Afraid of being alone... | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy) is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators. is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support

Afraid of being alone... Afraid of being alone...

Thread Tools
Unread 09-27-2002, 09:06 AM
Afraid of being alone...

As I sit here and read the Princess' stories about their trips to the Castle, it shoots through me like a x dh will be dropping me off at the castle at the crack of dawn, then he HAS to go to work.....and will not return til' that night(at which point, I PROBABLY will NOT want to see his face)-but I will have to do all of this waiting before and then waking up in the recovery room after, ALONE. I don't do alone well....I was very independent growing up.......but the older I get, the more I realize I can't be a tough girl anymore. I want someone to love me, hold me, kiss the tears away(wow, that's a fantasy land I might find again one day!)...but I will be there ALONE! Sisters, have any of you had to do this, also...or know you will have to? Am I over reacting? Will all the drugs make me NOT care that there is NO ONE there when I wake from the fog? Help!
Sponsored Links
Unread 09-27-2002, 09:24 AM
know how you feel

Sweetie, yes, I was in the same boat as you. My husband said he didn't want to be anywhere near the hospital when I had my surgery 8 weeks ago, and I planned on driving myself. He would maybe come by that night, he said. But early the next morning, my 5 year old got very upset at me leaving "for a few days" and my husband and son ended up driving me there, dropping me off and going back home. I was very scared in pre-op alone, but to tell the truth, my husband is not the comforting type, so I don't think he could have helped me. I cried all the way into the operating room and was so glad to go unconscious.

I woke up in recovery alone, but I was so drugged I don't really remember it much, and I don't recall wishing he was there. I was barely aware of anything until later in the afternoon, and was shocked to find my husband had come back. He sat by me for several hours, and held water to my mouth when I said I was thirsty, then went home again. I remember that I was glad he was there, although I wasn't really able to speak to him, and I don't think he spoke to me. Not because I needed the help, really -- I was just a lump on the bed too tired to open my eyes -- but because it was a sign that he cared. But of course, we all know in this situation, emotional support is more important than anything. Maybe your husband can't take the whole day off, but how about a long lunch? Or maybe get off a few hours early? Or maybe there is someone else you know who would be willing to sit with your for a few hours?

But if not, don't worry too much. I know that for me, I was so relieved and happy it was over, and I was floating around in such a drug haze, that nothing really bothered me. It would have been impossible to hold a thought long enough to feel upset. I was absoutely willing to let whatever was happening to happen. So maybe it'll be the same for you. Good luck, and take care--

Unread 09-27-2002, 09:26 AM
I know exactly how you feel!

You are not alone in feeling this way.
I report to the hospital on Thursday at 1pm and do all the admission routines of I.D bracelets etc and later see surgical team and A man...DH is taking me and will return home at 3pm and collect kids from school and bring them to hospital for a a visit. They will leave by 8pm at the latest when visiting finishes. This will be the last time I see my folks until AFTER my surgery the NEXT what time I do not yet know...may get some clues upon admission.

I will leave the ward and go to the OR alone and will wake up in recovery alone and return to the ward alone - apart from nursing staff/assistants of course.

(I've had a number of surgeries and it's always been that way in the past). Visiting is strictly scheduled - between the hours of 3pm - 8pm only. I am going to to be in hospital for a minimum of 5 days - I hope I sleep alot to pass the time. This is the norm for the UK.

I would dearly love DH to be there when I go to the OR and when I wake but it it just isn't going to happen. Last surgery I had I had a lovely motherly nursing assistant give me moral support just before I went 'under' and am hoping for the same this time. I understand my hospital employs theatre assistants for this very purpose. ( I thought about becoming one post -op)

Try and stay positive - I hope you have good nursing staff to help you through it!

Sponsored Links
Unread 09-27-2002, 09:34 AM
Afraid of being alone...

When you find that Knight in Shining Armor, share him with the rest of us ....

Don't get me wrong.... my husband and I have a good relationship and we are very happily married. However, he is not going to be kissing my tears away. He probably won't visit me in recovery and I don't know that I want him sitting in a waiting room while I am in surgery. He hates to see me in pain and deals with it poorly.

