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I am new, my surgery is tomorrow I am new, my surgery is tomorrow

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Unread 05-14-2002, 04:16 AM
I am new, my surgery is tomorrow

I just found this web site. I am having a total hysterectomy tomorrow. I have 3 large fibroids and a nasty looking cyst on one ovary. I am 48 years old, have been divorced 2 years. I have so many fears and feel so alone.
I moved from Dallas to San Antonio in Dec. My periods have been a little irregular for the last year. I started bleeding almost daily and just wrote it off to pre-menopause. My insurance was messed up with my job transfer, so I didnt go in until February. That was when I was told I have fibroids and that my uterus was flipped over backwards. They seemed shocked that I didnt know this. (My doctor in the Dallas area never told me!) I told my new doctor I didnt want a hysterectomy if we could help it and he agreed. He set me up for a sono.
I went in and they found a simple cyst on my left ovary. He was not happy about that and started pushing for the hysterectomy, but agreed to wait another 6 weeks and do another sono. When I went back for that one they found the cyst had changed and was now complex. I was in the middle of dealing with the impending death of my brother and was out of town right after they found it. I had a horrible time getting info from the doctor. I was terrified I had cancer.
I know this is long, but here is whats happening now. He says he feels that there is about a 15% chance the ovary is cancerous. He will do a laporoscopy tomorrow and take the ovary. It will be biopsied right away. If its not cancer they will do a vaginal hysterectomy. If it is, then they will do an abdominal. If I wake up with an abdominal incision I will totally freak out!!!!! I will be alone probably when I wake up. My only family here is my daughter who is not dealing well with it and probably wont be there when I wake up. I just watched my brother die a horrible death from cancer. I dont want to wake up if its that.
I am afraid I will never find a man that will want me again after all of this, especially if its cancer. I am afraid of losing my sexuality, which is very important to me.
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Unread 05-14-2002, 04:38 AM
Big Big Hugs

I am so sorry you did not find this site sooner! There is so much support to be found here. I know how you feel about worrying about cancer. I had a lump in my breast in 2000 which turned out to be benign. I know it is hard not to worry especially with what you have witnessed with your brother. My DR was 90% positive my lump was not a cancerous one and I was so relieved to find out that it wasn't. I feel so bad for you in not having anyone there to support you physically, but we are here for you spiritually. Good luck on your surgery tomorrow! Try not to fret. We are all praying for you!
Unread 05-14-2002, 05:25 AM
you'll get through this

Hi kiddo

this is my first day on the forum too, and I'm anything but emotionally stable. But though we are both feeling the same fears about the cancer possiblities and the loss of sexuality, I have a few more weeks to go, whereas you are already at the day. And though most of my family is in the states, I have a dh, and am lucky. So its hard to know what to say. I do know lonely....did the sole-parent thing for half a lifetime.

My family too, has a history of cancer. My dad is dying of cancer at the moment, and 4 out of 5 of us (the sisters in the family) have now had some form of cancer. I can only empathize with your loss and your fear.

But, darling girl, try to go into surgery with a positive outlook. Nurture your body and give it good messages. Sing to yourself as you go under tomorrow....find a positive, favourite song and let it be in your thoughts all the way through. Wake up believing in yourself, and in your doctor's ability to do the best work for you.

As for your sexuality, take a look at my posting thread 'SOS' and see what others have said about keeping your sexuality and orgasms. I am still working my way through the process too, so all I can do is share the support I am getting. It is encouraging - it has made me feel a whole lot better, and hopefully it will be encouraging for you too.

I will have you in my thoughts tomorrow, and will send you all the positive energy I can. You can go into the hospital knowing you have support from clear around the world.

Not bad for a lone star!

Smile sugar. Its all still ahead of you. We're with you.
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Unread 05-14-2002, 06:20 AM
In the company of sisters


I am so glad you found this site and only wish you had found us earlier.

Many of us spend a better part of our day here, getting comfort, asking questions, reassuring others. It is where I feel wrapped in love.

And the best thing of all is that we welcome everyone who joins. Please know that you are in our prayers. Once you post your surgery date, your name goes on a calendar and everyone can check and see who is in surgery on any given day.

