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What is Normal? (And other ramblings from a foggy brain.) What is Normal? (And other ramblings from a foggy brain.)

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Unread 05-10-2002, 11:46 AM
What is Normal? (And other ramblings from a foggy brain.)

You know, it dawned on me today as I was having lunch that my surgery is WEEK AFTER NEXT!!!!! I think that it finally hit home and I almost dropped my pizza into my salad! YIKES! I am not ready for this! (In my saner moments, I know I'm ready and anxious to get it over with. In my insaner moments, I just want to hide under the bed and forget it all.)

Then my mom called last night asking if we could go look at apartments tomorrow. We live in the same apartment complex and since she is disabled, if she moves, I need to move too. (She's got some very noisy neighbors she's trying to get away from.) I'm trying to explain to her that I can't even begin to think about moving yet, that I will be recupperating for six to eight weeks and that even after that period of time, I shouldn't be moving boxes and furniture (like I will be doing because I just can't sit back and let someone else do it.) Do you know what she said? She said, "Well, the way you're going on you'd think that they were going to saw you in half! SHEESH, MOM!!! I told her I would have hundreds of internal stitches and that it would take me at least six months to get back to normal. (I hope that wasn't pushing it too much. And as you can probably tell, I REALLY don't want to move!)

Now I'm wondering how it will feel to get back to normal and what normal is, anyway? I have felt so crummy for so long that now I don't even realize how bad I feel until I try to do something that I used to do (like walk my mile a day) and I can't do it. (I can only do 1/4 mile, and that's on my good days!) The fatigue from the anemia has just been a part of me for so long now that IT seems normal.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble. That seems to be about all I do these days. (Will I ever get back to normal that way too? To where I actually can concentrate and make sense?)

s to all my Hystersisters (and my Hyster Buddy, where ever she might be today.)

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Unread 05-10-2002, 11:58 AM
Girl, you should do stand up comedy!

Lisa, lisa, lisa...
Hey buddy. You losing it today? We have two more weekends. That's it. 12 days YIKES!!! As for your Mom, tune her out. LOL I have read some posts here where women were still not cleared by their DR's to lift more than 20 pounds for 6 months.. To me, that sounds reasonable. The last thing you want to do is damage any repairs! Or end up back in the hospital! Maybe your Mom is trying to keep you occupied in her own way so that you don't worry while you wait. Who knows. My Mom has my whole recovery planned for me. Which make me feel very guilty, btw. I am a bit stressed but had some company today that stayed for 3 hours. My niece and her new baby. She even offered to clean the house while I am recovering! She said I can keep the newborn in bed with me while she cleans. Made me cry, darn't. Sure did make the day fly by <I wish it would go FASTER!> and took my mind off the surgery. I held that little bundle for 3 whole hours! LOL
As for the pain,< I can relate> I no longer use the treadmill because I have found that it aggravates my already sore ovary and then my back really starts to hurt!
I hope you are having a great day today!
Unread 05-10-2002, 12:22 PM
Hey Tracy,

(Great, I just totally forgot what I was going to say...)

Oh, wait, I know what it was. Speaking of keeping busy, my friend Bill will be up from Miami tonight to spend the weekend with me (YIPEE!!), and my son, daughter-in-law, and my two-year-old granddaughter and three-month old grandson will be here from Jacksonville the following weekend (the one before our surgeries.) So that should keep me occupied for awhile. (I haven't seen my new grandson since he was two-weeks old.) I think I'm going to have a big family dinner and invite my newly divorced brother, his kids, and my dad and mom. (Full house.)

Anyway, I hope you are doing okay today. I was fine until that blazing revelation at Pizza Hut this afternoon. Now I'm a big puddle of gooey pepperoni-flavored nerves.


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Unread 05-10-2002, 12:24 PM
Oh, by the way...

When my mom said that about sawing me in half, I had this mental picture of me in a hospital gown and pair of socks lying in one of those magician's boxes with my GYN standing over me in a surgical mask and black top hat with a saw.

I really must tame this imagination of mine before it gets me in trouble!
Unread 05-10-2002, 02:53 PM
What is Normal? (And other ramblings from a foggy brain.)

Just remember, after being sawed in half the beautiful woman always jumps right up, smiling, good as new.

Don't let your mom push you. If she arranges "moving day" before you are ready - make her hire and pay for movers.
Unread 05-10-2002, 04:07 PM
What is Normal? (And other ramblings from a foggy brain.)

I get what you are saying...I have been thinking those same things! And my surgery is the same day as yours too...so I guess we will find out at the same time if we will get our "normal" selves back.
I have been really depressed this week, and everyone keeps saying i should be happy since it will "all be over soon." But no one understands what it is like to live with this constant state of being where a GOOD day is being able to get through work and maybe a walk on the treadmill at the gym without passing out or feeling like crap...or sleeping well all night. I get scared that I have forgotten what "normal" means. But whatever...I should work on my optimism and positive thinking and stop being such a crybaby!
I am seeing this gynecological psychologist who is really helpful and understanding...especially when it seems no one can relate. I am hoping when all this is over i will not need her anymore!

Hang in there, we will be OK!

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