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Not telling a soul! Not telling a soul!

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Unread 05-25-2002, 01:39 AM
Not telling a soul!

I'm not a private person at all, and told everyone I talked to, it seemed like, about my hyst. I got (and gave) lots of good advice and support that way. We had visitors, houseguests, and parties during my recovery, and I had fun walking laps around the driveway with friends who came by. It was a pretty wierd (but very nice) experience tapping into the support and care of friends (especially women), since that kind of thing had never been part of my usual experience in life. My female friends compare sizes of their truck engines - we don't say "aww, there, there dear". So that was a whole new thing for me.

But when I am *sick* that's another story. Leave me alone. Please! I'm just getting over a cold (a really bad can't-stop-coughing kind of cold), and when I was in the midst of it, tired, hoarse, and generally miserable, people kept calling to see how I was feeling. I actually stopped answering the phone all day one day because I could not talk that much. It drove me nuts. I mean, I'm really touched that people care, but how can I rest and get better if they keep calling me - sometimes twice a day? Aargh! So... I get it. If you feel like you'd rather be left to rest and heal in peace, go for it.

And about those clients... At 4 weeks I was just starting to get back to working, on my computer, from home. It was *hard*. My biggest problem was concentration and brain fog. My tip for you, if you try to work at 2 weeks - take notes! Several times I told clients I'd take care of something for them, then completely forgot that I ever talked to them... until they called to ask what had happened. Keep a notepad by the phone.
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Unread 05-25-2002, 05:22 AM
Who to tell

I'm eight months post op and NO ONE in my family has any clue that I've had ANY surgery (I've had three in the past year). I live about 60 miles from my hometown, and for very personal reasons DH and I decided to go this path on our own. I did not feel that my family (outside my DH and sons) would or could provide anything other than stress, interference and criticism.

It didn't bother me that co workers, friends or in-laws (who live 500 miles away) knew. But I was also very adament that I did NOT want visitors, especially in the hospital. DH stayed home a week, I wanted him gone by day two.

When DH went back to work a couple of close friends were kind enough to call and check if I needed anything until I was able to drive at two weeks. My boss stopped by twice during the first week. After the second visit my DH told her it was best she wait until I came back to work full time to discuss anything professional, so she didn't stop by again.

I hate hovering, I hate pampering. But I hate being bugged by work when I'm on vacation or off sick even more.

Tell only the people that you want to tell. Maybe you should think about the "need to know" factor. My kids school needed to know to not all my office for six weeks, so a note went to school saying from date 1 to date 2 all emergency calls should go to the home number - that's all most people really need to know. "Just the basic facts, ma'am"
Unread 05-27-2002, 01:39 PM
Not telling a soul!

I told my mom and family the night before that I was having the surgery, because I didn't want her to worry and by choice I went to the hospital alone. I didn't tell any of my friends until two weeks after the surgery. My friends have scolded me asking why didn't I tell them, is there anything they can do. But I find the questions about the surgery and advice to be annoying.

My doctor did look at me strange when he asked who was waiting for me in recovery and I told him no one. I did have him call my mom after the surgery. I ended up telling a couple of people at work about the type of surgery I had, asking them no to discuss it under any circumstances. I know they, did, so I regret telling them. I now have to deal with comments about adoption, God's will, don't over do it, etc. My advice, if you are a private person, keep this private.
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Unread 05-27-2002, 03:31 PM
at 3 weeks

I was still in exteme pain at 3 weeks with no relief except drinking so I could sleep. I could not function in any sort of business at that time. But some people do really good.

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