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How much help will I need? How much help will I need?

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Unread 05-27-2002, 06:37 PM
How much help will I need?

Ok, 6 days to surgery (cyst and uterus) and I am scared. I have two kids, 9 and 11, and a husband who is NOT good at making sure kids get where they need to be or at getting house stuff done. How much help will I need?
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Unread 05-27-2002, 07:06 PM
How much help will I need? will have six to eight weeks of NO lifting, bending, stretching, pushing, pulling or straining. That pretty much covers most everything to do with housework...including vaccuming and laundry.

You can cook & freeze ahead, stock up on healthy snacks and drinks, and start explaining to your husband & kids how the major appliances work!!!

You WILL need help...and you've got bigger kids. They can run a vaccum, load & unload the dishwasher, throw in a load of laundry, etc. And maybe you can make up schedules and recruit friends, neighbors, and other school moms to help get your kids where they need to be. Think of yourself as the supervisor....just remember you'll be delegating, not doing.

Print out some of the lists here on the Pull Down menus, and let your whole family read them. Then make some plans!!!

Unread 05-27-2002, 07:31 PM
How much help will I need?

Hi Lori-May,

First- Take a deep breath and try to relax, your health is and should be your number one priority. It's ok to be scared at this point. I'm 3 weeks post-op and some days I can do things and some days I can't. Those days I just let my husband and 11 year old son know that if it needs to be done they're going to have to do it themselves, period. If you do to much you end up feeling lousy, I know, I've done it, an empty dishwasher or folded laundry isn't worth it.

Next, talk to the doctor doing your surgery, he/she knows you and you body and what your specific procedure will be and what you will and won't be able to do. I only had a laparscopic hysterectomy so I was able to resume more activities sooner, but I still find myself tired and get very sore and crampy if I try to do to much. Follow your doctor's order's!, NO EXCEPTIONS!!! and make sure your husband reads them too! This is your one chance to heal correctly, and you what to make the most of it! Good luck! and don't worry about your family, they'll surprise you in the end, mine did! Kathy
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Unread 05-28-2002, 04:45 AM
How much help will I need?

Hi Lori

Get some schedules written up, where the kids have to be and when, and as you've already been advised, recruit other moms who have kids going the same places to pick up and return your kids, and your husband is also going to have to improve his skills at helping to get them where they need to be.

And like Karen said, your kids are big enough to help with house work, and you have a right to expect them to pitch in!

You may read posts from a few ladies who say they jumped right back in to housework as soon as they got home from the hospital. Believe me when I tell you they aren't doing their bodies any favors. Sweeping, vacuuming, and lifting require the use of your abdominal muscles. It may not hurt while you're doing it, but it will cause the dreaded "swelly belly" to increase as a result, which means you've overdone it. You will have lots and lots of internal stitches and there is a possibility of tearing them by overdoing.

Follow your DRs instructions for limiting activity when you are released from the hospital. You house may not be quite up to your standards for a few weeks, but you'll have the rest of your life to clean and just this one chance to heal!

Best wishes!
Unread 05-28-2002, 08:55 AM
Hi Lori-May

What I found helpful was that I spent one full day cooking and freezing meals ahead of time. I ended up with 14 meals made. This way if hubby couldn't do it, my 11 year old son could. Also I made sure that all of my housework was caught up that way hubby would only have little stuff to do. I felt better and so did he. He works a fulltime job and a part time job, so on the days he couldn't get scheduled off, I was at least prepared. And anything else that needed to be done after I had my surgery, if it didn't get done, than it didn't get done. It isn't worth worrying over. You need to be able to recouperate without any complications, so don't worry. Eventually it will get done. As far as getting the kids to where they need to be, I just made back up plans with friends, just in case. But hubby did well. I am sure that it will go okay. I wish you well!
Unread 05-29-2002, 12:40 AM
How much help will I need?

I think you'll be amazed at how much help your husband and your kids will be. Especially if you talk to them and explain that this is a time that you all need to work together to get you better and back in the loop.
Unread 05-29-2002, 01:37 PM
How much help will I need?

I have two words of advice: make lists. That is what I did and it helped a lot. You should start now while you have time to add things to the lists as you think of them. I kept a pad and pen handy for about a week before the surgery. Good luck. Hope this helps.
Unread 05-29-2002, 04:02 PM
How much help will I need?

Hi Lori - I had tah/bso March 2000 and had two boys about that age. They were a tremendous help around the house. My dh helped out more than I'd ever thought. Don't push yourself to do things. Follow the restrictions given to you by your dr...and if some things don't get done...don't fret about it.

If your children need to go places...maybe you can call and make arrangements with other parents to give them some rides. You can always return the favor when you're feeling better.

Healing is the most important thing after surgery....the other things are secondary.

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