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Funniest things your kids have done Funniest things your kids have done

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Unread 06-24-2002, 01:13 PM
Funniest things your kids have done

Calling all rincess:'s,

I firmly believe that laughter is one of the strongest healing forces and would love to hear your stories about children, granndchildren ,nieces and nephews.

I absolutely love this site and when I'm feeling blue (as is often these days) I know I can usually find something here to cheer me up . So let's hear your funny stories.

I'll get things started.

When my daughter was two, my Dh was lounging on the couch in nothing but his sweat pants with myself and my daughter, my DH stood up to reach the remote control on the coffee table at which time my daughter reached between my DH's legs and grabbed his jewels. She looked at him and said "ooooh daddy, you in trouble, you pooped your pants! I thought I would never stop laughing and that is the reddest I have ever seen my DH.

Hope to hear some of your stories.
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Unread 06-24-2002, 01:41 PM
My Kids

There are two things that I remember best (okay, maybe three or four.)

One morning while sitting in church, I looked down at my four-year-old son, David (who is now 22.) I noticed that he had put his shoes on the wrong feet. I leaned over and whispered to him that his shoes were on wrong. He sat there for a few minutes looking intently at his feet. Then he crossed his ankles, looked up at me and said, "There, now they're right!"


One day I was trying to hurry my youngest son, Micah, who was about eight years old at the time, into getting ready for school. When he came out of the bathroom, his hair was a mess. I told him he needed to go back in and comb it. He looked at me in exasperation and said, "Well, Mom. You don't look like a basket of fruit yourself!"


Another time, Micah, who was about ten years old at the time, and I were driving home from school. He asked me, "Mom, have you ever seen a mirage?" I told him no, I didn't believe I ever had. Then I asked if he had. He said, "I'm not sure. You see, one time I was on this farm, and I thought I saw a pig flying." He paused and looked very serious for a moment, then said, "But there were some other pigs in a pen just like it. And they weren't flying!"


The funniest thing that happened with my daughter was extremely embarrassing for me! When she was about eleven, she had a blue parakeet which she loved so much. She named him Petey, and taught him to dance when she played country music on the radio.

Well one morning, I went in the living room and she had left Petey's cage open when she fed him. Petey had gotten out and our cat had "played" with him. Petey was dead. My daughter had gone to school, and I had to be at work in a couple of hours and I didn't know what to do. She would be getting home before I did, and I didn't want her to know that her little bird had died.

So I ran and got dressed, picked up the dead bird and put it in a plastic bread bag, stuffed it in my purse, and took off to the mall's pet store. I prayed all the way there that I wouldn't have an accident. I could just see the police or EMTs trying to find my identification in my purse and pulling out that bag with the dead bird in it.

I arrived at the pet store and went rushing in and up to the first store employee I saw. I yanked the bag with the bird out of my purse and told her I needed another bird that looked just like that one as soon as possible. She looked at me like I had lost my marbles, but went back and found another blue parakeet and put it in a carrier for me. She asked me if I wanted her to dispose of Petey and I told her yes, please do.

I then rushed back home, stuck Petey II in the cage, and took off to work. Well, I got a call from my daughter that afternoon after she got home from school. She said, "Mom, there's something wrong with Petey!" I said, "Oh, really, sweetie. What's wrong?" She said, "Mom, he's not dancing when I play music and someone has clipped his wings. And he bit me!" I'm feeling really guilty now, thinking oh, great, what do I tell her? She then said, "And Mom, Petey's turned into a girl!"

Well, I managed to choke out an explaination about the cat getting after him so maybe he was just scared or something and hung up. When I got home, I went to my daughter's room and told her what had happened, that her beloved Petey had died and that I had tried to replace him. (I didn't know that she could tell the difference between a boy parakeet and a girl parakeet, but evidentially, the beaks look different.)

She cried for awhile and I felt so bad for her. About an hour later, she came in the kitchen where I was washing dishes and said, "Mom, I'm glad you told me about Petey. I'd rather know that he died, then to wonder who that stranger in there in that cage is."

Unfortunately, that isn't the end of the story. A month later, I walked into my class at the adult school where I work and there sat the pet store employee. She was one of my new students. I was hoping she wouldn't recognize me, but how on earth could she have ever forgotten the nutty lady with the dead bird in her purse?
Unread 06-24-2002, 09:11 PM
Funniest things your kids have done

Both are when my kids were little.
Daughter, upon seeing the blue water in my mother's toilet remarked, "Grandma you gots blue wee-wee here!"

Son, "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springstein was popular when my son was about 2. A few weeks before Christmas we were in church and he decided to sing, on top of his lungs, "Baby Jesus was born in the USA..." to the tune of Bruce's song.

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Unread 06-25-2002, 05:03 PM
My daughter

My daughter is too observant and very obvious.

