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SOS - "Sisters Offering Support" SOS - "Sisters Offering Support"

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  #1  
Unread 05-14-2002, 12:42 AM
SOS - "Sisters Offering Support"

This is my first posting, and its an SOS....

I took the user name of a White-faced Storm-Petrel (true name, really!) because it really resonated with me....facing this new life storm, white-faced from fear....!!! Then I found from a friend of mine who sailed the Antarctic that Storm-Petrels fly in under the storm clouds and withstand the worst of the cold artic storms 'on the wing' - they are strong, and fast and stable in the harshest winds. Seemed like a good example and certain inspiration.

I just got the news last week and its going to be a full hysterectomy (I get to keep my ovaries) with reconstructive surgery to repair the Marshall-Marchetti-Kranz I got in 1987. I won't need chemo, that's the good news, seems things are localised in the cervix. I took the news like a good, levelheaded, non-emotive patient (though dumbstruck) and didn't consider my situation until 2 days later. It came while my husband and I were watching a beautifully rendered love scene in a rented video. Suddenly I realised I might be rendered a eunich. No cervix - no alternatives! My first husband (who was a first rate abuser) gave me a clitorectomy with a piece of fishing line when I was 19 years old. I can't tell you how frightened and grief-stricken I feel right now.

Sorry for the shock. Its a hard story to tell - I know. It took me 23 years to tell anyone at all, let alone find the wherewithal to discuss it with the doctor. Sure, I put in a call to his office and asked for another consult, but in the meanwhile I am not coping.

I tried the web - that was scary. What a controversial subject. Can't make objective sense of any of it in my current state of mind. No libido, mind fog forever....the stories are ghastly.

Can anyone provide me with support or information? Have I any alternatives at all?

Signed

'winging it'
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  #2  
Unread 05-14-2002, 03:34 AM
SOS - "Sisters Offering Support"

Hi Storm,

First let me say that I'm so glad that you found this website and even happier that you posted to it! For some reason it takes a bit of courage to make that first posting, so kudos to you for doing so.

Thanks for the explanation of your user name. It truly is an appropriately courageous and inspirational name.

I'm afraid that I cannot offer a suggestion for an alternative to you but wanted to offer my support to you and let you know that you have come to the right place. There are so many good women with so many unique experiences here.

You are a very courageous woman. May God Bless you.
  #3  
Unread 05-14-2002, 03:47 AM
Hi Storm

I'm so glad you found this site. It has literally saved my sanity! I am so sorry to hear about what your ex put you through. Horrid, sick man. I am not familiar with the Marshall procedure you are talking about. You were in shock for a couple of days and it hit you head on while watching the movie. As I said, I am not familiar with the reconstructive procedure that you had to undergo, but you can attain orgasms without a cervix. I posted a question about whether or not I would still have a G-spot and all the ladies answered a resounding YES! Try a search in the post for G-spot and it might make you feel better.
You have gone through a terrible ordeal and my thoughts and prayers are with you. This healing place where women support other women is the place you need to be.
Big Hugs to you, you brave lady!
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  #4  
Unread 05-14-2002, 03:49 AM
Thanks Kab0922

Thanks for the support and encouragement. I posted that message 5 hours ago and have been hanging on the line ever since....pretty desparate for some comfort in the way of comradery. I have been worrying that my email was too shocking for anyone to answer. I have a divided mind - part of me wants to find out I am not alone, and part hopes fervantly I am...wouldn't want such a history of abuse and consequence to be a common plight.

I see you are from Massachusetts. My mother's side of the family has a history there, and was a founding father of Dorchester Mass, coming from Cambridge in 1926.

Thanks again for responding. I know you are right when you say I have come to the right place. You have definately affirmed it with your kindness
  #5  
Unread 05-14-2002, 03:52 AM
Correction!

I mean 1626! Couldn't really be a founding father if he'd arrived in 1926.....
  #6  
Unread 05-14-2002, 03:58 AM
Lil Hellion

I get to keep a g-spot? This is good news. How does that work? Are we allowed to talk anatomy in detail on this forum?

