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Sex is impossible Sex is impossible

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Unread 01-09-2017, 08:14 PM
Angry - Sex is impossible Sex is impossible

Hi all ,
I found this site searching for answers to the severe painful intercourse attempts I've had since having a total hysterectomy with a bladder & rectal repair on June 6th 2016.
I am currently seeing a Physical Therapist and using dilators but no matter how much lubricant I put on my husband when he enters me I feel like I'm being ripped and cut. I can only imagine it is like being raped.
I am in total disbelief that I'm having such terrible pain as I've always enjoyed sex. I am beginning to think that I will never have pain free intercourse again. In fact I have not been even able to have intercourse as I can NOT tolerate the pain! The more I read about this the more I think I'm ruined to have sex ever again!!
I'm am angry that the doctor never told me that these things could happen as I really went just for a bladder prolapse repair and was told I should have a total hysterectomy too.
Because I was 55 at the time I figured why not it would save me from being concerned later about cancer. That was one of the reasons the Dr gave for doing the hysterectomy.
Holy Cow would I not have had the hysterectomy if I knew this would happen!!! I'm so upset! Hoping to find some suggestions here.
Thank you.
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Unread 01-16-2017, 07:05 AM
Sex is impossible

i have had some luck using vaginal moisterizers like Replens or Vagisal, twice a week, and then using coconut oil as a lubricant for sex. I am almost 8 months out from surgery and the more time that has passed, more healing has occurred, but sex resulted in pain and burning for me, and burning for my husband as well for the first few months until I tried the moisterizer and coconut oil. I think it is from dryness. Don't give up, it can get better. Hugs to you, this is the saddest effect of this surgery but some products, and time, and continued effort can help. Some sisters have also tried physical therapy.
Unread 01-16-2017, 10:29 AM
Re: Sex is impossible

I am in Physical therapy and am now trying Vit E suppositories. I'm just so angry that I really didn't need the hysterectomy but the Doctor made it sound like it would be best if I had it. I am going to try a few more thing to relieve the pain. I won't have a doctor do an unnecessary surgery and not tell about the consequences! I'd like to find a way to warn all women before they have this surgery as in my opinion this should not be done unless you have cancer or something very serious. Still trying to have some hope!
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Unread 01-16-2017, 03:50 PM
Re: Sex is impossible

Yes, I understand your anger. My GYN told my husband and I during my preop appointment that sexual dysfunction was a myth. It makes me think now that he didn't want to hear any concerns about it afterwards. Sex was painful for me prior to surgery as I had endo, which had entered the cecum of my intestine so I had to have a bowel resection. I decided with the gyno's recommendation to have a hysterectomy because I didn't want endo hurting any more of my bowel. One doctor told me intercourse would be better after the surgery, its just now getting comfortable again. I hope you find some resolution soon. I do believe the atrophy gets worse with limited to no sex so try whatever you can to get it feeling comfortable. Hang in there. I know it sounds weird but the coconut oil has really helped me. My hubby puts it on himself also prior to penetration. Give the physical therapy more time too.
Unread 02-04-2017, 10:26 AM
Sex is impossible

Just from my personal experience; I had a hysterectomy 9yrs ago with bladder sling. Thank goodness never any issues. 10 months ago I had a rectocele repair w vaginal vault lift. Dr never told me how tight things were gonna be. Hell I thought he sewed her shut...patience and using is the key. First of all; have a drink lol, try to relax, foreplay is a must. Lube and I was told to use three sizes of dilatory-small,med,large. You need to stretch things back out. Our love life is almost back to normal-and we are active. You must relax! Orgasms are plentiful but with a little more effort...haha! Certain positions are a little painful-so switch positions! Clitoris toys are need more too....a little bummed but fun over all. I hope this helped in someway and don't give up!!!
Unread 06-10-2017, 12:50 AM
Re: Sex is impossible

I am in the same position that you are in.
I had to do the hysterectomy due to uterine prolapse. My doctor also never warned me. His notes state how well I am doing. He has ignored the fact that I am having pain. It is not in my medical records
Unread 08-01-2017, 06:06 PM
Re: Sex is impossible

I had mine at the recommendation of the doctor. I'm a breast cancer survivor so when he said the C word, I jumped on the bandwagon. Turns out the drug I was on (Tamoxifen) can cause thickening of the uterus - the reason for my hysterectomy. I wish I had known this before
All sex drive is gone. Pain and bleeding for days. No estrogen for me due to the type of cancer I had. He left so I am facing life without sexual pleasure. Anybody have a time machine or a magic wand?

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