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Only Two Days Left Only Two Days Left

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Unread 06-02-2002, 06:44 PM
Only Two Days Left

I am starting to panic here ladies! My mind is so scattered I am doing things like putting the sugar in the fridge and the carrots in the cupboard. (Darn, my dh found that one! LOL) I have to work tomorrow, trying to get everything set up for my "holiday". I have no idea what I am going to screw up there! LOL

My "panic attacks" are coming more often. This is when a feeling of dread just washes over me. It starts in my stomach and spreads out from there. They sneak up on me too. I'll be doing something totally innocent, washing dishes say, and bam! Sweaty palms, difficulty breathing (okay so the palms might be the dishwater, you know what I mean!) I almost throw up from the wave of fear.

I am trying not to let my dh see these attacks. He gets upset when he doesn't have a tool to "fix" what is wrong with me. LOL Just like a man eh? (maybe that is why most surgeons are men?)

I can't concentrate on anything. I love to read, but I find myself re-reading whole passages, and when I pick the book up to start to read, I find I have to really think about what the story was. Now this is a disaster! LOL

I am such a wimp! I have always been the strong one, dealing with childhood illness and my dh's various injuries. I would march right into hospitals, get in Drs. and nurses faces if I thought the situation warranted it. Now I find myself not wanting to even ask the Dr. questions, like what kind of anesthesia, or what about hormone replacement. Just don't want to know when it comes to me. My dh has said he will be there for me. I sure hope he can be the assertive one for awhile!

Oh well, the wait is almost over. I think the reason so many ladies say the wait is the worst is because we absolutely torture ourselves with imagined scenarios. Anything is better than that! LOL

Okay, all you June 5th ladies, let's hold hands now, and repeat after me....We CAN do this!....We CAN do this!....We CAN do this!
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Unread 06-02-2002, 06:49 PM
Only Two Days Left

Hi, Lynn,

Before my surgery, I put the ice cream in the fridge, my vitamins in the oven and my shoes in the trash. It seems that a lot of us get nervous, and become "space cadets" before having surgery.

If you can, I'd suggest that you spend the next two days just being kind to yourself.

I went shopping for a few little luxuries (candles, new pillows, and aromatherapy) before my surgery. I spend a whole day just doing things that made me feel good. I figured that I deserved it.

Concentrating on pleasing myself helped take my mind off...

I spend special time with my family, too.

I hope these suggestions help. Now try not to put your shoes in the trash, OK?

Best wishes,
Unread 06-02-2002, 06:55 PM

Shoes? I have shoes?
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Unread 06-02-2002, 07:10 PM
Hi Lynn!

We have surgery the same day, and I am soooo panicy!!!
I have had surgeries before and I KNOW everything will be fine but it does not help!
This weekend we (family) went away - it was the best thing I could have done - at least to keep my mind busy with something other than this surgery which is in my thoughts 24/7!!!
Now that we are back home, all I can think about is all the cleaning and prep that needs to be done and how I JUST WANT THIS OVER WITH.
I am having an LAVH and just read a post from the last few days about how 'awful' this person is feeling. TALK ABOUT THROWING ME INTO ANOTHER PANIC ATTACK!!!
My dh gets upset with me when I read the 'negative' comments. Like I can help it. I devour this site everytime I get on here and just now he came down to see where I was and I told him 'you have to get me away from this computer!!!' BUT, then I saw your post and that we are having surg the same day and I am!



Just think, by late Wednesday, we will be starting a new life with less pain/bleeding ! Won't that be great!!!


Unread 06-02-2002, 07:41 PM

I know exactly what you mean. ALL my computer time has been spent at this site since I found out I needed surgery almost 2 months ago (and that is a lot of time!)

I have a morbid curiosity too. I read everything, especially the "negative" posts. But I try to think of it as a positive. I "need" to know everything that could go wrong. I want DETAILS! LOL

We are not that far away from each other (as Ontario distances go lol). I'll be thinking of you on Wed. (well, maybe not on Wed., I think I'll be thinking of myself, but soon after I'm sure.)

We just need to get through the next two days......
Unread 06-02-2002, 09:37 PM
Only Two Days Left

Hi sisters! I know what you mean about waiting, it's the worst. I work a 12 hour night shift at the hospital and was able to trade my shift for Monday night. Yippeee! I get a whole day to relax before surgery. The part that is really funny though, my ex's family has a cottage in Meaford, and we used to spend a lot of time there in the summer. It's a very beautiful area, you ladies are so lucky. I haven't been back since we split and boy, do I miss it. I'll be thinking of you both sometime around Wednesday, and I'm sure that I'll be back here sometime before then.

