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Now I am nervous..... Now I am nervous.....

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  #1  
Unread 05-18-2002, 08:35 PM
Now I am nervous.....

Hi to all.
I am feeling a little down right now, so I decided to post and just vent a little. I posted a couple of weeks ago when it was time for a CA125 to be drawn and I had a hard time getting up the courage to go to the Lab. With some support (and some very strong advice...thanks), I went and had the test last week. I haven't heard the results, but I happened to run into my DR and he asked if I was feeling terrific. I told him that I wasn't, that I was having swelling, hip pain and was really still soooo tired. He asked if I would come to see him right away.

Now, it is probably only because he is a wonderful man and he is concerned for me that he suggested I come in, but late at night, this Cancer Head thing is making me nuts. I have myself going crazy thinking of all the "what ifs".

I am going in on Monday, and will also get the CA125 results at the same time. I just have to keep myself sane until Monday.....
I feel like the StrawMan in the Wizard of Oz...I need a little courage. Actually, this whole expereince has left me feeling a little like Dorothy. A whirlwind tornado has swept me away and I just wish I could "click my heels" and return to Kansas (or somewhere!!!).
I will let you know how I make out, and thanks for listening....
TJ
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  #2  
Unread 05-18-2002, 10:29 PM
Now I am nervous.....

Hey TJ.... we are your courage The days before the Drs appt or test results are the pits, we all have the same emotions . It is like you are in limbo and all you can think of is 'cancer' . Yep , know how you are feeling .

I know how you feel about being like Dorothy ( Wizard of Oz was my favourite book when I was little ) ,just wanting to be in those ' pre - cancer days ' . Well , take that a little further and pretend you are on the yellow brick road.... there is an end The cancer head can be the wickard witch of the East ( West ? ) and it will be rid of soon. I promise . I can be your Wizard of Aus

Anyway , not making light of how you are feeling, please remember that we are here for you whenever you need us. You are part of our little cancer family now and we care Love always to you TJ x x x
  #3  
Unread 05-19-2002, 02:52 AM
May NOT Be Bad News--Hip Pain? Me Too!

I agree with Robyn--"cancer head" can rear itself before tests, before the doctor appointment to get results, and at other times as well. For today here's a thought--where I go, if the CA125 is OK you don't hear--if it's up or they're worried, they'll call. I learned that because there was one time when things were bad, bad, bad at work and I didn't want to know "in case" because I was at the end of my rope there, so I didn't call. Finally, we were at an explosive level, so I called because it was nagging me and I couldn't handle the nagging and work--and there was a slight drop! They said had it risen to a warning level they'd have called. Anyway, I've since decided I will always schedule an appointment shortly afterwards to get the news in person, CA125 or CT scan. It may well be that your doctor is one who prefers to discuss everything in person--GOOD news included--to do followup, like with the hip pain. What is it with hip pain lately--I've had it bad in the right hip and now bursitis in left ankle. Is this an after-effect? I have to bring THAT up in June. Also, we need to remember that whereas BC (before cancer) we'd see things as annoyances or strains or whatever, now we just automatically relate every ache and pain or odd thing as part of the cancer--when we will still get those odd annoyances, strains, viruses, etc. totally unrelated. Here's hoping it's good news tomorrow.

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  #4  
Unread 05-19-2002, 06:19 AM
Now I am nervous.....

s TJ

I understand your fright. I was there last week. A big check up for me. CAT scan, chest xray, CA 125. I always try to do the testing two or three days before I actually see the doc. That way I get results in person. Phone news would make me too nervous. It's kinda like you live in a strange zone from testing to the time of getting results. You said you had the ca 125 awhile ago. You''ve been living in that scary place since then? Not knowing is the worst. It really wears you down.
I'm sorry we have no answers to take away your fear. Sometimes just knowing there are others out there who do understand completely can be of help. Let us know how your appt goes.

s karenann
  #5  
Unread 05-19-2002, 09:05 AM
Now I am nervous.....

I'm sorry you have to suffer through the waiting. I know how that is. I won't know for another month where I stand. I have cervical cancer that has spread into into other places. The oncologist says I am stage 4 and have a 15% chance of surviving another year. (I never heard of anyone with stage 4 cancer.) I find this hard to believe because since I finished my chemo and radiation two weeks ago, other than the soreness from the radiation, I feel unbelievably well. I even look better than I have in years. They wanted to wait until I healed from the radiation to give me a thorough examination and decide on the next step. I'm sorry - I didn't mean to start going on about myself. You will be in my thoughts and prayers from now on. Take care of yourself.

Amy
  #6  
Unread 05-19-2002, 03:18 PM
Now I am nervous.....

TJ,

I am sending good thoughts and result your way. I too will return to my oncologist radiologist tomorrow at 9A to get the result of my MRI from Friday.
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