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I feel so sad -- need to vent I feel so sad -- need to vent

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  #1  
Unread 09-10-2002, 04:04 PM
I feel so sad -- need to vent

Hi guys--

I'm having a bad day and I need to vent. I went back to work yesterday and will work for the next two weeks (I work two weeks, then get chemo, then am off two weeks, then work two weeks, etc.). I'm just so upset -- everytime I go back to work, I get the same lecture from my supervisor about being gone -- today, she told me that they are being "overly understanding" about my being gone. Geez, I can't help it if I have cancer, can I? All of my vacation and sick time is used up for the year, so I am using unpaid time for when I am gone. My husband and I haven't had a decent vacation since I got sick two years ago. She also asked me if it would be possible if I could "make up the time I'm gone." I explained to her that when I am home, I am not having a party -- I'm just laying on the sofa feeling like I'm going to puke for two weeks and when I come back, I still feel pretty lousy. All in all, I feel really, really down -- like I'm not a member of anything anymore -- except this board. I feel like no one at work understands what I am going through. I feel so alone with this illness -- sometimes it feels like you are my only friends. I don't feel like a member of the team at work or in society. Does any of this make sense? I'm glad that the chemo is working, but when I told my supervisor that this chemo is finally working, the only thing she could say was "Does that mean you will be coming back to work on a full time basis sooner?" Sometimes I just feel like giving up...

Thanks for listening,

Love,

Cyndy
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  #2  
Unread 09-10-2002, 05:26 PM
I feel so sad -- need to vent

s Cyndy

I am so sorry to read that you are having such a difficult time with your work environment. The only two weeks of the month when you feel half decent and you have to put up with this!
Does your state have a temporary disability policy? If so, I'm sure while you are undergoing chemo, your onc would be more than happy to file it for you.
I wish I had some better advice for you.
You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

karenann
  #3  
Unread 09-10-2002, 05:29 PM
THAT STINKS! JUST PLAIN STINKS!

She won't need a costume for Halloween--just go as herself and she'll be in a witch's costume already. Well, she sure doesn't know what it's like having cancer and treatment all right--"make up the time"--sure--even at my BEST last year while working through treatment a regular day was IT. I couldn't handle more. AND WHAT ABOUT FAMILY LEAVE? Are you in a big enough employer to have that Federal Mandate. That's 12 weeks a year you can take--(without pay, but hey--it's law and that's something)--atop vacation, etc. Do you have a Union? (Doesn't sound like it.) How about Human Resources--that sounds vaguely threatenign to me. I would start to document all of this VERY CAREFULLY because you may have the start of something going and get your doctor(s) to document about your being off--that it's not just wanting off but that you can't function, have nausea, etc. If she were so "overly understanding" she would KNOW a few things and wouldn't be lecturing, etc. Document, document, document, hope you are in a 50+ person employer (Federal Leave Laws Cover), and tell her one more nasty comment out of her and she's going to have to mess with ME--not that I have much energy (not to mention low red cells in all counts and probably low white cells coming) but I can get my Badger fighting spirit up when I have to and with luck I'll encounter her the day after my next chemo (hopefully 10/1) and though I hate to say this: I hope the Zofran doesn't work and I all over her. Man--nothing like an irate Badger!
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  #4  
Unread 09-10-2002, 06:33 PM
{{{Cyndy}}}}

Oh Cyndy girl,
That woman is a witch with a capital *B* pardon the language. How hurtful can she be? First of all she has no Heart, and second of all she has no idea what it's like to go through a cancer dx not to mention the treatment.Makes me SOOOOOOO mad! Do I need to make a quick trip to Wisconsin?? I could do it Cyndy, and I'll bring that Hippo in the tu tu and we'll both do a DANCE NUMBER ON HER HEAD!! This stuff really ticks me off. Cyndy, if I could I'd reach through this screen and give you the biggest hug. Look at all of Ellens suggestions, I'm sure they all apply to you. Please know that we're here for ya sweetie. Anytime you need to talk or vent or fuss or cry, we're here. I'm with ya Cyndy girl, you're in my heart now and I ain't lettin ya go..
Give me a holler, and me and the hippo will hop a plane..
Love and hugs and prayers and 2 special Angels
In Christ,
Susan
  #5  
Unread 09-10-2002, 07:19 PM
Cyndy

