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Six years and it's hit me Six years and it's hit me

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  #1  
Unread 06-27-2002, 04:22 PM
Six years and it's hit me

Six years ago I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age of 18. The doctor performed a laparotomy and removed the ovary (which ended up being 26lbs), the tube, etc. A year later, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis. One year ago (almost!) I gave up and had a LAVH. I have been very strong throughout the whole ordeal but now, I am about to lose it. I just had my six year anniversary (anniversary of my initial cancer diagnosis) and it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I keep wondering why me? I can't talk to my DH because he is too busy feeling sorry for himself that he has a wife who has had all of this nonsense. I just don't really know where to go from here. I am VERY grateful for my health. I just can't help but looking backwards.



Debbie
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  #2  
Unread 06-27-2002, 04:36 PM
Six years and it's hit me

HI DEBBIE
YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. I AM SORRY YOUR HAVING SUCH A TOUGH TIME, YOUR VERY YOUNG INDEED TO BE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS.
I ALSO KNOW THE FEELING OF THE QUESTION ( WHY ME? )
WE ALL , NO MATTER WHAT AGE GO THROUGH THIS DEPRESSION ABOUT OUR CANCER.
I CAN ONLY GIVE YA A BIG AND
AND TELL YOU TO KEEP YOUR CHIN UP. AT LEAST YOUR HEALTHY, RIGHT?? THEY CAUGHT THE BAD CELLS AND YOU HAD THEM REMOVED.
HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO AN ONOCOLOGIST?? THEY REALLY KNOE WHAT THEY ARE DOING WHEN IT COMES TO CANCER .
FIND A GOOD ONOCLOGIST/ GYNE AND SEE WHAT HE OR SHE SAYS. ASK ALOT OF QUESTIONS IF YOUR IN DOUGHT ABOUT ANYTHING, THEY WILL EASE YOUR MIND DEAR.
PRAYERS AND GOOD THOUGHTS COMING YOUR WAY.
  #3  
Unread 06-27-2002, 05:22 PM
Six years and it's hit me

Yes, I have seen several oncologists, actually. And everyone agrees that I am cancer free, which is wonderful. It really is. I just can't kick this feeling of why did it happen in the first place? I know that I need to adapt and overcome but when I think back on everything, I just can't believe that it has all happened to me. I do honestly feel blessed to have come out of it all and that was my train of thought for the past six years. But now, looking back on everything that happened, I can't help but thinking that it was unfair and I don't know why it happened to me.
Just feeling sorry for myself and I need to get over it but I can't!



Debbie
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  #4  
Unread 06-27-2002, 06:04 PM
Six years and it's hit me

YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF.
CRY TOO IF YOU WANT. IT'S GOOD TO GET THIS OFF YOUR CHEST. BE THANKFUL THOUGH ,IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.
I AM STILL SORRY FOR MYSELF AND SO ARE ALL OF THE LADIES HERE. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU JUST GET OVER.
BUT, YOU MUST CRY AND FEEL SORRY THAN GO ON TO YOUR NEW AND HEALTHY LIFE.
PLEASE COME HERE AND FEEL SORRY ANYTIME YOU WANT TO. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.
  #5  
Unread 06-27-2002, 07:14 PM
Six years and it's hit me

s Debbie

I think you are an incredibly strong and courageous young lady. You have been through more pain, suffering, loss, and frightening times than most people three times your age!!!! As a matter of fact, most people your age still believe they are immortal.
It's probably quite overwhelming for your husband as well. Men tend to internalize.
Now that all the crisises have passed, it is starting to catch up with you emotionally. And I think that is quite normal. Like a solider after the Vietnam War. I hope your health insurance includes mental health professionals. I think you could really benefit from talking with someone. Maybe even including your husband at some point. You really should give it a try.
You have your whole life ahead. Live it to the fullest.
Best WIshes.
Stop back again Debbie, and let us know how you are!!!!

karenann
  #6  
Unread 06-28-2002, 04:19 AM
Six years and it's hit me

I have been to several therapists and they are all amazed that I am "doing so well". The last one I go to said "It's amazing that you get out of bed in the morning". And I do and I go about my days like nothing has happened. My DH is in therapy right now and I am sure that my situation is a huge part of his sessions. I don't know, I guess I just need to break down and cry :cry: and get it over with. Thanks for all the help - you guys are the best!



Debbie
  #7  
Unread 06-28-2002, 09:27 AM
Six years and it's hit me

{{Debbie}}

Please don't beat yourself up for having these feelings, there ISN'T any "right" way to handle this. Nor is there any one way of dealing with things long term.

I'm not as far along as you are on your intial diagnosis and quite a bit older but I have good days full of positive thoughts and bad days too full of fear. Thankfully the negative ones are further apart the farther out I go.

I truly believe that all things happen for a reason and we may not always be able to figure out the "whys" right away. I think in my case, this all brought me back down to earth and taught me to not take "everything" so seriously. I'm still working on part of this but getting there

I'm glad to hear your DH is talking to someone, I would highly recommend you do as well. Even if only to get you through this down time, it sure helps to talk to someone who's "neutral" in their views.

I wish you the best and hope you'll continue to visit us here and keep us posted on how you are doing. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

{{hugs}}

Vicki
  #8  
Unread 06-28-2002, 06:08 PM
HI Deb

I just want to offer some more and support and
You are so young to have gone through all of this. I am so sorry. And it isn't fair. And we just don't know why we have some of the experiences we have in life.
Hopefully when all is said and done we can look back on our lives and feel that the good things have outweighed the bad.
I seem to be going through a hard emotional time right now too which I don't completely understand. I do think it is important to respect all of our feelings though and let them out. Then we can begin to understand and heal them.
Please find yourself a good support group if you don't already have one. It can be a friend or friends if they are up to it, or contact your hospital or church to see if there is a cancer support group you could attend. Sometimes we need other people to help us understand what we are going through. It is very healing to be with other people who are having similar experiences.
Come here as often as you need to. The women here are all 's.
  #9  
Unread 06-28-2002, 06:39 PM
Six years and it's hit me

Thank you Shelley. It seems that you've had a very rough time, too. I hope you have found good support.
And you're right - the women here are wonderful!

Debbie
  #10  
Unread 06-28-2002, 06:55 PM
Six years and it's hit me

Hi Debby,

I just wanted to add another to the pile. You are an incredible survivor, but you also have every right to break down and cry if you need to. This is one place you do not need to be strong - if a helps, by all means have it here. You feel what you feel - there is no one right way to feel with all you have been through.

Stop in anytime you need to chat or grab a

Dorrie
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