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Unread 06-13-2002, 07:10 AM
Facing a TAH

One week from today (6/20) I will be having a TAH. Fear is becoming a very real factor in my everyday life. How do I cope with trying to look at the positive side of things when (1) I don't have children and (2) I'm 32 years old. The reason I am having TAH is because of Polycystic Ovaries and Cushings. In one sense I will be glad to have it over but in another I fear that in a few years my husband will want to have children and I won't be able to.

Please pray that I will be able to over come this fear.

Shannon in Houston, TX
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Unread 06-13-2002, 10:01 AM
Facing a TAH

Hi Shannon

First let me give you a big

I'm 28, and my husband (who is 41) and I also don't have children. We figured though, that if and when we DO want kids, we'll just go straight for adoption. Having no biological offspring was a big deal at first, for my husband, and it took many hard and honest conversations to get it all out in the open - but, in all honesty, my quality of life and health are much more important in both our minds. We still get misty-eyed at times, knowing that we're not able to have children biologically - but we made a vow when we got married, to stick with each other through sickness and in health - or, as my husband says, "for better or getting better"...and this is just part of that vow. The surgery won't change who we are, or who we both fell in love with

It's not an easy decision at all. We both have to grieve over losing that opportunity - but we also have to appreciate the GOOOOOD things that will happen afterwards...no more pain after sex, no more nasty clots, no more agonizing pain, no more depression (hopefully).

You're going to be fine, Shannon..it's scary and it's hard to deal with, but you WILL get through it. You're not alone in this

Sending warm hugs and best wishes,
Unread 06-13-2002, 10:32 AM
Best Wishes to you!!


I am 34 years old and have never had children either. I am scheduled for a TAH on July 2nd due to Uterine Fibroids that have been causing major problems for the last 2 years. Now my uterus is the size of a 5 month pregnancy and I need to remove it. (ouch)
I would say bieng a little scared is normal. It is unfortunate that we did not experience having children in our life. Although I truly believe we need to take care of ourselves first. Then of course there is always adoption, there are so many children looking to find a home out there.
Cheer up we will get through this just fine.
I am so proud to have such a understanding husband, he is really on my side always.
You take care and lots of hugs to you!!!!
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Unread 06-13-2002, 11:19 AM
Facing a TAH

Hi, Shannon! Welcome to HysterSisters! I'm sorry to hear you have to have a hyst and that you have fears about it. It is very normal to feel scared and sad about losing female organs, especially if you are young and have never been able to have children. Allow yourself some time to grieve and come to peace with it, if possible. I think you will always feel some sadness, but hopefully having better health will make the experience more positive for you. You can post over in the "Aching Hearts" forum also where women are supporting each other in their grieving.

If you want to read past threads about PCOS, go up to the "search" button at the top of the page and type in that subject. There have been quite a few hystersisters here with that diagnosis.

I think your dh realizes what you are going through, and will be there to support you in life whether you have a biological child or not. You will still be just as much a woman and just as feminine without a uterus!

Feel free to post again or ask any questions you have. We will be here to support you on this journey! s and best wishes!

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