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I think I've just imagined this entire incident. I think I've just imagined this entire incident.

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Unread 05-14-2002, 10:55 AM
I think I've just imagined this entire incident.

You know, I was making copies at work today, when I had a brief moment of wondering if I have imagined the past two months. Maybe I'm not really having surgery next week at all, it's just a dream and if I pinch myself hard enough I'll wake up. (I think I felt like this because today I feel pretty good. No pain, no messy period, no exhaustion, no fatigue.) Maybe this whole thing has been like that episode of Dallas where Victoria Principle pulls back the shower curtain and Bobby didn't really die, it was all a dream.

Am I dreaming? Or has my cheese finally slipped off my cracker. Am I a taco short of a combination platter? Am I REALLY having surgery next week? (Who me? No, I couldn't be having surgery! I have never had surgery. I don't need surgery!)

Sheesh, talk about denial!

HELP!! Somebody please pinch me. What the heck am I doing having surgery!!!! Have I lost my marbles! (Hyperventilating, pant, pant, gasp, gasp, inhale, inhale.)

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Unread 05-14-2002, 11:02 AM
I think I've just imagined this entire incident.

you are hilarious!
I did the same thing.My surgery was just scheduled yesterday. I knew it was coming...but as soon as I had a date..i thought "i'm fine! as a matter of fact..I feel fabulous!! I can't possibly being having surgery!"
unfortunately..we are not imagining this. The good news is, we have this incredible site to visit so we will be totally prepared. The other good news is...we have this incredible site to visit so when we have these panic attacks..there will be somebody there to help us through them!
I'm probably going to get fired from my job because I spend so much time here...but it's really helping me get through the denial stage!!
good luck!!
Unread 05-14-2002, 11:16 AM
I think I've just imagined this entire incident.

>>>Or has my cheese finally slipped off my cracker. Am I a taco short of a combination platter?

ROFL!! Good thing I had just swallowed my Pepsi, or it would have been all ofer the monitor! LoLoLoL...

That said...

You sounded like I felt the weeks and days before my surgery. I prepared for it, made arrangements, *knew* it was going to happen, but it didn't really register until I had to go with the doctor to the operating room.

And then...it HIT. And what did I, in all of my lady-like , prepared-out-the-ying-yang-for-anything-no-matter-what, rediness do?

I cried!!

Then I clung to my husband like I was off to my room 101. {George Orwell, in his book 1984 said we all have a Room 101, the worst thing imaginable to us individually...don't know why I thought of that just now, but I did!}

And into the op room, snivilling like a child, I went.

Embarassed? You bet! Given premium doses of the best meds in a quicker-then-quick timely manner? You'd better believe it!

For the longest time, I thought they were empathetic, and trying to relieve my fears. Eventually though, I assumed that they were just trying to shut me up, or at least reduce my tears to a mindless babble of nonsense, which was good for all of us. So no matter the actual reasoning they had, it helped!

Ok, I know that was of no help whatsoever, but I felt like sharing it with ya'. I find it better to laugh then cry when I can, so maybe you'll think of me when it finally HITS.

Or...maybe it won't ever really HIT...Who knows, but regardless, I wish you the very best!

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Unread 05-14-2002, 04:06 PM
I think I've just imagined this entire incident.

I'm feeling the same way! My period last week was the mildest I've had in years, pain was minimal, bleeding only lasted 5 days and was never flooding. Soooo, when I got my date today, June 24, I'm thinking "Why?!?!", it's not really that bad. But I know deep down that next month it could be horrible again, just like the last 4 years. Now on top of everything else I failed my glucose tolerance test, am I looking at diabetes?

I know for an absolute fact that someone has taken my taco and I am now definitely not a combo plate anymore!!! (maybe JR did it!!!)

I think we just have to hang tough together and hope all those wonderful ladies telling us that waiting is really the hardest part are telling us the truth!

Unread 05-14-2002, 05:15 PM
I think I've just imagined this entire incident.

Well I had a reminder of why I am doing this two nights ago. I have never had this happen before. I have spotting and light bleeding all the time. Except two nights ago when I woke up to the feeling of something not right. I had blood right down to the mattress pad. It seemed like just one good gush, then it basically stopped. Four hours later, no bleeding at all.