Between me, Susan (Shullet) and the Hippo--you've got quite the backing here! Do you know any lawyers you could quickly run this past (for free) to see where you might stand? Might not be a bad idea to consult one. If you don't, you can call the State Bar and they have a lawyer referral service (referral service is free) and they'll refer you to Madison area lawyers who handle this type of situation.
  #6  
Unread 09-10-2002, 07:50 PM
I feel so sad -- need to vent

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

On top of the Family Medical Leave Act (which is a federal law) many states have their own version. Here in Oregon, it protects employees who work for employers with 25 or more employees.

In addition, the Americans with Disabilities Act protects employees from discrimination based on their disability. And yes, cancer is usually defined as a disability. Under this law, your employer is required to enter into a interactive exchange about how to "reasonably"accommodate your disability. This could very well be a reduced work schedule, etc. Harassing you about your disability or the accommodation could be discriminatory behavior, or a form of harassment. It could also cause you such stress that you would need treatment by a physician which then could fall into the workers compensation realm. In addition, if your supervisor makes your job so unpleasant that a "reasonable" person would want to quit, you may have another reason to bring action against them.

I work in Human Resources and if you have someone in HR you may want to talk with them. When you ask for an accommodation due to your disability, it sets the stage and no HR person worth their salt would take this lightly. This is lawsuit material.

I know that you don't need this right now. My God, you are fighting for your life. They will never understand this.
My prayers are for you.
  #7  
Unread 09-11-2002, 05:25 AM
Great Advice

Big Time s,
Your boss is an idiot! Everyone who posted is right - she can't do this; it is lawsuit material. And definitely document. You may also want to get a note from the chemo lab each time and just send a copy to your boss (keeping a copy for yourself).

My office is real careful cuz they know I'd sue in a heartbeat. Also helps (me at least) that three years ago they "eliminated" the job of a lady while she was off for radiation treatment. She sued and won big time.

Tell your boss if she could go in for your treatments, you'd be glad to come to the office. Bet she'll take you up on that!!

Hang in there. We love you ,
Laura
  #8  
Unread 09-11-2002, 02:40 PM
I feel so sad -- need to vent

OH CYNDY,
SO YOU WORK FOR THE SAME PEOPLE I DO!!! WOW, WHAT A
COINCIDENCE !!!!
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL, WHEN I HAD MY HYST THEY KEPT CALLING ME TO SEE HOW I WAS??? YEAH, RIGHT AND AT THE END OF EVERY CONVERSATION , IT WENT LIKE THIS "SO, WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK??? I WAS ONLY GONE 1 WEEK WHEN THEY STARTED. WELL, DO YA THINK YOU COULD MAYBE COME IN FOR 3 HOURS AND GO HOME WHEN YOU GET TIRED??
HOW ABOUT COMING IN AT 12 AND LEAVING AT 2 , JUST FOR THE CHECK RUN?? OH, LORD!!!
NOW, WHEN ONE OF THEM GAVE A SIMPLE LITTLE COLD, I WANT YOU TO KNOW IT'S A CATASTROPHE, OH MY GOD, THEY HAVE TO STAY HOME SO THEY DON'T GET WORSE!!
OH POOR CYNDY I KNOW, ALL TO WELL.
YOU TAKE YOUR TIME OFF AND GET WELL, THEY ONLY CARE FOR
THE WORK GETTING OUT AND IF THEY ARE NOT PAYING YOU, THAN , HEY!! WHO CARES. THEY CAN NOT FIRE YOU,AS YOU CAN SEEK AN ATTORNEY SO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
HANG IN THERE. YOU'LL SOON BE FINE AND MAYBE YOU COULD THAN FIND SOMETHING BETTER.
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