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Getting nervous - just need to vent and cry :( Getting nervous - just need to vent and cry :(

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Unread 07-11-2002, 06:21 AM
Getting nervous - just need to vent and cry :(

Hi there,

I haven't posted in a while, but my surgery is drawing near and I have to say I am getting a bit nervous. I'm having the TVH on July 22nd, and it seems to have sneaked up on me. My next 10 days are extremely busy too. I have my in-laws in for the weekend this weekend which is booked with family-o-rama activities ranging from amusement parks to weddings, then trying to get stuff scheduled to get done in the evenings next week that I can't do for a while. I have to drop off my foster dog (we work with collie rescue) at her new home Monday, Wednesday I scheduled a counselor's appointment, just to get my thoughts straight before surgery, next weekend is booked with other crap....Am I overloading myself, or is it good to keep busy?

My stomach is all upset, I'm eating more but so stressed that is comes right out (sorry for the bluntness). My marriage is still suffering from all of this, and I'm trying not to worry about that right now - but there is so much I still feel robbed of that has nothing to do with my uterus! Deep down, I know that DH does not agree with my decision and thinks I am being paranoid, can't seem to get that out of my head - his comments play like a record over and over in my head...... Worried that DH won't be there for me, so I'm, lining up other volunteers for during my recovory. I think Snickers (my collie) knows I am stressed, he's a total Mama's boy right now - and as any dog lovers know, it actually helps to look into his caring eyes.... He brings me joy!

AARRGGHH! Anyway, I just needed to vent I guess, I'm on the verge or tears every second right now. Don't know if it is PMS (yes lucky me, I get to enjoy one more period next week before my surgery - BTW, will that matter for the surgery? It will be on it's last day or so by then).

Am I acting crazy? Or am I making too much out of this? I don't know what to do! I am not feeling sorry for myself, I'm just nervous and that normal?

This board has helped tremendously, I thank you all!!

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Unread 07-11-2002, 07:51 AM
Getting nervous - just need to vent and cry :(


I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are feeling so nervous and stresssed right now, and yes, I do think it's completely normal to be so on edge. You have made a big decision, and I think that the time between the decision and the surgery is the hardest part -- I just wanted to go ahead and get it over with! You asked about keeping busy vs. being overloaded, and from my perspective, keeping busy is definitelly the way to go. Of course, everyone is different, but I felt like doing fun family things made the waiting go faster, and taking care of all the last minute arrangements kept me from thinking about my cancer and surgery every second of the day. What worked for me was to allow myself some quiet times to think/cry/pray, but between those times to make my life as fun and busy as I could.

I'm sorry you don't feel supported by your hubby right now. I bet he is scared too. It is YOUR decision, and I know you have carefully considered everything before reaching that decision, so don't look back. Do what you think is best for your body! It sounds like you are taking good care of YOU -- lining up help, etc.

Keep us posted and come here to vent anytime.

Unread 07-11-2002, 08:09 AM
Getting nervous - just need to vent and cry :(

Thank you for your thoughts Joanie! I think you are right about the keeping busy thing too. I guess I may as well exhaust myself now, I'll be resting a lot in the weeks to come!!

I do look upon my decision everyday knowing that it is the right one for me, which gives me peace. I have calculated the "ifs" from all sides, and despite my DH's disapproval, I know that in the end, I must live with my decisions, no matter what the outcome, and I can control my health, no one else can.

I suppose right now I am waivering in and out of moments of complete enlightenment, and being scared stiff. But onward and upward!!

These things can only make us stronger!

And I'm taking lots of vitamins and trying to eat good veggies and stuff to help in my recovory and keep my immune system up!

And not many people my age can actually know when their LAST period is! I think I'll hand out my left over sanitary products as parting gifts to my visitors!!

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Unread 07-11-2002, 02:10 PM
Vent Away--This is the Place!

I agree keeping busy is the best--I was so busy from the time I found out I'd need surgery until I had it that I didn't have that much time to get panicked. Besides, there'll be that downtime afterward while you recover--and follow doctors' orders, no matter what anyone else does or says! I'm sorry about the situation with DH--and will that he does come through for you. The question of doing the surgery during or at the end of a period has come up on pre-op--they're used to encountering that! I know about the food going through--the least bit of tension for me (and there's ten tons right now) and zoom! Just think about when it's over and you're recovering with the surgery behind you. It's very normal to be nervous and worried, etc. We all were! Big and come back to vent or talk anytime!
Unread 07-11-2002, 03:26 PM
Getting nervous - just need to vent and cry :(

s Susan

I too think what you are going through is so normal. It's just an anxiety producing time. I also agree with the keep busy philosophy. Just to keep the next ten days moving along.
I was out to dinner last night with a dear 50 year old friend. Right at the table she had a major menstrual accident. It made me realize fully how much I don't miss those days at all. So try and smile as you give away those sanitary products.
Hang in there. Soon this will be behind you and you'll be a princess.

Unread 07-11-2002, 11:31 PM
Hi Sweetie!

sss to you. It is late, and there ar eso many things I would like yo say. I remember feeling like my surgery just crept up on me too, the all of a sudden- I was going under. I hope you stay busy, it is good for you I think. Even now, I mourn and wonder if there was something else they could of done, or if it was a mistake. It is very hard to cope with. I am so sorry about your DH. He is probably so scared for you as well. Hang in there. I had my last period the week before mu surgery, that made me very depressed knowing I would never ovulate again. I so proud of you for going to counseling. You are a smart girl. Best wishes and a big
Unread 07-11-2002, 11:50 PM
Getting nervous - just need to vent and cry :(

Hi Susan,
Here is a true story about surgery. They did a huge study on people who were about to go in for surgery. Half the group they did intensive work with, meditating, envisioning themselves relaxed, chanting to themselves " I feel good, I am going to have a painless surgery.."
The other group they left alone.

Which group do you think recovered more quickly from their surgeries? ...The group they left alone! It turns out all that adreneline (sp?) in our systems, (from the anxiety), before surgery helps us to heal more quickly.

So your fear is very natural and is your body's way of preparing itself for the road ahead.

Thank you for sharing your feelings here. It really helps me.
Unread 07-13-2002, 11:35 PM

Judy, this is very interesting. I love to learn this factoids. Thanks! Good thoughts and lots of love to you swooz. sss
Unread 07-13-2002, 11:38 PM

Please excuse my spelling on my last post- boy I must have been up in the middle of the night with one eye open!!!!

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