Best Wishes , we are soon to be !
Unread 06-03-2002, 01:40 AM

Hi, June 5thers and all LIW,

I understand how you feel especially as the time is growing close and the realization is unavoidable. I know that no matter what I say you will continue to have that inner panic, but I'm wanting to tell you that your wait time and mind make it bigger than it really is. No doubt it is major surgery and getting informed does give you power, but this surgery is soooo do-able. I had my surgery 11 days ago and have been surprised since day 1 that it was easier than I thought it would be. Yes, there are some icky moments....gas pains etc. and everyone has a different experience, but most of us post ladies will tell you it wasn't so bad. In fact, I've been laughing at myself ever since. You will too.
You are going to be so happy when it is over and yes, you can do this!

Warm wishes for a smooth time at the castle,
Lynn (capt. in chat)
Unread 06-03-2002, 02:05 AM
I was scared too

I had my TAH/BSO on 4/18. I was so scared. Just like you guys. I couldn't do anything but think about this surgery. I went to the DR and he gave me some Zanax and that really worked. I have suffered from panic attacks over the years but they had eventually gotten better. But when they came back it was full force. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack or something. On the day of the surgery I didn't have to be at the hospital until 11am my surgery was scheduled at 1pm. I thought oh my God, I am going to worry myself the day of the surgery. So the DR gave me some real good orders. The night before surgery I took a whole Zanax, I was only taking a half, that gave me a pretty good night sleep, then at 9am the next morning I took another one, and when I got to the hospital they gave me 2 Valium. I was scared of waking up in a panic attack. Hubby was with me until the took me to the operating room. They let him go to the holding area with me where they put my IV and gave me more medicine. When I woke up about 6 that evening, hubby was there and that made me feel secure. It's funny how the people you love will make you feel safe. Anyway, you should talk to your DR and see if they can give you something for your attacks. Another thing which gave me comfort is a good friend of mine gave me an "Angel Stone". She got it at the Bible Store. You rub it and pray over your troubles and worries and the angels take care of them for you. I had that in my hands until the nurse took it out and gave it to my hubby. Put your Faith in God and he see that nothing goes wrong. Here is a web site that you may like. It was posted a couple of months ago on this web site and I saved it. It's beautiful.... Hope you like it.

ers to you both.... Tammy
Unread 06-03-2002, 03:46 AM
waiting is so hard!

HI Lynn,
I loved your post 'cause now I know I'm not the only one having a hard time waiting! It's 3 in the morning and I can't sleep...just thinking of all the "what ifs". I've made myself umpteen lists because it's the only way I manage to get through the day without forgetting stuff!

Wednesday is my day too and I'll be checking these boards when I come home to see how everyone else is doing. I liked someone's idea of using the next two days to do stuff for me. I think I will try to do some of that. I've been feeling a little guilty because afterwards I am going to be getting so pampered but I think I'm going to just try to think of Monday and Tuesday as an extension of my surgery.

We CAN do this!
Thinking of you all....

Unread 06-03-2002, 07:14 AM
Only 2 days left

You said it sister! I had my LAVH on 5/31 thought I would be having a BSO too but doc said they looked too good to take. I felt the same way you did. 7 days before the surgery I was waking up at 3 am every night and laying awake until 6 am when DH's alarm would go off. Finally, on the day I took my dog for his last walk before surgery I had a nice long talk with the Lord. I don't know if you are religious and I haven't gone to church regular in years but we talk often - it sure made me feel better. I told him thanks for all the blessings in my life and if he could grant me another one I would be very thankful. I also thought about all the positives that would come of this. Huge fibroid gone-pants fit better, no more periods, pads or tampons, no more cramps, I can wear white shorts anytime I want, 2 weeks off work, no cooking, no laundry....Guess what happened - I was absoulutely calm going in. Even the night before surgery I feared it would be another long sleepless night. I slept like a baby. Didn't wake up one time. Alarm didn't go off and DH woke up at 5 am :alarm: in a panic. (We were to be at the castle by 5:45 am). I was sound asleep. Can you believe it? Even in the holding room where they get you ready I really didn't feel nervous or upset. Usually I will chill and shake and my teeth will even chatter when I feel paniced but not this time. And you know what else happened because of that? I was able to tell the anesthesiologist exactly what I wanted like no morphine- demerol only. I was able to go into the operating room without shaking like a leaf and unable to breath and I came out of surgery not sick - not in pain - but telling my gyno how mad I was because he left my ovaries when I thought he would be taking it all so I wouldn't have to come back. I had the whole operating room roaring with laughter. Back to my room I was wide awake, no nausea, little pain without the pain shot yet. It was better than I had ever anticipated. I had had 2 previous surgeries where I came out sicker than a dog and trouble breathing and feeling like poo. This one was one of the best experiences I have ever had. I have to contribute some of it to my state of mind going in. I had to have something done with my softball size fibroid so no choice but to trust my doc and get it out and trust the Lord to see me through it. I am still feeling great. Did a little too much walking around yesterday and paid for it last night with some cramping and back pain but all in all I feel really good. Now if I could just get rid of this swelly belly..... Anyway. Just remember you are not alone in your feelings and you have a wonderful family and many sisters here saying a little prayer for you too. You will do GREAT. Just remember positive makes positive. Think positive and things will be good. Love to you and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Many Many (((((HUGS)))))

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