I have been wondering if I really wanted to do this. That certainly sealed the decision!
Just remind me of that EARLY monday morning when what I want to do is :run3:
You can probably find me here reading notes since I am sure I won't be able to sleep!

Unread 05-14-2002, 07:02 PM
I think I've just imagined this entire incident.

Lisa, I wonder sometimes when I'm feeling OK why I'm going through with this. That maybe the pain is not that bad. But then, it hits and it could be any time of the month. Not even just around my period any more. And I can't wait to get the surgery done. I am going through my final period now and I don't feel sadness at all. I'm glad. Of course, I will have the pleasure(not) of going through the horrible two weeks of PMS before my surgery. So if I have any second thoughts, they will very quickly go away then. I'm going to be really psychotic by then. PMS, pain and stress from upcoming surgery. My dr. will love me at the pre-op appt. He'll know I'm ready to go through with it as soon as he sees me.
Good luck with the waiting.
Unread 05-14-2002, 08:48 PM
Is it just my imagination... running away with me????

You really hit home with this one for me !!! I'm new to this whole thing today. Reading your message was just what I was feeling, until a couple of days ago, when I'd had my 3rd period in 30 days, I'm ugly as can be and ready and willing to bite anybody's head off that crosses my path...and the pain. It was only a few days ago when the world was wonderful, birds chirped, the sun shone, and I felt great. What am I doing? You must be mistaken, I really am just experiencing a little discomfort, never mind there's a tumor the size of a mellon in my belly. I'm scared. But all my friends tell me that this will be over before I know it and I'll be good as new, better than before.
I know they mean well, but I feel a whole lot better after reading that what I' m feeling, everyone else is feeling too.

The waiting is the hardest part in anything . I'm pretty sure that 6 months from now we'll all be jumping for joy !!!

Hope to talk to you again
Unread 05-14-2002, 09:04 PM

I so much appreciate your post! When we women need our bodies to be on their best behavior for castle entry, all h*** breaks loose. You're looking at glucose, I'm looking at a vaginal infection. I go to GYN tomorrow for the third week in a row to get rid of infection. I have a little over 9 weeks left before castle entry.

Unread 05-14-2002, 09:34 PM
Imagining it all

Maybe it was the pain killer & anesthetic doing it, but I dreamt one night in the hospital of riding in roller coasters with my nearly life-long best friend, & I woke up & thought, oh, please let that be the reality & this hospital, this surgery, all this be the nightmare!

Then, I opened my eyes & saw the hospital clock & the hospital curtain & knew.

I still have that feeling yet every morning now, even at 4 weeks post-op.

So I hate to tell you, denial ain't just a river & sadly it doesn't seem to even go away during post-op.

I go back in to work for a 1/2 day tomorrow & wonder how much of that river will be following me there. Maybe it's good if it does, it may help to keep me from crying. I'm still looking for a purpose for everything, so maybe that's the reason for denial.
Unread 05-14-2002, 10:47 PM
I think I've just imagined this entire incident.

I think it started to hit me earlier today when I glanced at the calendar....5 full days left in freakdom then off to the castle Monday morning at 10:30am, surgery at 12:30pm. It is comming up quick!:eyes:

I am in mid-cycle right now and haveing quite a bit of pain where my right ovary is...thats where all the scar tissue is and some of the adhesions are.

I am trying to do the normal things around here and not worry about if the house is totally clean before Monday or not. (tho it would be nice but it wouldnt last more than 10 minutes anyway) Some things will just have to wait...it has taken me almost 7 years to figure out that no one is gonna fade away into oblivion if the floor is not swept.

I find it hard to concentrate right now which is not the best thing since i am the only one who truely knows anything about my paperwork for our business....and i need to get my head on straight even if it is only for a few hours....to prepare (bills paid, route sheets made, etc)for when I will be away at the castle next week. But then again, a few of these things can wait if they have too. My health is more important than anything else right now. Mentally and physically.

I know my moods and emotions have been all over the place lately, one day I am freaking out, the next i am with it and calm and the next tired and moody but....

I know I will breath a sigh of relief when this is all behind me, so will my dh and family.

I am glad I found this site...I feel more confident about everything and if i need to talk or vent, I know I can come here and find the support and comfort needed.
All of you are so wonderful. Thank you for being here.


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