We are never alone. God loves you and your Hyster Sisters will be praying for you. The serenity prayer may help you, at least it helps me:

God grant the ability to accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference


Unread 09-27-2002, 09:59 AM
Afraid of being alone...

I am a lady in waiting (for the insurance company decision). A few years ago I went with my sister to give her support. Don't be afraid. We are all here for you. Have you thought of asking a friend or other family member?

Five years ago I had carpal tunnel surgery and decided I would be there for my friends and family. Don't be afraid to talk to another family member or friend about your concern.

Unread 09-27-2002, 10:02 AM
Afraid of being alone...

Thank you for all of these sweet thoughts....there are some problems, however....

#1-I am across the country from the few living family members I have-they are all too ill to travel to see me
#2-I am going through a divorce and having to rely on HIM to do ANYTHING for me....because I LOST all of my friends, because they are HIS friends, not mine, any longer...guess that's kinda' #3, huh?
BUT, knowing you sisters are here and thinking of me will help me get through! And maybe, just maybe, the X dh will pull through..
Unread 09-27-2002, 10:07 AM
Afraid of being alone...

I don't know if every hospital does this, but while I was waiting to go into surgery (my husband was with me) the hospital had a volunteer, a very sweet old woman, who was there to calm me down and she was great. I was a little teary and she held my hand and told me about her hyst and how I would feel great after, and how the surgery was a "piece of cake", etc. She came by the next day again to see me. It was very comforting. Maybe you can inquire at the hospital about this.

Hope all goes well for you, s

Unread 09-27-2002, 10:24 AM
Afraid of being alone...

I'm with ya hun. I'm 37 and I have no family except a brother in FLA and I'm in CALI. I have a great boyfriend, but he was just put on the night shift, and has to sleep the first half of the day. He will take me to the castle on Tues. I most likely won't see him intil Wed. or Thurs. if that's even possible. He has a daughter to get from school, soccer practice, etc. But you know what I'm going to do? purchase a calling card, take my phone book with me to the castle, and call everyone in it and tell them they HAVE to talk to me to help pass the time Maybe you can call your hubby at night and watch a favorite tv show with him on the phone. We do that often (we have separate homes and kids to take care of) and it's as close to being together as you can get. I have had surgeries in the past, and sometimes I just didn't WANT anyone there. I don't remember the entire day of my last surgery. I'll pray that your nurses will be comforting to you! (and your meds will give you peace)

Unread 09-27-2002, 10:28 AM
Afraid of being alone...

oops, meant x-hubby
Unread 09-27-2002, 10:31 AM
Afraid of being alone...

one more thing....I can relate to #3...lost all my friends because they were the X's....good thing we have our sisters!

Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions

Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
14 Replies, Last Reply 06-19-2008, Started By bear lover
11 Replies, Last Reply 06-02-2008, Started By mosaint
4 Replies, Last Reply 05-22-2008, Started By Cery
14 Replies, Last Reply 03-20-2007, Started By maxfactor
8 Replies, Last Reply 10-03-2005, Started By sapphira
2 Replies, Last Reply 04-01-2004, Started By help needed
» afraid
5 Replies, Last Reply 03-22-2004, Started By scarycat
5 Replies, Last Reply 12-31-2003, Started By AnneRay
» Afraid
11 Replies, Last Reply 09-28-2003, Started By YARRINGTON
3 Replies, Last Reply 07-01-2003, Started By Queeney
1 Reply, Hormone and Menopause Central
21 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
4 Replies, Sexual Dysfunction After Hysterectomy
2 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
3 Replies, Hysterectomy Options and Alternatives
6 Replies, Cancer Concerns - GYN
1 Reply, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
3 Replies, Prayer Requests for Hyster Sisters
31 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)


Hysterectomy News

October 27,2021


HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive


Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays

Request Information

I am a HysterSister


Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours


Your Hysterectomy Date

CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  

$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!