One day we are driving in the car and she says "Brandon has a diarrhea with a butterfly on it, isn't that funny?" I asked her to repeat herself and she said it again. I said, "You mean he had an accident?" She said "No, you know mama, a diarrhea that you write in!" I finally responded "Oh, a diary!" Yeah! She said.

This year at mother's day lunch we were at a restaurant. My daughter was having a discussion with my MIL about the waiters. First she asked why they were all dressed alike (she is 6) and my MIL says it is so we know who the waiters are. She thinks for a minute and then says, "Hey, WE are the waiters! WE are the ones who are waiting". It was SO funny. She said it so seriously. I guess she was right, just like how we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway. Go figure!
Unread 06-25-2002, 07:05 PM
Funniest things your kids have done

I remember when my younger niece was visiting us. We went out for Chinese one of the nights. She asked after we entered the restaurant "I wonder why they don't take messages'? We figured out it came from the sign posted "no msg." Again while visiting and site seeing I mentioned "there is the Mayo Clinic." Later down the road she asked "why is only males." Soo funny and true!

Sister Katie
Unread 06-28-2002, 10:04 AM
Funniest things your kids have done

When our 3rd child was about 3...she was not staying in her bed. It was way past bedtime, and she would get up....I would tell her to go back to bed...this went on for a while, so i decided to change my strategy just a bit, and when she'd come into the living room, I would just get up, not say anything and put her back in her bed......well, we know how long a child can keep doing the same Finally, I had had enough....and I said, Lindsay get into that bed NOW, and stay there!!! She put her hands on her hips, took a deep breath.....and said but MOMMY, I can't sleep....I told her she wasn't laying down long enough to go to sleep....she said, No.....I can't sleep cuz my hair is growing too fast!!!!!

It was all my DH and I could do to keep a straight face until we got her out of the room! Where DO they come up with this stuff? LOL

Unread 06-28-2002, 11:24 AM
Funniest things your kids have done

These stories have been cracking me up! Thanks for sharing.

My daughters are 10 and 15. We were having a conversation about history. (school project or something) My 10 year old said. George Washington is my favorite president because he fought in the civil war. (we all know he didn't) and I said Oh.really?
My 15 year old gave me a look of shock and said"MOM, I can not believe you are going to let her say that!"
I asked her why not and what was wrong with it? Her reply was another look of shock. She thought my 10 year old had said........... My favorite president was George Washington but his wife was a *****!

I laughed so hard I thought my stomach would split. Kids!!!
Unread 06-28-2002, 05:58 PM
Funniest things your kids have done

When my youngest daughter was about 8 (she's 21 now) we were getting ready to go to the waterpark on a hot July day. That same day the street crews were putting tar in the cracks of our street. After getting the cooler packed, got suits, towels, chairs ready to go we went to get into the car. Well, the car doors were locked so when my DH went to put the key in the keyhole he discovered that all the card dook locks were tarred shut. My daughter had taken some of the hot tar off the street, put it on the end of a stick and tarred the card shut. Then she was furious because she could not imagine whay wer were now going to stay home.

Another time I got up in the morning to find all the fish in the aquarium floating dead on top of the tank. There was a gooey film of something in the tank. This same daughter infromed me that she put lotion in the tank to help the fish with their dry, scaly skin.

Shes's also the daughter that had to go to the emergency room because she super glued her ears to the side of her head (glasses attached) because she thought her ears stuck out (they don't).
Unread 06-28-2002, 08:12 PM

These are so funny!

I've thought of a couple more.

One day, my oldest son David, who was in first grade at the time, came home from school upset because some kids were picking on him. I sat down to talk with him about it. He looked up at me and said, "Mom, if those kids don't stop picking on me, I'm not going to crack anymore jokes!"


In the car on the way to school one day, I was lecturing my youngest son, Micah, about his grades. Micah, who was 9 years old at the time, looked at me and said, "Mom, you're making an incomplete fool out of me in front of all these people." I looked around our car and asked, "What people? There's only you and me in the car!" He rolled his eyes and said, "Well, you're a people, aren't you?"


My husband, who was in the army, had to go to South Florida for a few weeks of training. Watching his dad get his gear together, Micah (age 7) asked him, "Daddy, where are you going?" "I'm going to Miami." my husband replied. Micah thought about it a minute and asked, "Daddy, where's your amie?"
Unread 06-28-2002, 08:19 PM
Funniest things your kids have done

These stories are cracking me up! Lynn Mary, Her ears??
My now 27 year old was 3 at the time I was being the good mother and took him to the library to pick out some books. We got his books and I started looking for a book for myself. The library had a lot of people there that day and of course it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He was getting restless and I bent down and told him to straighten up, I was almost done. He very calmly leaned up against the shelf, crossed his feet, put his hand on his hip and as loud as he could says, " you have p***ed me off all day long." Needles to say we left. We still can't figure out where he heard that word. Other words maybe, but not that one.

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