The Marshall-Marchetti-Kranz is a procedure to correct rectecyle and cystecele (I am sure I have misspelled these, so I apologise)
usually the result of childbirth. I had this first reconstruction at the age of 28. My children were all born to me at home (I have three) the last one arrived in my 21st year. Yes, I was a child bride.

Thanks for the quick and supportive response. I am sitting here having another cry, but this time its in relief and gratitude.

Thanks Sis
  #7  
Unread 05-14-2002, 04:02 AM
Welcome from another aussie

Hi there and welcome. You have found the best place on the web for support. I still "hang around" here almost daily. The women on these boards are just truly amazing.

I am so sorry for what your ex put you through. I just can't even begin to imagine.

There is also an Australian forum on the main forum page - titled "Hystersisters Around the World". You will find that there are quite a few aussie girls on this site and I know there are some girls in Melbourne.

Just wanted to give you a big ((((hug)))) and say hi. Keep reading and keep posting. No subject is taboo on these boards.

You will be pleasantly surprised that post op, yes there is still a wonderful sex life to have. I am 5 months post now and that side of it could not be better (and yes, orgasm is achievable internally still). I had my uterus, cervix and left ovary removed and I don't feel any less of a woman. The best part? No pain, no bleeding, no cramps, no backache, no numb left leg.

Regards and all the best wishes.

My email is always on.

Cheers

Gail
aka buckkieofoz
aka HSChat Gail
  #8  
Unread 05-14-2002, 04:05 AM
SOS - "Sisters Offering Support"

Hi Storm,

I am so sorry for what you went through in the past and what you are facing now. All the women on this site are great at offering their support, comfort and advice.

I'm glad to see that you have asked for a second opinion. That can go a long ways to easing your fears.

Now about the cervix: I had a total hyst and I havn't noticed any change in regard to sex or orgasms. Your reproductive organs aren't they only part of you that makes you a woman: your mind, your emotions, and especially your heart make you what you are.

Please spend time reading throught the entire HS site and some of the other boards like Aching Hearts and Hyst Alternatives.

Good luck, and bless you.
  #9  
Unread 05-14-2002, 04:09 AM
WELCOME

Storm, OMG you have been through so much and at such a young age. I am truely sorry that you have gone through what you have. Please hang in there and take all the support and hugs that us sisters can give you.
We will be there for you each step of the way. Just take things one day at a time and all will go well I am sure. I do not wonder tht you have no libido etc, after what you have been through emotionally it is amazing you can cope at all. Have you had councelling for any of these horrific things? It may be a great help to you.
Waiting for your Hyst is the hardest part, once it is all over and recovery is through, you will fel such a difference. I am 8 months post and have now got to the stage where i am so glad that I have done it. I love having no periods, hormones also seem ok and life is good. My hugs and very best wishes for you, Vicki Aka smilie
  #10  
Unread 05-14-2002, 04:20 AM
Storm...Big Big Hugs to you

Storm,
I know you feel like an emotional wreck right now. You have good reason to feel that way. Crying can be very healing as you will find in some of our sister's postings. As my hyster buddy Lisa informed me, your G-spot is in the anterior wall, towards the front, of the vaginal canal. My Mom had a hyst when she was 37 <she is 53 now> and says that sex was never better than AFTER the hyst. She had a TAH-BSO. There is still hope for you! Mary Lou is right in saying that we women are much more than our reproductive organs! Have you discussed your fears and concerns with you hubby? I did. My situation is different from yours, but I still had fears such as,,,will he be able to feel the vaginal cuff once my cervix is gone?. He told me he can't feel my cervix now so that shouldn't change. I think you will feel MORE sexy because you won't be dealing with pain, periods and a mess! I read up on the MMK...I am having a burch sling. That scares me more than the hyst! LOL I am not being insensitive, so please forgive my ignorance if I am out of line. Just looking for info. Is is possible to have your clitoris reconstructed at the time of surgery? No need to answer and please don't take offense. I know it may be difficult to talk about and I understand.
Hang in there! Your sex life should not change from what it is now excpet to get better!
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