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Unread 09-18-2002, 10:10 PM

I'm almost seven months post-op and I just can't seem to shake this depression. I feel empty. I feel violated. And these feelings just don't seem to want to go away. Oh... yeah... I'm 25. I had a TAH on March 5th. I have a four year old son who lives with my parents because my I really have nothing left to give... and well, my son needs care. It seems like I have spent my entire adult life grieving. First there were the bruises and violations that my son's father put on the outside of my body and in my mind.... and then once I got rid of him my doctor... well, my gyno... tells me about the violations on the inside... the cervical dysplasia....

Then came the heavy bleeding and finally the hysterectomy.

Then I read in many books that maybe it wasn't necessary... and that makes me feel guilty. But the hormones wouldn't stop the bleeding.... even though my gynecologyst removed an almost perfectly normal uterus. The only thing that was physically wrong were the adhesions... caused by my son's father insisting that I be sexually available to him only four days after my C-Section.

I wanted five children... and because of everything, I'm not even able to care for the one that I do have.

The mental health system here just keeps putting me on more and more medications. There is no one on one counseling for people on medical coupons. And I'm so... so... tired.

To top everything off, I'm a little overweight and so little kids are always asking me if I'm pregnant. Can't yell at them though... they're just kids.

Plus... my sister-in-law is due to have a baby any time now. I'm just not having a good time.

Thanks for listening anyway.

Lisse :cry:
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Unread 09-19-2002, 01:42 AM


Can you look for a community center? There are community health clinics in nearly every community, or "free clinics". And if you look in the local alternative paper, you may also find groups for domestic abuse survivors.

You do need to find some sort of support system of women who understand what you have been through. You're lucky that you are away from the it's time to work on the hold it has on your mind. I know in the Seattle/Tacoma area and outlying areas, there are community health options. Look on the Web, or look in the phone book under "domestic violence" either in the blue pages or yellow pages.

You must take care of yourself. Healing will come, although probably not from the medical community, and not overnight. Keep posting here, as well: you are by no means the only abuse survivor. Nor are you the only one with surgery so young. There are many sisters here who can support you in this special grief.

BTW, what song is that quoted in your signature? I've been going crazy trying to find out what it is and who it's was on West Wing just tonight, and I've got to get the CD.

Keep posting here...we'll be here, to offer a or some support, or information...

Unread 09-19-2002, 02:40 PM

Audrey has given you some really good options to look to for help. Here in our small town we have a local womans shelter. Even though you have made the physical break from you he is holding on to you emotionally. If you have a shelter, you can stop by or call and they will be very helpful in finding a support group for you. You are not alone and there *is* light at the end of this tunnel. You have taken a great step in posting here. That tells me you *are* a strong woman and you *can* rise above this.
Please read through this forum. You have been through a lot for a young woman and we are here for you too. My for you is that you will read these replies and feel the love and support you are getting and know that we are here to listen. Keep in touch. Karlene
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Unread 09-19-2002, 03:04 PM


The song that is in my signature is Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright. I know for sure that it's on the Shrek soundtrack. I'm sure that it's on one of his albums as well.



Sadly, I have tried the one domestic violence group in my town (I have no car and cannot drive) and they said they only help people who are currently being abused or people who are being stalked by their ex.

I have come to the conclusion that if I am to do any healing at all, it will have to be a combination of my own efforts and venting here.

My husband is thrilled that I had a hysterectomy because he hates children.


Unread 09-19-2002, 06:22 PM

Dear Lisse:

Here are some links that you may find helpful also:
(Resource for domestic violence)

I hope the words you write and read here are helpful to you.

Sending huge cyberhugs

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