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Am I just too sensitive or what? Am I just too sensitive or what?

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  #1  
Unread 05-22-2002, 10:33 AM
Am I just too sensitive or what?

I feel so alone in this:cry:

When I told my dad about my surgery back in January, he said he'd be here(he lives 6 hours away) only if the surgery date didn't interfere with his vacation with his new girlfriend. I was hurt by that because I would think his daughter's surgery would be more important than a vacation with his latest woman. I gave him 5 months notice....geez!

Yesterday my mom told me that she'll watch my kids the day of surgery only if she doesn't have to work. Again, I would think since she has known about this for 5 months, that she would make sure she didn't have to work. I guess if she has to work, I'll be going to the hospital by myself so hubby can stay home with the kids!

I don't know, I am so different from my parents, if this was my child having surgery, I'd be there....no question about it! I need people there for me and they're not!

On a positive note, my aunt called me this morning to find out when my surgery is. I'm sure she'd watch my kids if my mom won't. Atleast my aunt is thinking about me. But, oh yeah, she had a hysterectomy 2 years ago, so she understands.

I'm hurt by the way my parents don't ever seem to care about me. I guess this is nothing new......12 years ago I had an eating disorder that almost killed me.....were my parents there for me? No! I always have this image of how things will be and then it never turns out that way and then I'm disappointed. I set myself up for it. I have longed my whole life to have parents that show me love and I guess I'll never have it. But this is one of those times that I need it most.

Thanks for listening. I guess I needed to get this off my chest. I'm glad I have all of you very understanding ladies to turn to when I need someone to talk to
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  #2  
Unread 05-22-2002, 10:52 AM
God bless your tender heart!

No, sweetie, you are NOT being too sensitive. It's others who aren't being sensitive enough for you, and I am so sorry that you are having to endure this hurt during an already difficult time.
I just pray that God will touch your heart, and ease your pain. Please know that you are not really alone. You have a whole new family of sisters here ready & willing to support you,.. whatever your need. Although we obviously cannot be there physically to aide you (although I'm sure most of us would if we could, sweetie!),... we are with you in spirit & heart & most importantly prayer.
God bless you & keep you... Remember, He loves you so much!!!
You have friends here, please don't hesitate to turn to any of us for anything... we're here to listen, to offer support, a shoulder to cry on, and a hand to hold... we're all in this together!!!
Rest assured, you WILL get through this!!!
:HUG: :HUG: :HUG:
  #3  
Unread 05-22-2002, 10:55 AM
Am I just too sensitive or what?

Thank you Tahnee

That's just what I needed to hear. You made me cry...happy tears! It's so nice to know that there are people here for me. Thanks again
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  #4  
Unread 05-22-2002, 10:55 AM
You are NOT too sensitive.

I would feel the same as you! They have had five months - is that not long enough to prepare!?!
Things will work out, you just have to believe! Your Aunt will probably be a saving grace!
In the meantime, try to relax. It has been a long wait for you and I know it is not easy.
This is almost over.

Lots of s to you!!!

Kelley
  #5  
Unread 05-22-2002, 10:56 AM
Sensitive

Pasdechat,

I don't think you are being too sensitive. I think your parents are being inconsiderate. But, I'm going through that with my parents too. I've lived in my hometown all my life (44 years) just to be close to my parents. Then, when I buy a house, they up and move to Indiana to be with my dad's siblings. Then my sister moved there. Now, I guess I am just the worthless one. I'm not the one taking care of them anymore so I feel like I am forgotten. They will drive to Chicago to go to the veteran's hospital, will stop and see my mom's sister, but not once have they stopped by to see me and my family. They know my surgery is June 4th (TAH/BSO) and they have already said they are too old and ill to come see me. Then, my mom calls me this past weekend to tell me her doctor said her heart is failing... right before my surgery like I'm not stressed out enough

I just keep thinking... everything will work out one way or another. I try not to compulse over it... but it does make me crazy. Parents do change as they get older... they get more into "themselves" and stop worrying so much about everyone else. I guess that's their right... but it sure can hurt our feelings!

Don't worry. All will work out I'm positive! I'll be thinking about your surgery and will post my results as soon as I get home!

