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2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice 2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice

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Unread 05-10-2002, 09:27 PM
2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice

Hi, Everyone~

I'm new to all of this and feel so lost, angry, sad, depressed, confused, and (lets see...which adjective haven't I used yet)...oh yeah, bewildered. I'm desperately trying to maintain my sense of humor when I just want to run screaming down the street. My diagnosis is severe complex atypical hyperplasia not far from carcinoma...as diagnosed by the friendly pathologists at Harvard Medical School (well, if I wasn't smart enough to go, at least part of my uterus made it).

This is the second time I've been diagnosed with atypia and my OB wants to do a full hyster. The first diagnosis was with my 8th OB...he didn't find it, but his wonderful P.A. did. He treated me for infertility in spite of the atypia and I had a normal pregnancy and normal biopsy afterwards. This time I wasn't so lucky. The second opinion doc they sent me to was on the faculty at Northwestern in Chicago and said I can try Megace and another d & c in 6 weeks or so or have the hyster...20 - 30% chance that I have some carcinomic invasion of the uterus.

I scheduled the surgery (because a 1 in 3 or 1 in 5 chance is a bit too close for comfort) and change my mind every 5 minutes. They told me the only reliable way to know if I have cancer is to remove the offending parts and examine them under a microscope. Sorry, but with all of the marvels of modern medicine this is the best they can do?????? I'm not ready to give up my uterus yet, but am absolutely petrified that I have endometrial cancer. Why? It killed my Mother 13 years after she had her hyster and radiation.

Everyone around me is being as supportive as they can, but they have no way to come close to understanding what I'm feeling or thinking. My husband thinks I'll be up and about and back to normal in a matter of days, just like the last d & c. I love him to pieces, but he's a guy...he doesn't "get" it. I'm hoping there's someone out there who has been down this road already and can hold my hand. My Mom is gone and my best friend is the mother of 1 year old twins and will be moving 1500 miles away a week after my hyster. I don't mean to sound so pathetic, but I don't think I can face this alone.

I've been reading some of your posts in this section and crying my eyes out because there are so many of you who have come together in a great time of need to support one another. Your strength and courage is amazing and I hope some of it rubs of on me. Perhaps when I get through all of this...I'll be able to hold someone else's hand...
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Unread 05-11-2002, 06:45 AM

While my cancer and situation are different from yours, I can certainly offer support and a big "hug:

It IS hard to know what anyone else is thinking or feeling when faced with a potential cancer diagnosis and then surgery. All of a sudden, the world does a lot of extra spins and some dips and we're out there with nothing to hold onto and big changes and challenges we didn't ask for and don't want. Whew!

What can I say--post any time and we'll be here for you. There are no unpostable questions. This is a great group. I'd also recommend if you have questions or concerns about the surgery itself checking out and posting on the pre-op board. If I'd found it before my surgery last year, I'd have been much better informed!

Also, you may want your husband at the pre-op so he can learn this isn't a D&C but major surgery and you won't spring back in a few days. Getting it first hand from the doctor may help it sink in.
Unread 05-11-2002, 06:46 AM

mistyped. Should've been for the hug I was sending you.
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Unread 05-11-2002, 09:47 AM
2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice

s to You

If it helps any, I too would have made the same decision you have. Your husband will catch on quickly, that this is no D and C. I agree with Margaret. Make sure he is at one of the pre op visits with you!
You touched me by talking about how alone you feel. What a time to miss your mom and best friend. We are all sisters on this forum. In the truest sense of the word. Nothing like sharing your feelings with women who have been there and done that and truly understand. Come back often as we are open 24 hours a day with our Robyn posting from Australia.
My thoughts and prayers are with you!

s karenann
Unread 05-12-2002, 12:30 PM
2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice





Unread 05-12-2002, 12:32 PM
2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice

Unread 05-12-2002, 01:43 PM
Hi Debindiego

Welcome to Cancer Concerns I am glad you found us.
I am sorry you are facing this surgery and possible cancer diagnosis. It is not easy to face this or make the choices especially if they are not absolutely positive of the severity of the situation. But, it would be so hard to live with this uncertainty.
I had Endometrial Cancer too. Fortunately it was found early and the cure for me, as for most of us, was the hysterectomy. We are indeed fortunate that no further treatment is usually necessary.
No one can understand what we are feeling at this time. And I think the men in our families have an especially hard time understanding or knowing what to say or do. But yes, I do think it is important to educate DH at the doctor's visit's etc. We also have links to some photo's of the surgery on the Pre-Op site.
Warning these photo's are very graphic.
Please feel free to email me anytime if I can help in anyway or answer any questions. We all came to this site for the first time one day too. You are not alone. We are here for you.
Unread 05-12-2002, 07:57 PM
2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice

Thankyou, Ladies...I was on the verge of giving up on this site when I got your messages of support. There are some people out here who want to keep reminding me that I haven't been through the surgery yet, so I can't possibly really understand what it is like. That's true, but I think about it 24/7 so the reminders have been a little like a slap in the face.

I'm thankful to have a good doctor who caught this before it got worse (she was #11...I was pretty persistent) and I'm thankful for a place of kindred spirits who lend a little lift when you feel yourself sinking into despair.

Thanks again for the boost! to all of you!
Unread 05-13-2002, 06:05 AM
2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice

I'm sorry to hear you have to go through all of these fears and emotions. It is so hard to wait for answers. It helped me to keep very busy, so my mind did not go into overdrive.

I laughed when you said part of your uterus went to Harvard!! I just had a radical hysterectomy five weeks ago, and that's where everything of mine is!!

I remember reading someone's post about their recovery and their family just did not understand they were still recovering weeks after surgery, so to make them understand this person stayed all day in her pj's!! I took that advice a couple of days, and it worked!!

's to you. Take one day at a time.
Unread 05-14-2002, 04:03 PM
2 weeks until I find out if I made the right choice

Hi Deb~

All of us here understand the fears as we have been faced with the same 'C' word and been frightened, too. It must be even more scarey to you as you lost your mom to it, as well. All the more reason to be concerned and to want to go ahead with the surgery.

Before I had this surgery, although I was very upset about having cancer, when my Dr. told me I would be off work for 7 weeks I thought she was giving me a nice long vacation because she liked me. I really had no idea what a big deal it really is until I was the one with 24 staples across my abdomen and nausea and dizzyness 24/7 for 3 months. I had a chemo organ wash and between that and the anesthesia, I just couldn't get myself together too quickly. Some of the ladies feel much better alot faster, and some of us have ongoing issues after surgery.

If it wasn't for the ladies here, I would have been very lost and alone, too. Although my friends were supportive, they just didn't understand the length of time it takes to recover. They would come and pick me up for lunch 6 weeks after surgery and were shocked that I just had to go home and go to bed after lunch. I didn't have the energy for shopping or a movie or even for much chatter.

I hope you visit often and share with us your thoughts as you travel this road. We do care and we are here for you whenever you need a .



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