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Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

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  #1  
Unread 09-24-2002, 11:51 AM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

Will this ever END!!!!!!!! I went to the MD today and found out that the Doxil has probably stopped working -- it rose five points since the last time. I know that is not much, but that has been the pattern of the last three chemos I have tried -- it initially starts to work and then it stops working. The MD is not sure, but he thinks this one has also stopped working. This is the third one in a row that has stopped working! I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. He was telling me that I should consider that my ovarian cancer is a chronic illness and that I should expect to be on chemo indefinitely. Well, I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT! I'm just in tears -- with work being uncooperative and my dog being unwell, this is just too much to handle. I was so upset that they had one of the health psychologists talk to me when I was getting my chemo today (they want to try one more month of the Doxil and then see what happens, so I had more Doxil today). This is just so frustrating that it is almost hard to put into words. I don't want to live my life like this -- from chemo to chemo. He was saying that some cancers are just resistant to treatment and cannot be cured. I wanted to ask him if my condition was terminal, but my husband stopped me and said that I didn't need to know the answer (but I already do...). I will be starting a support-type group next month called "Renewing Life" for people with chronic illnesses, but just thinking about having a chronic illness just is making me so upset. I want to kick this so bad, but from the way the MD was talking, it sounds like it is not going to happen. As you know, I am a Christian and I keep telling myself "Not my will, but Thine be done," but I feel so weak and fragile right now. I will be calling my own health psychologist to talk to him (probably tomorrow) and perhaps seeing him earlier. I just had to type this because I knew that you wonderful ladies whom I consider my friends would understand. Could you please pray for my illness and for my peace of mind?

Love,

Cyndy
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  #2  
Unread 09-24-2002, 12:27 PM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

Cyndy, Bless your you are going through so much, but God Loves you and will bless you, I will pray that God gives you a spiritual healing and will turn things around for you. Cyndy, God is in control and knows the outcome, also where man and medicine fail, God will prevail! You try and get some and Hold on to your faith.

May God bless you always!
  #3  
Unread 09-24-2002, 01:00 PM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

OH, CYNDY

OH, HONEY, PLEASE STOP THINKING SO BADLY. GOD IS IN CONTROL AND WE MUST ALWAYS PRAY THAT HE WILL GIVE US STRENGTH TO OVER COME THESE BAD SITUATIONS. HE WILL TAKE CONTROL OF THIS , YOU MUST LET HIM. I KNOW THIS IS VERY EASY TO SAY. KEEP YOUR MIND ON OUR LORD AND HE WILL SURELY TURN THIS AROUND FOR YOU.
I AM PRAYING FOR YOU TOO JUST AS ALL THE LADIES HERE ARE DOING.
YOUR GOING TO BE O.K. S
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  #4  
Unread 09-24-2002, 01:41 PM
Cyndy--Sorry to Read This

Drat! First, see what happens with this Doxil; this could be a glitch from the bite and antibiotics in your system. Next month things could be steady or dropping again. If not, remember you are at a Comprehensive Cancer Center and they have clinical trials and lots of resources for you. There is lots of thinking that ovarian is to be considered chronic and can be treated with various chemos. There are new drugs out there being worked on and so holding on for a bit may pay big dividends for you. Do you post on Acor.org? This is 1200+ women from all over, all stages, and a majority in the same position you are. They're very knowledgeable and incredibly supportive. You get all the postings via e-mail but you can get a "digest" form so you get maybe once or twice a day and then all the posts that have come in listed, so it doesn't clog the mailbox. I have met Ingrid Dilley who does "Renewing Life" as she is also the cofounder of the local IANDS chapter whose meetings I attend. Glad you have the health psychologists available during treatment (we don't at Meriter). I'm staying with my social worker (I think) for now. It is helpful that's for sure. I'll be praying for you (you're on my now expanding and convoluted list only G-d can understand) and hoping that if Doxil doesn't do it, something else will. I do think you could learn a lot from Acor.org. Warning: every stage is on there, from newly diagnosed to end-of-life, but we are very careful and mark EOL issues as such. If you'd like more information, just e-mail. and that er
  #5  
Unread 09-24-2002, 01:52 PM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

s Cyndy

I can only imagine how deflated you must feel after that last much improved ca 125 reading. Unfortunately this nasty beast called ovarian cancer *****.
In case you are wondering, I censored myself.
I'm not sure if you are looking for spiritual comfort or some concrete advice. You know my prayers are always with you. As for concrete advice......
If I were in your shoes, I would request to have a tumor assay done at this time. They actually take a piece of your original tumor and find out exactly what chemotherapies it would be sensitive to. Unfortunately with ovca this is not done routinely at the time of our debulking surgery. But it can and should be done now, with your cancer proving to be resistant to so many chemos. I don't know if your hospital is capable of this testing, but they should know where it could be done for you. If not, have them contact Johns Hopkin Univ Hospital in Baltimore MD.
Give yourself a day or two to grieve this latest news. And then get back to aggressively fighting.
I hope you also read my posting about the OCNA conference. Clinical trials are also out there Cyndy.

karenann
  #6  
Unread 09-24-2002, 02:32 PM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

Cyndy,

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you have gotten this disappointing news and that things in general aren't going your way right now. I will pray that the Doxil is indeed working and that that will be shown the next time you are tested. I will also pray for you to have the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. Cancer is so horrible and it is not fair that any of us have to deal with it. I am also a Christian and it is hard to think of any of this as being in God's will. I do believe that God uses our experiences, good and bad, for his service, and I do know that you have ministered to others here so often, so you have helped many through your experiences. I know that you are upset and scared, and it is good for you to come here and post about it and get it out. I hope it helps you in some way to know that people here are pulling for you all the way!

Joanie
  #7  
Unread 09-24-2002, 03:11 PM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

Hi Cyndy,
I as well am very sorry to hear this latest news!
I think that you would be a wonderful candidate for clinical trials, as you are young and otherwise healthy, and therefore I would think you would be very eligible to try these.

I can imagine you are indeed sick and tired of this ongoing for so long, but the fact that you are angry means you have fight in you, and I truly hope you will continue to fight this.

Your job and the problems with the dog are not helping I am sure, and add to your discouragement. I truly wish there was a way you could take an extended leave from work, as I think that burden off your shoulders would help you a great deal. But I do realize we all need our paychecks coming in, and I am sure you would be taking a leave if you could.

Hopefully as Ellen said its just a matter of the bite and antiboitics playing havoc on your results, and hopefully they will turn around.
Sending lots of hugs, love and prayers to you.
Maria xoxo
  #8  
Unread 09-24-2002, 07:00 PM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

(((Cyndy)))

I wish I had just the right words to take all of this away and make it OK for you. Please know that you are in my 'ers. Don't give up!

  #9  
Unread 09-24-2002, 07:21 PM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

Cyndy,

Sending prayers and hugs your way.

It's okay to come here and vent anytime. It has got to be very discouraging to be told that this chemo may not be working and that your cancer may be a chronic form. I have not had cancer, but my heart goes out to you and all the other incredibly brave ladies here who are battling cancer.

You're in my thoughts. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Beth
  #10  
Unread 09-24-2002, 07:40 PM
Dr. visit today -- not good news -- feel very upset

Hi Cyndy,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through! We're here for you! Sending positive thoughts, and healing s your way!
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