Keep your chin up! The HysterSisters won't let you down!

Nancy
  #6  
Unread 05-22-2002, 10:59 AM
Am I just too sensitive or what?



Awwwwww I feel so bad for you! I can relate though. I'm glad that my kiddos are old enough to get themselves readdy for school, etc. My parents and DH's parents live out-of-state. We are military and have no family here to help out. I did call my mom the night I found out I had to have surgery. You know what she said to me? "I can't come to help you, you know that right?". I told her that I wasn't asking her to, I had my DH and my kiddos. My good friend, at the time, took my youngest to school for us as we had to drive 45 mins. to the castle that morning. Since then, she has moved on, for whatever reasons, but she was a blessing then, when I needed her. My Aunt had a hyster when she was my age and she can totally relate to everything, my mom, cannot as she told me "I never had the problems you have".

I wish I was there to help you through this...



Sara
  #7  
Unread 05-22-2002, 11:01 AM
Am I just too sensitive or what?

KeelyB...you're right, my aunt will probably be my saving grace. I guess I need to lean on the people that are truly here for me.

nsteadman...I'm sorry you're going through the same thing as me. It does hurt! Alot! We will get through this without our parents, but wouldn't it be nice to have them here for us?

Thanks everyone!
  #8  
Unread 05-22-2002, 11:05 AM
Sensitive

Yes... it would be great if we had them to lean on... but we'll do fine with what we have! Your aunt and dh and kids and my dh and dd will handle it for us. We'll be feeling so much stronger both physically and mentally after the surgery that we probably won't think about it as much... God bless us for what we have!


Nancy
  #9  
Unread 05-22-2002, 11:07 AM
Am I just too sensitive or what?

Huggggss!!

Don't feel too badly because you are not alone. I never really knew what the saying "You can pick your nose but you can't pick your relatives" meant until I became an adult. My Mother told me that DH was goihg to have to cut it because I was the one who had to move 1500 miles away and she just couldn't come to help out..plus the weather here is too hot..bugs..etc. Yeah? Well, I never asked!!!! (Sigh) I'm with you..these people just taught us to love our children and in my case, step children, that much more.

My DH will take care of me but his patience runs out soon. His favorite expression is "Pain is nothing..just deal with it and it goes away..at least it's not chronic." Ugh! This from a man who's never had a surgery in his life. I also had an eating disorder growing up and I figure you're even more emoeional about the surgery now because things affect us differently. Let's face it..an eating disorder never really goes completely away..just the symptoms do.

Hang in there..we're all here for you!
  #10  
Unread 05-22-2002, 11:19 AM
Am I just too sensitive or what?

pasdechat,

Are there any hystersisters that live near you? Ask one of us for help! If I knew where you were, I could probably help you, or one of us could, anyway. Give us a shot! Check the members button (above), you can search the sisters by location and see if any are near you. (I will be just a few weeks post-op, but I'm sure SOMEONE could do it?????)

I am sorry about your predicament. My parents are going on a hiking trip they scheduled in Feb., about a month before I scheduled my hyst. So I won't have a whole lot of parental support, either. My MIL is coming the week after, though. She is a cleaning nut so I will have a very clean house for about a week! Could your MIL help out? (Grandmas will find any excuse to stay with grandkids.)

I am lucky; I have a daycare provider that takes my kids during the day while I work. She will be taking my kids for a few weeks post-op. Is there a daycare you could sign your kids up in advance for, before your hyst, so that they can get used to the idea? You all could meet the teachers, find out the summer schedule (sometimes they have outings planned) and meet some kids so that they know someone before they get there. It would only be a few weeks and, who knows? they might even have fun while they are there!! I had a great daycare, for a few years, and they scheduled water activities so my ds had to bring a suit, they did a lot of reading exercises, they did art projects, field trips, etc... (The chains seem to be the best at security, curriculum, and proceedures; I felt the most comfortable with them.)

I don't know if any of this helps. I wish I could do something for you! You sound stressed-out and worried about this more than anything else (now that you have your date). We are here for you! Let us know if/when you get this figured out. And the others are right, it does sort itself out! Relax! It will work out!

My prayers are with you! s and es
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