I am also 48, with fibroids and an enlarged ovary. One of the first things my dh and I asked the dr. was about sex. He was very reassuring, reminding us much of our sex drive was in the mind and he wasn't going to mess with that.

Please know that you are in our prayers. If you have any spare time today, browse this site, read the drop down menus, visit the post-op board and know that you are one of us.

After you are home and feeling up to it, please post a message to let us know how your surgery went. We care.

Unread 05-14-2002, 07:03 AM
I am new, my surgery is tomorrow

{{{{{{{{Ladies}}}}}}} I wish all of you good luck with your impending surgeries! Just know it is so normal to have all of these fears. You will do fine and we are here to support you on the boards as well as in chat. Consider joining us there for real live support from ladies who have been there, done that! It was a godsend to me when I was pre and so much fun meeting new friends when I was post. Please try and join us in the chat room today!!

Unread 05-14-2002, 10:25 AM
I am new, my surgery is tomorrow

s sngcanary You have so many life-changing events in your life! And now a hyst, too.

The other ladies are so right. Once you post on HysterSisters, you are never really alone! Since your time is so close, I urge you to continue to read here as you can steal a few moments while you are getting ready. I really believe you will gather information in even a short while that will help with your confidence about what is happening.

I do hope, too, you can get in touch with your daughter. You don't say how old she is, but even if she's not dealing with your hyst well (could it be because of your brother's recent passing and her fears?), she needs to hear that you need her. Just to have someone there when you are first awake after surgery really means a lot. You will probably be in and out during the remainder of the day, but if your daughter could be there just after surgery to talk w/the Dr., plus to reassure you, she could go on with whatever she needs to do. You'll need the rest!! (This is what my family did and it was fine w/me since you do sleep so much that first day--I wouldn't have known they were there and probably would have worried about them having nothing to do.)

The other ladies are right, too, about being included in prayers for a successful surgery and a good pathology report. Even if you do need to have an abdominal surgery, you will do fine--honest! I am just recovering from a TAH/BSO on 4/29, and I am so surprised EACH DAY how I feel just a little better. As far as the sex, it's too early yet, so I can't report on that. So many ladies report no change or sometimes even a change for the better.

Please be sure to post again to let us know how you are doing.
Unread 05-14-2002, 10:43 AM

I am having an abdominal hysterectomy... I have very enlarged uterus and fibriods outta control. I was told because of the size of them that i have to have abdominal incision. I have read a few places that ususally when cancer is involved that they do it that way. That scared the holy bejesus outta me. He tried to do a biopsy in the office, but couldn't find my cervix to do it. So when he has me opened up he will have it tested, before he closes me up. I was told by him that 99% non cancerous.. it's that 1% that scares me. I have lost my grandparents, and father to cancer and I know what it does to a person. I am sorry for your loss. I agree you should try to get some support from you daughter if you can... Good Luck to you tomorrow, my date is tomorrow as well, see you on the other side...
Unread 05-14-2002, 02:44 PM
I am new, my surgery is tomorrow

Hi Sngcanary,

I haven't had surgery yet, not till next month. I have no words of wisdom but that we are all here for you even after your surgery.

Please take care and let us know how you are doing when you are up to it.

Unread 05-14-2002, 03:11 PM
Welcome & Good Luck

Awwwwwww Mate my heart goes out to you. Huge Hugs, It sure is alot on your shoulders at the moment. You will find the support here absolutely mazing. Here is a place that you will fit right in, a hug or a shoulder is only a breath away. Here you are NOT alone.
I wish you all the very best for your surgery, Hun I know that it is so hard right now but please keep trying to think positive. We will have our fingers crossed for you for a good outcome. I hope that your Daughter will come around and be there for you. Please rest as much as possible, it is so important to recover properly, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. You have been through so much already and now with your hyst etc it is time to put YOU first. I lost my Mum 11 weeks before my hyst and so have some idea of how emotionally you will be feeling.
Remember we are here whenever you need us. Good Luck hun and when you can let us know how you feel. Hugs Vicki Aka Smilie
Unread 05-14-2002, 03:50 PM
Please come and visit after your surgery

Hi...Even though you just found this site, when your up to it come and visit on the post-op side. There is so much wonderful info and support on here. I know that I couldn't have gotten through my waiting time and surgery without it. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

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