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Taking care of the "care-takers" Taking care of the "care-takers"

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Unread 05-21-2002, 02:12 AM
i am a caregiver also

if i could DO this and an now post op 6 weeks and back to work, with a disabled hubby that really defines the definition of caregiving, and a 16 yr old son and having lost my mom 9 years ago to uterine CA.. you all can do it!!! You just have to prioritize what is important and amazingly your families will come through in "their" ways. it might not be the same as YOU might do it but those that are able and wishing to help you can find their own special ways of helping.we made it and the place is still standing more than i ever would have thought!! And tho i wasnt able to pampered like some of you that are SO fortunate to have, i was able to get in my share of rest and healing and had a good recovery altho still tired yet.
appreciate the good you have and the support you do and be flexible in whats important and it will ALL work out. i was grateful for any bit of help i had and i didnt care how it was done.We ate lots of take out food and easy to eat things and i had a girlfriend fly in to stay with us for the first week. the rest was hard but it worked out OK.
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Unread 05-21-2002, 03:32 AM

Thank you for all the wonderful replies. I think it helps our sisters a great deal to not only hear about the surgical recovery but to also know that in most cases, the family pulled through to keep things running as smoothly as possible.

Yes, they will do things differently than we would and they will probably make some mistakes. <hopefully not bad ones. I am envisioning pink laundry!> This will be a good experience for our families and will also show them how much we REALLY do that they are unaware of. I have a list for hubby on the bathroom mirror <at his request> that says,,,feed and water cat and dog,,,check the mail,,,make sure the trash is taken out...etc...you get my meaning. And just because we are restricted in our activities does not mean we can't SUPERVISE! LOL

So here's to cherishing our bruised bodies while we recover and remembering that WE MATTER!!!!
Unread 05-21-2002, 05:13 AM
We matter--yes!

I'll drink to that, Tracy!

I'm thinking maybe my dh can log on and print out some of the posts that make me laugh. Hmmm, with both you and Shashi in the castle at the same time, will the site stay up??

I have my pre-op today and I'm going to take a hystersister poster to the dr. office.

I will miss all my cyber friends while I'm in the castle, but they can't keep us down for long!

Can't wait until we are all on the post side.

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Unread 05-21-2002, 06:51 AM
Hello again

UK Deb,You are truly blessed to have such a compassionate caring son. Your attitude is wonderful! Yes, the world will turn without our help for a few days/weeks and we will be better for it!

You crack me up. So does Shashi/Lisa. She really comes up with some funny stuff. Hubby has to come check out why I am laughing out loud sometimes! I printed off a couple of the HysterSister fliers to give to my DR's office as well as the hospital. This site has saved my sanity and I am really not sure how the withdrawal will go! I am sure all of us will be back to offer the newest LIW some comfort and support.

Your story is so inspiring! Yes we will all get through this none the worse for wear. Well....maybe a "little" worn as we heal! LOL
I admire you for all the obstacles you have overcome and yet have been able to keep your spirit strong in the day to day dealings with disabled family members. You sound like an angel to me!
The key word was "priority"! We NEED to come first on that list for a change. For some of our sisters this is an alien concept! I think we will all learn valuable lessons through this experience!

Thank you all for the uplifting positive messages concerning our right to be pampered,,,,maybe even guilt free. Hmmm...that may be asking a bit too much. How 'bout we deal with the guilt AFTER we heal? LOL

Unread 05-21-2002, 10:13 AM
Taking care of the "care-takers"

hi again
since i was SO concerned i would have to beg for help or ask all the time i found a great option. In the pull down menus for punctured princesses there is a list of HOW TO CARE FOR A PUNCTURED PRINCESS for family members or loved ones. It said it all and both my son and hubby got a kick out of it and it really really spelled out alot. More than all my trying to get them to understand could have. it worked too!!!
i also right or wrong asked my son to look at the pelvicfloor.com pics of fibroids. it basically painted a greater pic to my son of what might be coming out of me and wasnt just a simple deal in recovering. In fact i think it had a huge impact on him more so than my spouse who wouldnt look at the pics. i read it helped other family members realize this IS a big deal and tho some of us might feel UP to doing more we shouldnt jump back in too soon!
as for me being an inspiration.... sighs thank you but somehow you just grow with the territory as it unfolds? with chronic illness the changes are slow and one day you look back and are stunned at how much you all adapt and adjust. The pain of the losses emotionally is still there for those caregiving. but somehow you find ways of coping.. or not?

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