story is almost exactly the same as yours. I was alarmed by the fact that a gyn. oncologist was involved, too. It is just a precaution in case it is cancer, bu they are usually not, expecially if you have no other signs. My ovarian mass was benign and they had tested it why I was in the OR, so I found out right away as soon as I woke up in recovery! (It was the first question I asked.)

Hang in there. I had finally come to a point that I decided that even if I stress about it, it won't change a thing. So I finally decided not to stress anymore and if it was cancer, well, then I would deal with it then. But since it sounds like the odds are that yours is not cancer, try to remain calm until you wake up and they tell you that.

Let us know how you do.
  #10  
Unread 05-10-2002, 09:53 PM
Neighbor

Hey Tamara,

Not only are we having our surgeries on the same day but we are practically neighbors! I live in Glendora and I actually used to live in West Covina 10 years ago. Where are you having your surgery? I am having mine at Foothill Pres. Only 6 more days left for us... good luck to you.
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